Time is of the essence. This is a legal term that is invoked in certain types of transactions. Generally the term means that there is a limited amount of time left to complete the transaction. This term is used to create a sense of urgency and to force someone to take action. I can only assume that those using this term do not generally believe that time is important until we reach the end of a transaction. Perhaps this points to one of the most important problems we have with our perceptions about time.
I was reading an article recently that mentioned the fact that most of us have a false perception about available time. In a recent survey college students were asked if they would be willing to make a specific time commitment. They were given a choice of making the commitment on that day or at a date exactly one week later at the same time. The consensus was that making a commitment on that day was not possible. However, when asked if they could make the same commitment exactly one week later at the same time, the general consensus was that yes they could make that time commitment. The researchers conducting this study were pointing out what is common among most people, not just college students. That is that we generally have a misperception about time that causes us to believe that we have less time at the present, but we will always have more time in the future. This misperception usually causes us to make time commitments in the future that we would not make today because we believe that we will have more time then. Of course in
reality when the future date arrives we have no more time than we had at the moment that we made the time commitment. This then results in our having to make adjustments and cancellations in order to make room for our now over committed schedule. The fix of course is to then schedule these events into the future once again when we believe that we will have more time.
This is a bit of an illness which I will for the sake of this article call “Time Bulimia.” I wish I could say that I coined this phrase, but I did not. I first read about the phrase in an article where someone referred to their boss as a time bulimic. This busy executive would “binge” by scheduling their days minute by minute in advance. The calendar would be quickly filled up with future events such that the executive’s schedule would be brimming over. Then, when the day came the executive would review their schedule and “purge” the events with a series of cancellations and rescheduling. I certainly do not want to trivialize the very serious illness of bulimia by comparing it to time management problems, but this comparison seems to me to be very appropriate. I would also argue that this sort of time management is a sickness and has many calamitous effects.
In the corporate world we see daily examples of this illness. We read of or directly witness the “heroics” of those workers that put in eighteen hour days running from project to project, or meeting to meeting. We canonize these workers as “extreme employees” and even often times reward them with more pay or promotions. We idolize those that can work the hardest, put in the most hours, and essentially live highly unbalanced lives. Those that don’t keep such schedules are labeled as lacking ambition, lazy, or uncommitted. I know that I personally have suffered from this disease often times placing too much on my plate binging on commitments only to later purge them with cancellations and rescheduling. We go through this binge and purge cycle until it all finally catches up with us and shows up in the form of fatigue, illness, stress, and broken relationships.
My understanding of bulimia tells me that sufferers generally have an unrealistic view of themselves. They are unable to see their physical features accurately. They look in the mirror and despite facts to the contrary see only a fat person. Their desire to be thin leads them to continuously do things that they believe will help them to achieve the body image they so desperately want. Time bulimics are similar. They have unrealistic perceptions about how much time they have available. They believe that they can always add on one more commitment. These sufferers are almost competitive with their missed sense of time. They brag about what time they get up, how little sleep they need, how long they work, and the “all nighters” they pull so frequently. They eat meals at their desk, multi-task to get more done and employ the latest in “time saving” technology to become even more efficient.
I am sure that you know a time bulimic. The tell tale signs are easy to spot. Look for someone that is always apologetic about missed commitments, or is frequently telling you that they are extremely busy. Another tell tale sign is that most time bulimics tend to look unhealthy. Look for the pale skin, or quickly growing extremities that come from bad meals, lack of sunshine, and failing to exercise regularly. Don’t be fooled by the lack of high tech gear. Not all time bulimics use high tech equipment. Many have the ability to over commit and yet keep their schedules in their heads. It is harder to root out these sufferers since they don’t refer to their calendar or schedule. Rather, these people are usually just missing most of the time. They are constantly running from place to place and event to event. In order to recognize these people you must listen carefully to their conversations. You will hear them use words like “I have to” or making statements that indicate that they have little control or choice over their many obligations. Their badge of honor is the events they attend, the committees they are on, the children’s games they never miss and their dual roles as bread winners and super mom/super dad. These folks are not nearly as obvious since on the surface they appear to be doing all of the right things. However, even for these people it is not that they are doing the wrong things, but rather that they are doing too many things.
We all need to slow down. Time maintains a constant pace. I like the quote by Margaret B Johnstone where she describes time as a “fixed income.” She says that the real problem facing most of us is how to live successfully within our daily allotment.
If my analogy of time bulimia is like similar diseases then those that you know who are suffering from it do not realize the problem they have. You can’t tell them they are sick and most don’t realize it until they suffer disastrous health consequences. Perhaps even you are suffering from this disease. Yet, you can’t see the negative image being created. I can only hope that reading this will cause you to stop just long enough to examine your time and decide whether or not changes might be in order. After all, we are only talking about time, and time is the stuff that life is made of.
You have to allow a certain amount of time in which you are doing nothing in order to have things occur to you, to let your mind think.
--Mortimer Adler.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Monday, March 14, 2005
Information Arbitrage
In the financial markets there is a term known as arbitrage. Arbitrage is commonly accepted as a method by which a financial transaction is carried out where there is a profit without risk. Arbitrage transactions were very a popular in the 80s with traders like Ivan Boesky. Boesky used arbitrage transactions to make millions and perhaps billions of dollars in deals where he would buy the stock of a company about to be taken over. After the takeover would be completed, Boesky would sell the stock and thereby make a huge profit. We later learned that Boesky’s deals were not really legal as he seemed to use information he had gained from company insiders to place his arbitrage bets.
Today arbitrage transactions still remain mostly in the finance arena. Institutions use arbitrage to buy a commodity or security at one price when they become aware that the same commodity or security can be sold in another market at some small profit. Such transactions require speed, low transaction costs, and access to legal information. This final component of today’s arbitrage transactions, legal information, is what I want to talk about.
We live in what some social scientist may someday refer to as the age of information or the age of knowledge. Our society has moved from a time in the 1500s when information was held in the control of an elite few, to today when a young child can perform a Google Search and acquire all of the information available around the globe on almost any subject. There is a certain equity that has developed today in that anyone with a free library card has access to documents and information that was heretofore beyond our imagination. Yet while access is free, we see so few people that avail themselves of this unlimited resource. I believe that it is this very phenomenon which has created modern arbitrage opportunities that we can now call “information arbitrage.”
In my work as a consultant I am an information arbitrageur. The majority of my work results in my obtaining information from one source, and in turn selling that information in the form of knowledge to another source. Within the areas of my expertise, the opportunities are endless. As I continually obtain information the available sources for the sale of that knowledge grows. However, in order to become an effective arbitrageur, you must learn to continually ask the question “how can I use this information?”
