At Some Point the Dumbness Has to Stop

The other day I was standing with a group of people that I know casually. These were not people that I would make the mistake of referring to as friends, but people that I know through my children’s school, sports activities, and other social events. For the most part there were a number of conversations going on that did not involve me. This worked out well for me and I actually was enjoying spending the time not talking. Finally, someone asked me a question that required that I give them my opinion. Unfortunately, I knew immediately that my opinion on the matter being discussed was going to be unpopular. Yet, that did not keep me from expressing my opinion. Those nearby listening to me were shocked. How in the world could I hold an opinion that did not agree with the opinions of those in the group?

The discussion I was having in this group is not so important. The issue at hand was neither critical nor important. What was most interesting to me was how ill prepared most people are to hear opinions which differ from their own, or that differ from the crowd. It seems that when groups are gathered together that there is little real thinking going on. Rather, most groups just follow along like cattle. One or two people have a point of view, and everyone else seeking to belong either just follows, or tries to find a way to articulate the popular opinion while still sounding like they had an original thought.

My sense is that much of what is going on around us is just plain stupid. People are for the most part just moving nose to butt of the person in front of them. There is no examination of what we are doing, where we are going, and no one dares to question why. We are all generally uncommitted to any point of view or cause. There is just one large mass of people that just tolerate things as they are. Not too long ago a friend had a sign in their office that said “At some point the dumbness has to stop.” The mindless movement from place to place really does need to come to an end.

Two days ago I tuned in to NPR during the lunch hour. They are celebrating Poetry Month and on that day they featured a poem by Taylor Mali titled “Totally like whatever, you know?” This poem talks about the insidious question marks that have crept into our language and have been attaching themselves to sentences, even when the person has no intention of asking a question. Mali goes on to assert that we are generally uncommitted as a society and urges us to develop convictions. You can listen to the poem by following this link: POEM

As I examine the failures I see every day in business, in relationships, and in families I find that most can be traced back to this pervasive lack of commitment. We have become a society that has proven the old adage that says if you stand for nothing you will fall for anything. Independent thought or personal commitment of any kind is so lacking that we are shocked when we encounter anyone that has a genuine point of view. Even more amazing to me is that rather than attempting to reason through another’s viewpoint, we simply become intolerant and therefore dismiss that person.

I am convinced that most of the people I have the good fortune to know are very good people. However, very few are willing to suffer the pain and personal sacrifice that comes with developing a committed point of view. For the most part many of these are very smart people that are just doing very dumb things. They have become tolerant of their lack of commitment because it is much easier than the pain and sacrifice required to change. I know this on a personal level as I see in my own life the areas where having a commitment to an ideal is much harder than just continuing to do what I am doing. Even I need to read what I am writing.

So how do we move from this sense of totally like whatever? I dare to say that we must develop a sense of love and passion. I read once that Ray Kroc (the founder of McDonalds) said that in order to be successful in his business you had to love a hamburger bun. Most studies tell us that seventy percent of people do what they do because it just gets them by. They just tolerate their work, or their customers. This is not just a work problem. Most of us just tolerate our families, our friends and even have a “tolerable existence.” There is little passion in our lives.

I wonder when is the last time you got to ask yourself if you believe in what you are doing. How many of us care about the people around us whether they are customers, family, or friends? Now here is the interesting question. Do you think that others know that you don’t passionately believe in what you are doing? Do you think that your customers, employees, family or friends know that you just tolerate them? While we want to answer these questions in a way that puts us in a good light, it is time to be honest. They know! If they don’t know how you really feel then shame on you for not being genuine.

Are you doing what you are committed to? Can you describe in a sentence or two what you are passionate about? Does anyone else know? I think that it is time for us to believe in something, love something, and do something that we are committed to do. In the short term we will experience pain and sacrifice. In the long run with discipline we will achieve goals that we could never have dreamed possible, and emotionally we will find happiness. At some point the dumbness has to stop.