The Biggest Word of All

As a child growing up in Philadelphia one of the early gifts my mother gave to me was the gift of her time. As a single parent with three young children at the time there were few opportunities to spend one on one time with my mom. Yet, I remember with fondness that my mom spent special time with me her oldest child.

Perhaps there is a special relationship between a mother and her first born. This could also have something to do with the fact that I am nearly two years older than my closest sibling and over three years older than the next. I could also attribute the difference to the way that boys were raised in those days as compared to how girls were raised. I think it is safe to say that I don’t know all of the reasons why I had a special relationship with my mom, but I know that I benefited greatly from the time we spent together.

I guess that I was what we might call today a precocious child. I can remember from an early age constantly inserting myself into what was called “grown folks business.” I would engage any and every adult in conversation about subjects that seemed to amaze them. I doubt that this was so much related to my intellect, but because I can remember that early on I talked too much.

My mother took it upon herself to teach me to read before I entered grade school. She elected not to send me to kindergarten which I now suspect is due to her knowledge that I had no skills in painting, drawing, or playing with crayons. What I did love to do was read. This made me antisocial to children my age. My limited skills at the finer points of being a young kid probably added to their distrust of me. But through reading I was able to entertain myself and my young sisters. The time I spent reading also helped me to engage adults as I was fond of reading from a world book and quoting abstract facts that while generally meaningless would always get a raised eyebrow from most adults. Thinking back now I think I just figured out why I became so introverted as a child. I really did not fit in.

When I learned to read the books my mother chose were the Dick and Jane series. The words we all remember from those books are “see Spot run.” These books worked as early readers because of the word repetition. Words like see, come, and run would be repeated over and over in each consecutive sentence. Learning to read using these books created a sense of familiarity with words. The one syllable words could be pronounced easily and did not require much coordination between teeth and tongue. Other than the names of the characters the words in the early Dick and Jane series were three letters long. It was not until you got through the first couple of books that you were introduced to words with more than three letters and two syllables. It was in the Dick and Jane series that I learned what I still refer to as the biggest word of all. That word is “look.”

The word look of course has four letters. Yet, I call this the biggest word of all because it means so much to me. In my early reading look is introduced with the sentence “Look Jane, see Spot run.” This was my first encounter with the power of observation. Dick is telling Jane to pay attention. Later my mom taught me to cross the street in our busy neighborhood. There was my favorite word once again. My mother taught me to “stop, look, and listen.” Once again I was learning the power of observation now engaging one of my other senses. My mother further admonished me that when crossing the street I was to “look both ways” before I crossed, making sure that there was no traffic coming from either direction.

As a father now I teach my children about my favorite word. I have taught them the all important survival skills related to crossing the street. They have learned to look both ways and to stop, look, and listen. But I have built upon my mother’s early lessons. I have learned and have taught my children to look at people. I have learned to look at people when I talk to them. Looking people in the eye gives them a sense that you are interested in what they are saying. I also look at the people around me. I make it a habit to be observant of my world.

The word look is now inserted into my personal mission statement. The words I have written there are “I will look and pay attention. There is so much to see.” This is my reminder that there are so many opportunities in the world that we only need to look to see them. I encourage myself to look for opportunities to enlighten. I look for a chance to help others. I look for teachable moments with the people in my life. I look at my values and character. I remind myself that others are looking and so I must always be the best that I can be.

Look. This is such a simple word that we have tucked it away in our vocabulary. We engage our senses without fully knowing that when we look we must also see. Sometimes when you look you will see injustice. At other times you will look and see a person that could use a kind word or a moment of your time listening. When not looking at people take a look at your checkbook. There you will have a chance to see what things you have been valuing. Perhaps it is time in that case to look in a different direction.

Our world has become so high tech that we have lost the art of looking. When we want to communicate we use Powerpoint to make a presentation. Next time you sit through one of these take a look. The person presenting is not looking at you and you are not looking at them. Instead, everyone is just looking at the screen. Maybe the next time you find yourself in this situation you can yell out “look Jane, see spot run!” Remind the people in the room that real communication, real observation, real meaning is established when we take the time to look at each other. Let’s look each other in the eye. Let’s stop averting our attention. Stop, Look, and Listen.