Information arbitrage is not new. I can recall my mother using information arbitrage when I was a child. She would scan the various sale sheets that arrived at our home each week in order to determine which of the local grocery stores had the best prices say for ground beef, breakfast cereal, or a five pound bag of potatoes. She would use these markets to purchase those items that we routinely used, and would then “offset” her profits to buy an item that she wanted to purchase for her. I see similar transactions on eBay. The apparent price variations or commodity availability around the country has created entrepreneurial opportunities for sellers. A seller in New York can purchase an item on sale in Manhattan, and in turn sell that item to a buyer in Idaho. The arbitrage opportunities are even greater for so called “must have items” where consumers are willing to pay above the market price to purchase something today that they might not otherwise get. These arbitrage opportunities include everything from the hottest concert tickets, to designer clothing.
In all of these cases someone is taking advantage of the vast sources of information that exists in our society. Information arbitrageurs are using this information to make profits from their knowledge. In this information and knowledge age we each have a chance to become arbitrageurs. We must increase our awareness of the world around us and begin to process the information we gain in our every day life. New ideas gained from conversations with friends and peers create arbitrage opportunities. A casual conversation with the postman can yield new knowledge that you can arbitrage in some way. A visit to your local grocery store or coffee shop brings to you new knowledge that has value. The key is to be on the alert for this knowledge, and to ask “what can I do with this information?”
Information arbitrage will not make you as wealthy as an Ivan Boesky. But if you begin to pay attention to information arbitrage opportunities, you will increase your knowledge and your value. And who knows, you might even save a little money on your purchases, and maybe even identify that next fashion trend that will make you an internet tycoon. The information is all around you. You only need to look and listen.
Today arbitrage transactions still remain mostly in the finance arena. Institutions use arbitrage to buy a commodity or security at one price when they become aware that the same commodity or security can be sold in another market at some small profit. Such transactions require speed, low transaction costs, and access to legal information. This final component of today’s arbitrage transactions, legal information, is what I want to talk about.
We live in what some social scientist may someday refer to as the age of information or the age of knowledge. Our society has moved from a time in the 1500s when information was held in the control of an elite few, to today when a young child can perform a Google Search and acquire all of the information available around the globe on almost any subject. There is a certain equity that has developed today in that anyone with a free library card has access to documents and information that was heretofore beyond our imagination. Yet while access is free, we see so few people that avail themselves of this unlimited resource. I believe that it is this very phenomenon which has created modern arbitrage opportunities that we can now call “information arbitrage.”
In my work as a consultant I am an information arbitrageur. The majority of my work results in my obtaining information from one source, and in turn selling that information in the form of knowledge to another source. Within the areas of my expertise, the opportunities are endless. As I continually obtain information the available sources for the sale of that knowledge grows. However, in order to become an effective arbitrageur, you must learn to continually ask the question “how can I use this information?”
Information arbitrage is not new. I can recall my mother using information arbitrage when I was a child. She would scan the various sale sheets that arrived at our home each week in order to determine which of the local grocery stores had the best prices say for ground beef, breakfast cereal, or a five pound bag of potatoes. She would use these markets to purchase those items that we routinely used, and would then “offset” her profits to buy an item that she wanted to purchase for her. I see similar transactions on eBay. The apparent price variations or commodity availability around the country has created entrepreneurial opportunities for sellers. A seller in New York can purchase an item on sale in Manhattan, and in turn sell that item to a buyer in Idaho. The arbitrage opportunities are even greater for so called “must have items” where consumers are willing to pay above the market price to purchase something today that they might not otherwise get. These arbitrage opportunities include everything from the hottest concert tickets, to designer clothing.
In all of these cases someone is taking advantage of the vast sources of information that exists in our society. Information arbitrageurs are using this information to make profits from their knowledge. In this information and knowledge age we each have a chance to become arbitrageurs. We must increase our awareness of the world around us and begin to process the information we gain in our every day life. New ideas gained from conversations with friends and peers create arbitrage opportunities. A casual conversation with the postman can yield new knowledge that you can arbitrage in some way. A visit to your local grocery store or coffee shop brings to you new knowledge that has value. The key is to be on the alert for this knowledge, and to ask “what can I do with this information?”
Information arbitrage will not make you as wealthy as an Ivan Boesky. But if you begin to pay attention to information arbitrage opportunities, you will increase your knowledge and your value. And who knows, you might even save a little money on your purchases, and maybe even identify that next fashion trend that will make you an internet tycoon. The information is all around you. You only need to look and listen.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Edge Makes The Difference
This morning a news story on National Public Radio caught my attention. The story chronicled the 75th anniversary of Mahatma Gandhi’s “Dandi March”, which is also known as the “Salt March.” Tomorrow people from across the globe will join together to re-enact this march which encompasses some 241 miles to the beach in Dandi Gujarat. The Dandi March is considered by many to be the biggest and most successful of the defiance campaigns initiated by Gandhi. At the age of 61 he walked to the sea to perform a simple act of making salt. In doing so he defied the mighty British Empire and the laws that they had established prohibiting the people of India from making salt.
In 1965 on the March 7, some 600 marchers headed east out of Selma, Alabama onto route 80 headed towards Montgomery, Alabama. These marchers walked only six blocks before they were met by police, police dogs, water cannons, and brutal force. Two more attempts would be required before these people could reach their goal in Montgomery. They were marching to achieve the right to vote for African Americans.
Sometimes a message can hit you so hard that you reel backwards from the awesome weight of its significance. As I spent time today thinking about these two events, I could not help but immediately see the similarity. It is well known that Martin Luther King Junior both studied and admired Gandhi. Many of the tactics used by the Civil Rights Movement in the United States were modeled on Gandhi’s non-violence principals. I can’t help but to also believe that the very timing of the march may well have coincided with that historic march taken up by a man in his 60’s some thirty-five years before. Each of these singular events sparked a movement and a sea change for a nation. Gandhi moved his people against the tyranny of the British Empire, while King moved his people against unfair laws and policies in the United States.
Writers and historians far more significant than me have written about these events. I have no illusions that I can add anything more eloquent to the discourse that has already been provided. Instead I raise these two points to highlight a more current issue. The issue I want to address is the absence of Edge.
Gandhi and King held strong convictions. They spoke about the things that they believed in. But more than their words, each of these men in their own way acted. In each case they stood up against forces that they believed were wrong. Given the times in which each of these men lived the risks they faced were enormous. Each man knew that their actions could well cost them their lives. Each man suffered jail time for their actions, and each of them were beaten or otherwise physically abused for fighting for what they believed in. Gandhi and King were men that possessed deep courage. They were men that understood “Edge.”
Every day I see and I experience so many examples that tell me that Edge is gone from our society. I speak with workers that accept unfair work practices or treatment from immoral or corrupt bosses and employers; I see parents that give up on their rebellious teenagers; and I see friends not standing by friends in times of need. In each of these cases I see a lack of Edge when the stakes are high. I see professionals in the work place that have become so convinced of their self-importance that they have lost sight of productivity, or customers or meaning. People are too afraid or too complacent to make a difference.
Our world is full of far too many examples of people that don’t have Edge. We see repeated random acts of callousness. We ignore or condone injustices as long as they are not being done to us. We want more, we get more, and we do less. We abandon people that need us most, because we are too busy or perhaps too important to stop for a moment to understand their troubles. We only look out for ourselves, and don’t consider needs of the world around us.
Gandhi and King risked their lives to start movements that changed their worlds. Their singular actions did not effect change overnight. They endured personal hardships. They suffered in jails and experienced many forms of abuse. They used Edge to make a change that did not benefit them. They gave their lives to make a difference.
I want you to ask yourself some questions today. What have you done lately to improve the circumstances of someone other than yourself? I am not asking if you have risked your life for a cause. Rather, I am asking something simpler. Have you picked anyone up that you knew was down? Have you made a difference in the life of someone else this week? What are you celebrating? Is it a great meeting, or an incredible sale? Have you celebrated the joy of a child? Have you high fived the hug of a loved one? Have you been seen thrusting your fist in the air saying “Yes!” because of someone that you helped? Are you doing what matters?
As you began this day you were given yet another opportunity to make a difference. First, express gratitude for the 24 hours you have been given today. Next, shake off all of the negative thoughts you have had today about the weather, traffic, or the coffee being colder than you like it. Decide now that starting today you will make a difference. You will say what needs to be said when an injustice is being done. Today you will say no to your unhealthy urges and impulses. Today you will sincerely thank someone, listen to someone, and hug someone.
Your actions today will not change the world. But you may inspire another who will someday make a difference, and in that small way, you too will have made a difference. We have our history to teach us about how small actions can change the world. Take the time to act now.
In 1965 on the March 7, some 600 marchers headed east out of Selma, Alabama onto route 80 headed towards Montgomery, Alabama. These marchers walked only six blocks before they were met by police, police dogs, water cannons, and brutal force. Two more attempts would be required before these people could reach their goal in Montgomery. They were marching to achieve the right to vote for African Americans.
Sometimes a message can hit you so hard that you reel backwards from the awesome weight of its significance. As I spent time today thinking about these two events, I could not help but immediately see the similarity. It is well known that Martin Luther King Junior both studied and admired Gandhi. Many of the tactics used by the Civil Rights Movement in the United States were modeled on Gandhi’s non-violence principals. I can’t help but to also believe that the very timing of the march may well have coincided with that historic march taken up by a man in his 60’s some thirty-five years before. Each of these singular events sparked a movement and a sea change for a nation. Gandhi moved his people against the tyranny of the British Empire, while King moved his people against unfair laws and policies in the United States.
Writers and historians far more significant than me have written about these events. I have no illusions that I can add anything more eloquent to the discourse that has already been provided. Instead I raise these two points to highlight a more current issue. The issue I want to address is the absence of Edge.
Gandhi and King held strong convictions. They spoke about the things that they believed in. But more than their words, each of these men in their own way acted. In each case they stood up against forces that they believed were wrong. Given the times in which each of these men lived the risks they faced were enormous. Each man knew that their actions could well cost them their lives. Each man suffered jail time for their actions, and each of them were beaten or otherwise physically abused for fighting for what they believed in. Gandhi and King were men that possessed deep courage. They were men that understood “Edge.”
Every day I see and I experience so many examples that tell me that Edge is gone from our society. I speak with workers that accept unfair work practices or treatment from immoral or corrupt bosses and employers; I see parents that give up on their rebellious teenagers; and I see friends not standing by friends in times of need. In each of these cases I see a lack of Edge when the stakes are high. I see professionals in the work place that have become so convinced of their self-importance that they have lost sight of productivity, or customers or meaning. People are too afraid or too complacent to make a difference.
Our world is full of far too many examples of people that don’t have Edge. We see repeated random acts of callousness. We ignore or condone injustices as long as they are not being done to us. We want more, we get more, and we do less. We abandon people that need us most, because we are too busy or perhaps too important to stop for a moment to understand their troubles. We only look out for ourselves, and don’t consider needs of the world around us.
Gandhi and King risked their lives to start movements that changed their worlds. Their singular actions did not effect change overnight. They endured personal hardships. They suffered in jails and experienced many forms of abuse. They used Edge to make a change that did not benefit them. They gave their lives to make a difference.
I want you to ask yourself some questions today. What have you done lately to improve the circumstances of someone other than yourself? I am not asking if you have risked your life for a cause. Rather, I am asking something simpler. Have you picked anyone up that you knew was down? Have you made a difference in the life of someone else this week? What are you celebrating? Is it a great meeting, or an incredible sale? Have you celebrated the joy of a child? Have you high fived the hug of a loved one? Have you been seen thrusting your fist in the air saying “Yes!” because of someone that you helped? Are you doing what matters?
As you began this day you were given yet another opportunity to make a difference. First, express gratitude for the 24 hours you have been given today. Next, shake off all of the negative thoughts you have had today about the weather, traffic, or the coffee being colder than you like it. Decide now that starting today you will make a difference. You will say what needs to be said when an injustice is being done. Today you will say no to your unhealthy urges and impulses. Today you will sincerely thank someone, listen to someone, and hug someone.
Your actions today will not change the world. But you may inspire another who will someday make a difference, and in that small way, you too will have made a difference. We have our history to teach us about how small actions can change the world. Take the time to act now.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Life and Basketball
It’s official. Today in our house the madness begins. It is the time of year when we lose all sense of time, and we plan our lives around basketball. It is March Madness time, and when it comes to College Basketball, our home takes on a very different flavor.
I have been a fan of College Basketball for about 25 years. In the years prior to that my idea of a great basketball game was watching Julius Irving playing for the Philadelphia 76ers. I enjoyed the on court style of Walt “Clyde” Frazier, the quickness of Henry Bibby (the senior not the junior), or the battles between Bill Russell and Wilt “the stilt” Chamberlain. In those days the professional game was my first love. But, I can remember when I began to love college basketball. It was the game between NC State and the University of Houston Cougars.
Every basketball fan knows that NC State, headed by their coach Jim Valvano, won the NCAA championship in 1983. Every weekend over the next three weeks you will see a replay of the end of the game between Houston and NC State. I watched that game and can remember the excitement. That year I was rooting for Houston, and the famed “Phi Slamma Jamma” team headed up by Hakeem Olajuwon and Clyde “the glide” Drexler. The team was ranked number one heading into the tournament and the “smart money” knew that this was the team that was going to win the National Championship. Sometimes the smart money is not so smart.
Houston played Louisville in the semi-final game. The Houston team was known for its breathtaking quickness and leaping ability. Led by its two superstars, this team was fun to watch. A sure bet to win against Louisville. They not only won this game, but did so in convincing style with incredible acrobatic displays of dunks by Drexler and Olajuwon. In the other semi-final game, NC State played in almost pedestrian style, beating their opponent, the Georgia Bulldogs.
With the NC State and Houston victories in the semi-finals, the National Championship game was set. This was almost a David against Goliath scenario. NC State was coming off of a lackluster season during which they lost ten games. Their winning performances in the tournament included a double overtime victory and a win by just one point in the Regional Final. One writer is known to have commented that the championship game would be the Varsity team against the Junior Varsity team.
In sports and in life the race does not always go to the swiftest. NC State used a tight defense to shut down Houston’s most valuable weapon which was speed, and high flying dunks. Valvano coached an otherwise unremarkable group of young men (they had acquired the nickname “the cardiac pack” because of their narrow victories) to perform at the peak of their abilities. They developed a strategy to slow down the game that Houston had depended on.
This game had all of the drama that the NCAA tournament is known for. But in the end, a little known sophomore named Lorenzo Charles would become the hero. After battling all night with the taller and more powerful Olajuwon, it was Lorenzo Charles whose quick reflexes and ball sense caused him to react to a missed thirty foot shot to make a dunk in the final seconds winning the game 54 – 52.
We use sports as a metaphor for so many things in life. I find myself constantly making references to those metaphors over and over again. Usually we devote our attention to the professionals. Those that have talent beyond mere mortals like us. Men and women that have built careers based on their natural gifts and abilities. We admire their rock star status and read stories about their fame and fortune. But the college game is different. The men and women playing in the NCAA Tournament are mostly playing for their love of their game. This year, those that are seniors will probably play their last game in front of a large audience. They will graduate from college, and begin otherwise less glamorous lives. They will join the ranks of the professional working world, and just like you and me begin to live an ordinary existence.
I watch the NCAA tournament with my children. We talk often during the games about the thrill of being able to play on a national stage, displaying the very best that you can do. Being Pittsburgh fans, our team has lost each year in the “Sweet Sixteen.” But every year as we watch the tournament we learn lessons of overcoming the odds. We hear the stories of the kid that never should have made it. We see profiles of outstanding student athletes that teach us all that there are plenty of decent and smart athletes in the world of sports. And we also go through the heartbreak when our favored teams lose a game.
Perhaps you are not a sports fan as you read this. Maybe you don’t agree with my feelings about the thrill of college basketball. You might even be too busy to watch some of the 90 different games that will be aired just this week. That is understandable. But if you can get a minute, take some time out to watch a game this week. Watching these games you regain your sense of hope for our younger generation. Sure, some don’t act properly, and there are still too many jerks in sports. But if you can watch the games you will see parents in the stands. You will hear stories of young men and women overcoming adversity. And if you pay close attention, you will see diversity that goes beyond what we talk about in boardrooms. You will see the human spirit rise and fall with wins and losses.
My children mark the years with me watching the NCAA Tournament. We share many memories of tournaments past. Yes, there still are not many good reasons to watch TV, but for the next three weeks, my eyes will be on the tube, watching the game. It will be family time like none other, and maybe just maybe this year our team will go just a little bit farther than last year.
Maybe it is true that basketball is not an appropriate metaphor for life. Maybe we devote too much attention to sports and athletes in this country. Maybe athletes should not be role models. I agree with all of these. But when I watch the tournament I see a different picture. I see examples of group leadership. I see team building in the coaches and players. I see people doing their very best, win or lose. I watch the college game with my children, and I know that we learn something new every year. It's not about life, it's just about basketball, and we love it.
I have been a fan of College Basketball for about 25 years. In the years prior to that my idea of a great basketball game was watching Julius Irving playing for the Philadelphia 76ers. I enjoyed the on court style of Walt “Clyde” Frazier, the quickness of Henry Bibby (the senior not the junior), or the battles between Bill Russell and Wilt “the stilt” Chamberlain. In those days the professional game was my first love. But, I can remember when I began to love college basketball. It was the game between NC State and the University of Houston Cougars.
Every basketball fan knows that NC State, headed by their coach Jim Valvano, won the NCAA championship in 1983. Every weekend over the next three weeks you will see a replay of the end of the game between Houston and NC State. I watched that game and can remember the excitement. That year I was rooting for Houston, and the famed “Phi Slamma Jamma” team headed up by Hakeem Olajuwon and Clyde “the glide” Drexler. The team was ranked number one heading into the tournament and the “smart money” knew that this was the team that was going to win the National Championship. Sometimes the smart money is not so smart.
Houston played Louisville in the semi-final game. The Houston team was known for its breathtaking quickness and leaping ability. Led by its two superstars, this team was fun to watch. A sure bet to win against Louisville. They not only won this game, but did so in convincing style with incredible acrobatic displays of dunks by Drexler and Olajuwon. In the other semi-final game, NC State played in almost pedestrian style, beating their opponent, the Georgia Bulldogs.
With the NC State and Houston victories in the semi-finals, the National Championship game was set. This was almost a David against Goliath scenario. NC State was coming off of a lackluster season during which they lost ten games. Their winning performances in the tournament included a double overtime victory and a win by just one point in the Regional Final. One writer is known to have commented that the championship game would be the Varsity team against the Junior Varsity team.
In sports and in life the race does not always go to the swiftest. NC State used a tight defense to shut down Houston’s most valuable weapon which was speed, and high flying dunks. Valvano coached an otherwise unremarkable group of young men (they had acquired the nickname “the cardiac pack” because of their narrow victories) to perform at the peak of their abilities. They developed a strategy to slow down the game that Houston had depended on.
This game had all of the drama that the NCAA tournament is known for. But in the end, a little known sophomore named Lorenzo Charles would become the hero. After battling all night with the taller and more powerful Olajuwon, it was Lorenzo Charles whose quick reflexes and ball sense caused him to react to a missed thirty foot shot to make a dunk in the final seconds winning the game 54 – 52.
We use sports as a metaphor for so many things in life. I find myself constantly making references to those metaphors over and over again. Usually we devote our attention to the professionals. Those that have talent beyond mere mortals like us. Men and women that have built careers based on their natural gifts and abilities. We admire their rock star status and read stories about their fame and fortune. But the college game is different. The men and women playing in the NCAA Tournament are mostly playing for their love of their game. This year, those that are seniors will probably play their last game in front of a large audience. They will graduate from college, and begin otherwise less glamorous lives. They will join the ranks of the professional working world, and just like you and me begin to live an ordinary existence.
I watch the NCAA tournament with my children. We talk often during the games about the thrill of being able to play on a national stage, displaying the very best that you can do. Being Pittsburgh fans, our team has lost each year in the “Sweet Sixteen.” But every year as we watch the tournament we learn lessons of overcoming the odds. We hear the stories of the kid that never should have made it. We see profiles of outstanding student athletes that teach us all that there are plenty of decent and smart athletes in the world of sports. And we also go through the heartbreak when our favored teams lose a game.
Perhaps you are not a sports fan as you read this. Maybe you don’t agree with my feelings about the thrill of college basketball. You might even be too busy to watch some of the 90 different games that will be aired just this week. That is understandable. But if you can get a minute, take some time out to watch a game this week. Watching these games you regain your sense of hope for our younger generation. Sure, some don’t act properly, and there are still too many jerks in sports. But if you can watch the games you will see parents in the stands. You will hear stories of young men and women overcoming adversity. And if you pay close attention, you will see diversity that goes beyond what we talk about in boardrooms. You will see the human spirit rise and fall with wins and losses.
My children mark the years with me watching the NCAA Tournament. We share many memories of tournaments past. Yes, there still are not many good reasons to watch TV, but for the next three weeks, my eyes will be on the tube, watching the game. It will be family time like none other, and maybe just maybe this year our team will go just a little bit farther than last year.
Maybe it is true that basketball is not an appropriate metaphor for life. Maybe we devote too much attention to sports and athletes in this country. Maybe athletes should not be role models. I agree with all of these. But when I watch the tournament I see a different picture. I see examples of group leadership. I see team building in the coaches and players. I see people doing their very best, win or lose. I watch the college game with my children, and I know that we learn something new every year. It's not about life, it's just about basketball, and we love it.
Monday, March 07, 2005
The Seventh Deadly Sin
As a young child one of my favorite activities during the spring time was sitting on the front stoop of our house and just closing my eyes and soaking in the sun. I enjoyed the way that the sun would warm the steps and the feeling on my face after enduring the harsh coldness of winter. I thought that I could sit on those steps for hours, until of course my focus would shift to more pressing matters that might concern a child of six or seven.
One of those things I seemed to spend a lot of time doing then was trying to start fires. This was not your child playing in the house with matches sort of thing, but rather I would try to burn leaves or grass with my magnifying glass. I would be so excited when I could cause a leaf to begin to smoke with the focused power of the sun. And like most kids, I would sometimes point that focus on my skin just to see how it felt. Those same sun rays that I enjoyed on my face were not so enjoyable when focused to a pinpoint through my magnifying glass. It took only seconds for the rays to burn the skin and I would always jerk my hand back in total surprise as though I had not done this before.
Those days on the front stoop taught me much about the power of focused energy. My simple experiment taught me of the destructive power of focus, but today we know how the focused power of light through lasers brings vast benefits to our modern society. In fact today the power of focused laser beams can even improve the vision of a guy like me.
We readily recognize the benefits of focus. All of us have said at one time or another that we really need to focus to get things done. What we may not realize however is the high price of failing to focus. A recent article in the Opinion section of the Wall Street Journal talked about failing to focus. It named failure to focus as the seventh deadly sin and accounts such failure as one of the seven reasons that Carly Fiorina was ousted at Hewlett Packard. In short, they believe that Carly lost her job because she took on too many tasks. The result was that her lack of focus caused her not to be able to achieve her company’s priorities.
We seem to worship the superman or superwoman syndrome in our society. We admire those that have it all, or want it all. But the fact is that you just can’t do it all. We advocate “to do” lists and we have countless “yellow stickies” posted everywhere. Perhaps you even have a “some day maybe” list for those things that you might get to do some day. These may well be excellent tools to remind us of tasks unfinished, but they speak to a lack of focused energy.
I read a book a few years ago that established the four “Ds” of focused activity. They are as follows:
Dump It – just say no to certain activities
Delegate it – Determine if someone else might be better at doing a task than you
Defer it – Things you need to do but not right now. Schedule these things
Do it - Things to do right now which are your most important projects
Another recommendation is to limit even your to do list. One thought on this is to limit your list to no more than two or three things. The mind begins to wander when too many choices are available. When your list is too long, you will tend to focus on activities that are not necessarily the most important, but rather the easiest. I recommend the list of three. You can be very clear about your priorities when the list is short. Now before you scoff at this idea, let me say that I know you have more than three things to do. You may have a hundred things to do. But let’s be real folks, right now you are not doing any of them. So why not do just three? Get an index card and write down three things that you will do today. No more than three and no less than three. Start on the first thing on the list first. When the list is done, you throw away the card and make a new list. Think of the opportunities to celebrate and throw your hands in the air as you rip up the completed list. Focus brings success.
Using the power of focus you can identify your priorities. Your priorities are the things that you promised yourself or others that you would do. These are your main things and you must always keep the main things the main thing.
So right now, before you move to another blog or your next task, take out a card and write your list. Focus will get things done, but take an example from Carly, a lack of focus can be deadly.
One of those things I seemed to spend a lot of time doing then was trying to start fires. This was not your child playing in the house with matches sort of thing, but rather I would try to burn leaves or grass with my magnifying glass. I would be so excited when I could cause a leaf to begin to smoke with the focused power of the sun. And like most kids, I would sometimes point that focus on my skin just to see how it felt. Those same sun rays that I enjoyed on my face were not so enjoyable when focused to a pinpoint through my magnifying glass. It took only seconds for the rays to burn the skin and I would always jerk my hand back in total surprise as though I had not done this before.
Those days on the front stoop taught me much about the power of focused energy. My simple experiment taught me of the destructive power of focus, but today we know how the focused power of light through lasers brings vast benefits to our modern society. In fact today the power of focused laser beams can even improve the vision of a guy like me.
We readily recognize the benefits of focus. All of us have said at one time or another that we really need to focus to get things done. What we may not realize however is the high price of failing to focus. A recent article in the Opinion section of the Wall Street Journal talked about failing to focus. It named failure to focus as the seventh deadly sin and accounts such failure as one of the seven reasons that Carly Fiorina was ousted at Hewlett Packard. In short, they believe that Carly lost her job because she took on too many tasks. The result was that her lack of focus caused her not to be able to achieve her company’s priorities.
We seem to worship the superman or superwoman syndrome in our society. We admire those that have it all, or want it all. But the fact is that you just can’t do it all. We advocate “to do” lists and we have countless “yellow stickies” posted everywhere. Perhaps you even have a “some day maybe” list for those things that you might get to do some day. These may well be excellent tools to remind us of tasks unfinished, but they speak to a lack of focused energy.
I read a book a few years ago that established the four “Ds” of focused activity. They are as follows:
Dump It – just say no to certain activities
Delegate it – Determine if someone else might be better at doing a task than you
Defer it – Things you need to do but not right now. Schedule these things
Do it - Things to do right now which are your most important projects
Another recommendation is to limit even your to do list. One thought on this is to limit your list to no more than two or three things. The mind begins to wander when too many choices are available. When your list is too long, you will tend to focus on activities that are not necessarily the most important, but rather the easiest. I recommend the list of three. You can be very clear about your priorities when the list is short. Now before you scoff at this idea, let me say that I know you have more than three things to do. You may have a hundred things to do. But let’s be real folks, right now you are not doing any of them. So why not do just three? Get an index card and write down three things that you will do today. No more than three and no less than three. Start on the first thing on the list first. When the list is done, you throw away the card and make a new list. Think of the opportunities to celebrate and throw your hands in the air as you rip up the completed list. Focus brings success.
Using the power of focus you can identify your priorities. Your priorities are the things that you promised yourself or others that you would do. These are your main things and you must always keep the main things the main thing.
So right now, before you move to another blog or your next task, take out a card and write your list. Focus will get things done, but take an example from Carly, a lack of focus can be deadly.
Friday, March 04, 2005
We Are Better Together
My consulting practice consists of one person. I am the classic small business. I hold all of the relevant titles in my company. I am the CEO as well as head of the Shipping Department. I hold the dual positions of Inventory Clerk and Director of Information Technology. I author the work product that is generated here, and I also print, post, and mail all of the letters. I do it all.
Recently while writing a letter I found myself making repeated references to “we” in the letter. The letter included statements like “We will follow up with you within the next several days” or “We are happy to present to you this proposal.” Given the solitary nature of my work I had to stop and laugh at myself and wonder why this whole business of “we” was so essential to representing my abilities. Perhaps it is because I believe that “we” makes “us” sound so much more substantial. It is a sense that “we” can be trusted at a higher level than just “me.”
I realize that in the case of my business saying “we” will do something gives the impression that even if I should be unable to perform, there are other people that will step in and deliver on “our” commitments. There is a sense of comfort that comes with the knowledge that we are not just depending on only one person. I guess that each of us has had too many experiences where one person acting alone has let us down. For the most part that person is you.
We make promises and commitments to ourselves all of the time. More often than not, we quickly break those promises or commitments. Maybe you have not experienced this in your own life, but I have countless stories of getting ready to, would have, or should have. The problem in most of these cases was that I was dependent solely upon me to deliver.
It is said that there are three levels of personal maturity. The lowest level is the dependent level. The second level is the independent level, and the highest level is the inter-dependent level. I think that the stages of life help to explain this as we watch children grow from dependent (infant through toddler); independent (the pre-teen, teenage and young adult stages); to inter-dependent (adult stage). Of course I could add that as life goes on we once again return to the dependent stage, but that is another story. These stages don’t work perfectly for everyone but I think you get the idea.
At the inter-dependent stage we learn lessons in trust and accountability. We discover at this stage that we are not in this alone and that there are those around that can help us to “carry the load” and we identify with our “responsibility” to others. Achieving this level can yield enormous results.
I have found that one excellent way to build your inter-dependence is to develop an “accountability partner.” An accountability partner is a person that you trust to keep you accountable and on track in certain areas of your life. Trust is an important ingredient here because an accountability partner is not a drill sergeant. Their job is not to make you feel bad, but to provide encouragement. An accountability partner is a person with whom you are totally honest, and is also accountable to you.
I have accountability partners in several areas of my life. I find that in different areas it is sometimes best to have different partners. Let me describe how this might work for you. Let’s say that you have made a commitment to regular exercise. Your commitment is to work out three to five days each week. First you must communicate to your accountability partner what you have committed to do. The job of your partner is to keep you on track. If you have committed to early morning exercise, your partner would call you every morning to make sure you are out of bed. If you are lucky your partner may also attend your gym or other exercise facility. Then they can go along with you to keep you on track. The key to the relationship is honesty and trust.
An accountability partner understands that with any new commitment there will be occasional lapses. Here is where the role of your partner is crucial. Your partner’s job is to provide encouragement when you lapse. Positive reinforcement of your stated goals and affirmation about the success you will achieve are the clearest motivators to get you back on track. When lapses become more frequent then firm prodding becomes the role of your partner. If lapses become persistent, it is then that your partner can and should become your drill sergeant.
When choosing an accountability partner it is important that you choose someone that you trust. An accountability partner has an immense responsibility and they must commit to the job for the defined period. It is sometimes helpful when starting out to have an agreement of mutual accountability. In that way you too are responsible to your partner in the same way that they are responsible to you. Communication is a key ingredient. You must clearly define the goals you have set and your partner must clearly understand your expectations.
When you commit to another person that you trust you have the added benefit of knowing that someone other than you is looking out for your best interest. What is true of my clients is also true of you. Sometimes depending on just you to get the job done is not sufficient. You need to know that “we” can be counted on to deliver, when “I” am unable to perform. Together you and your partner can achieve levels of personal success and reach a state of inter-dependence that is not possible working alone.
Recently while writing a letter I found myself making repeated references to “we” in the letter. The letter included statements like “We will follow up with you within the next several days” or “We are happy to present to you this proposal.” Given the solitary nature of my work I had to stop and laugh at myself and wonder why this whole business of “we” was so essential to representing my abilities. Perhaps it is because I believe that “we” makes “us” sound so much more substantial. It is a sense that “we” can be trusted at a higher level than just “me.”
I realize that in the case of my business saying “we” will do something gives the impression that even if I should be unable to perform, there are other people that will step in and deliver on “our” commitments. There is a sense of comfort that comes with the knowledge that we are not just depending on only one person. I guess that each of us has had too many experiences where one person acting alone has let us down. For the most part that person is you.
We make promises and commitments to ourselves all of the time. More often than not, we quickly break those promises or commitments. Maybe you have not experienced this in your own life, but I have countless stories of getting ready to, would have, or should have. The problem in most of these cases was that I was dependent solely upon me to deliver.
It is said that there are three levels of personal maturity. The lowest level is the dependent level. The second level is the independent level, and the highest level is the inter-dependent level. I think that the stages of life help to explain this as we watch children grow from dependent (infant through toddler); independent (the pre-teen, teenage and young adult stages); to inter-dependent (adult stage). Of course I could add that as life goes on we once again return to the dependent stage, but that is another story. These stages don’t work perfectly for everyone but I think you get the idea.
At the inter-dependent stage we learn lessons in trust and accountability. We discover at this stage that we are not in this alone and that there are those around that can help us to “carry the load” and we identify with our “responsibility” to others. Achieving this level can yield enormous results.
I have found that one excellent way to build your inter-dependence is to develop an “accountability partner.” An accountability partner is a person that you trust to keep you accountable and on track in certain areas of your life. Trust is an important ingredient here because an accountability partner is not a drill sergeant. Their job is not to make you feel bad, but to provide encouragement. An accountability partner is a person with whom you are totally honest, and is also accountable to you.
I have accountability partners in several areas of my life. I find that in different areas it is sometimes best to have different partners. Let me describe how this might work for you. Let’s say that you have made a commitment to regular exercise. Your commitment is to work out three to five days each week. First you must communicate to your accountability partner what you have committed to do. The job of your partner is to keep you on track. If you have committed to early morning exercise, your partner would call you every morning to make sure you are out of bed. If you are lucky your partner may also attend your gym or other exercise facility. Then they can go along with you to keep you on track. The key to the relationship is honesty and trust.
An accountability partner understands that with any new commitment there will be occasional lapses. Here is where the role of your partner is crucial. Your partner’s job is to provide encouragement when you lapse. Positive reinforcement of your stated goals and affirmation about the success you will achieve are the clearest motivators to get you back on track. When lapses become more frequent then firm prodding becomes the role of your partner. If lapses become persistent, it is then that your partner can and should become your drill sergeant.
When choosing an accountability partner it is important that you choose someone that you trust. An accountability partner has an immense responsibility and they must commit to the job for the defined period. It is sometimes helpful when starting out to have an agreement of mutual accountability. In that way you too are responsible to your partner in the same way that they are responsible to you. Communication is a key ingredient. You must clearly define the goals you have set and your partner must clearly understand your expectations.
When you commit to another person that you trust you have the added benefit of knowing that someone other than you is looking out for your best interest. What is true of my clients is also true of you. Sometimes depending on just you to get the job done is not sufficient. You need to know that “we” can be counted on to deliver, when “I” am unable to perform. Together you and your partner can achieve levels of personal success and reach a state of inter-dependence that is not possible working alone.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
It's The Vision Thing Again
Things are not always as they appear. I believe that this is true because lately I have been walking around with my chin protruded and my nose up in the air. An outsider might easily mistake this posture as that of an overly puffed up or snobbish person. As I have said though, some things are not always as they appear to be. The reason for my frequent protruding chin and pointed nose is that I have had to adjust my posture in order to see things clearly. Pointing my chin and nose allows my bifocals to work properly. Like most persons my age I suffer from a condition called myopia.
I never imagined myself as a person that would need to remove his glasses to see something up close. Yet, I can’t thread a needle or remove a splinter with my glasses on. While I have not yet had to ask someone to read the check for me at a restaurant, I know that day is coming. Lately I tend to recognize more people by their voice as they approach before I can actually make out their face. Being unable to see things far away changes your perspective.
I know dozens of people my age and even older that have no problem with myopia. They have the ability to see off into the distance with a degree of clarity that would make the Hubble envious. In fact their far seeing ability exceeds that of most people. Some of these people have won awards for this ability, and one close friend of mine is the self proclaimed champion in this area with abilities bordering on the supernatural. Some of us would call those people “worriers.”
Worry is the exact opposite of being myopic. A person that worries possesses the ability to determine the results of future events. They can play them out in horrific detail. Champion worriers have an added ability. Simply through their worry they can change the future. I know several persons with such skill that they are required to focus all of their attention on their current worry just to make sure things don’t turn out as they fear. This is a solitary skill as really good worrying is best done alone. Occasionally worriers do gather together. I have often observed group meetings of worriers testing their skills as a group forecasting the future. It seems to me though that group worry is the least efficient as they never seem to forecast properly.
Worriers have incredible powers of recall. They tend to rely heavily upon their past experiences in order to project exactly how things are going to go in the future. Sometimes worriers use reference material. The most common form of reference is my “girlfriend’s friend’s co-worker”, who has suffered some horrible fate in the past. These references are of course irrefutable since the worriers’ code requires the protection of sources and these persons therefore remain nameless.
I once tried to take a picture of a worrier. This is something that no man has ever attempted in the past. Yet each attempt was met with failure as the worrier would always get away before I could snap my shot. It seems that worriers have an uncanny ability to quickly project themselves into the future before you can catch them in the moment.
I think that most worriers could use a bit of myopia. Those of us that suffer from this condition know that myopia causes us to focus on what is right in front of us. No matter how hard you try when you are myopic you can’t see far enough to worry about what is ahead. You just focus on what is in front and move along a little at a time. Myopia also makes you squint. We do this in order to see things just a bit differently. Usually just adjusting your perspective is all that you need. Everything suddenly becomes clearer.
Somehow the older I get the worse my vision becomes. I can’t see very far. But then I never could predict the future. I can only really grasp what is directly in front of me. My focus is keener as I direct my attention to the task at hand, just inching along a little at a time. I know that there are really big things out there looming on the horizon, but my eye is on the present. I don’t worry much these days. Perhaps it is just a vision thing. Maybe I just can’t see far enough to worry about what might be out there. I do however find myself squinting quite often. Just changing my perspective causes me to know that the fuzzy thing I see up ahead is probably not so bad, and maybe if I just focus on one little bit at a time, paying attention to what is right before my nose, things will work out.
Come to think of it this whole myopia thing is not so bad. I can’t see as far as I once did. In fact all that I can see now is this present moment. This is the moment that is happening right now as I sit here writing this. This moment will never change. I think I will just stay here and squint for a minute. Just changing my perspective that way things always seem so much clearer to me.
I never imagined myself as a person that would need to remove his glasses to see something up close. Yet, I can’t thread a needle or remove a splinter with my glasses on. While I have not yet had to ask someone to read the check for me at a restaurant, I know that day is coming. Lately I tend to recognize more people by their voice as they approach before I can actually make out their face. Being unable to see things far away changes your perspective.
I know dozens of people my age and even older that have no problem with myopia. They have the ability to see off into the distance with a degree of clarity that would make the Hubble envious. In fact their far seeing ability exceeds that of most people. Some of these people have won awards for this ability, and one close friend of mine is the self proclaimed champion in this area with abilities bordering on the supernatural. Some of us would call those people “worriers.”
Worry is the exact opposite of being myopic. A person that worries possesses the ability to determine the results of future events. They can play them out in horrific detail. Champion worriers have an added ability. Simply through their worry they can change the future. I know several persons with such skill that they are required to focus all of their attention on their current worry just to make sure things don’t turn out as they fear. This is a solitary skill as really good worrying is best done alone. Occasionally worriers do gather together. I have often observed group meetings of worriers testing their skills as a group forecasting the future. It seems to me though that group worry is the least efficient as they never seem to forecast properly.
Worriers have incredible powers of recall. They tend to rely heavily upon their past experiences in order to project exactly how things are going to go in the future. Sometimes worriers use reference material. The most common form of reference is my “girlfriend’s friend’s co-worker”, who has suffered some horrible fate in the past. These references are of course irrefutable since the worriers’ code requires the protection of sources and these persons therefore remain nameless.
I once tried to take a picture of a worrier. This is something that no man has ever attempted in the past. Yet each attempt was met with failure as the worrier would always get away before I could snap my shot. It seems that worriers have an uncanny ability to quickly project themselves into the future before you can catch them in the moment.
I think that most worriers could use a bit of myopia. Those of us that suffer from this condition know that myopia causes us to focus on what is right in front of us. No matter how hard you try when you are myopic you can’t see far enough to worry about what is ahead. You just focus on what is in front and move along a little at a time. Myopia also makes you squint. We do this in order to see things just a bit differently. Usually just adjusting your perspective is all that you need. Everything suddenly becomes clearer.
Somehow the older I get the worse my vision becomes. I can’t see very far. But then I never could predict the future. I can only really grasp what is directly in front of me. My focus is keener as I direct my attention to the task at hand, just inching along a little at a time. I know that there are really big things out there looming on the horizon, but my eye is on the present. I don’t worry much these days. Perhaps it is just a vision thing. Maybe I just can’t see far enough to worry about what might be out there. I do however find myself squinting quite often. Just changing my perspective causes me to know that the fuzzy thing I see up ahead is probably not so bad, and maybe if I just focus on one little bit at a time, paying attention to what is right before my nose, things will work out.
Come to think of it this whole myopia thing is not so bad. I can’t see as far as I once did. In fact all that I can see now is this present moment. This is the moment that is happening right now as I sit here writing this. This moment will never change. I think I will just stay here and squint for a minute. Just changing my perspective that way things always seem so much clearer to me.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
How Do You Spell Success?
If someone were to ask you today how do you define success what would you say? For me there was a time when success meant having an important title, a big house, and an expensive sports car. That is until I achieved these things.
There was a time in my life before our children were born when my sense of success and achievement in the world was measured by possessions. What company you worked for, what car you drove, and how you spent your vacation where common conversations among friends. Parties and other social events required just the right clothing, and it always helped if perhaps your clothing label or articles of jewelry reflected the latest trend. If you did not have all of the latest trends, you set goals to one day own a “Tag”, or you knew the answer to the question “if you could own a Bmer, which one would it be?”
Thinking back to those days I either knew the answers to the questions, or could flick the wrist to show that the question was meaningless. I stood among my peers as an equal. I had achieved the things that were worth achieving and therefore deserved my place in the crowd. That was then.
Life has a way of changing our sense of what matters most. The birth of the twins gradually changed my sense of values. Unlike what I hear so many say, I did not change that moment in the delivery room. No, for me the process took several years. Still, I remember when the change began.
One Sunday morning I decided to take my family out for brunch and a nice Sunday drive in my new sports car. It was a beautiful spring day, not quite warm enough to put the top down in the car, but the sun was shining. The boys were somewhere between two and three years old. The boys got their usual breakfast which consisted of waffles and fruit, eggs and orange juice. We finished our meal and then took off on our Sunday drive. We were about three miles from the restaurant when one of our sons announced that his stomach hurt. With no safe place to stop the car I asked him if he thought he could hold on for a short time. He never had a chance to answer the question.
Every parent has a story about the inconvenient times that their child decided to relieve themselves of a bothersome meal. Every working parent has shown up at a meeting with stains representing at least one of the major food groups. We accept this as a badge of honor awarded to parents. If you are lucky the stain comes out, and you go on until the next event. Yet, there is something about the combination of waffle syrup, eggs, and orange juice that has the ability to remove the finish from most metals, and can change the color of carpeting forever. My son’s mishap in the back of my new sports car left a permanent reminder.
As I think back on that day now I remember my first concern being for the welfare of my son. I pulled the car over as quickly as I could in order to make sure that he was alright. Once I was assured that this was just a singular event probably caused by being in the back seat of a low slung car, I looked to see the damage. But what I felt in side was not what I expected. Suddenly this all seemed so trivial. A possession that I wanted for most of my adult life was suddenly to me nothing more than a car, and not the label that was emblazoned on the hood.
That day in the sports car was not an epiphany. However it marked the beginning of a process. I did not abandon my sense of possessions and status at that one defining moment. There would be many more years and many more moments before I would finally find my V.O.I.C.E. But on that spring day, with my young child, I saw that for him everything was right with the world. He had a smile on his face and wanted to know if we were still going to take our drive. We cleaned up the car, and back on the road we went enjoying the sunshine, and I enjoyed my new sense that I was not as happy with my possessions as I was with the joy of the road with my family.
A year later we sold that great sports car. I still take drives with the boys except that now it is on a scooter as we run errands on Saturday morning. With the scooter the top is always down, and the air is fresh. I think back to the days of the sports car and how complicated life was then. Perhaps by common standards I was more successful then than I am now. But for me I have found success in working every day to find my place in the world doing what I love. I still own a nice watch, and I have an appreciation for a well made automobile. These things are great, they just don't make you happy. I still enjoy a ride in a nice car. But now it is because of the company I keep. There are watches that keep impeccable time, and now I use them to count the hours until I will again be with those that I love. Things are just things now and people matter matter most.
My sons often ask if I would ever like to own that sports car again some day. Maybe some day I will but the reason will be different. Once the car made me proud and was evidence of my success. Today, I am a proud dad, and my success is reflected in the character of my children.
There was a time in my life before our children were born when my sense of success and achievement in the world was measured by possessions. What company you worked for, what car you drove, and how you spent your vacation where common conversations among friends. Parties and other social events required just the right clothing, and it always helped if perhaps your clothing label or articles of jewelry reflected the latest trend. If you did not have all of the latest trends, you set goals to one day own a “Tag”, or you knew the answer to the question “if you could own a Bmer, which one would it be?”
Thinking back to those days I either knew the answers to the questions, or could flick the wrist to show that the question was meaningless. I stood among my peers as an equal. I had achieved the things that were worth achieving and therefore deserved my place in the crowd. That was then.
Life has a way of changing our sense of what matters most. The birth of the twins gradually changed my sense of values. Unlike what I hear so many say, I did not change that moment in the delivery room. No, for me the process took several years. Still, I remember when the change began.
One Sunday morning I decided to take my family out for brunch and a nice Sunday drive in my new sports car. It was a beautiful spring day, not quite warm enough to put the top down in the car, but the sun was shining. The boys were somewhere between two and three years old. The boys got their usual breakfast which consisted of waffles and fruit, eggs and orange juice. We finished our meal and then took off on our Sunday drive. We were about three miles from the restaurant when one of our sons announced that his stomach hurt. With no safe place to stop the car I asked him if he thought he could hold on for a short time. He never had a chance to answer the question.
Every parent has a story about the inconvenient times that their child decided to relieve themselves of a bothersome meal. Every working parent has shown up at a meeting with stains representing at least one of the major food groups. We accept this as a badge of honor awarded to parents. If you are lucky the stain comes out, and you go on until the next event. Yet, there is something about the combination of waffle syrup, eggs, and orange juice that has the ability to remove the finish from most metals, and can change the color of carpeting forever. My son’s mishap in the back of my new sports car left a permanent reminder.
As I think back on that day now I remember my first concern being for the welfare of my son. I pulled the car over as quickly as I could in order to make sure that he was alright. Once I was assured that this was just a singular event probably caused by being in the back seat of a low slung car, I looked to see the damage. But what I felt in side was not what I expected. Suddenly this all seemed so trivial. A possession that I wanted for most of my adult life was suddenly to me nothing more than a car, and not the label that was emblazoned on the hood.
That day in the sports car was not an epiphany. However it marked the beginning of a process. I did not abandon my sense of possessions and status at that one defining moment. There would be many more years and many more moments before I would finally find my V.O.I.C.E. But on that spring day, with my young child, I saw that for him everything was right with the world. He had a smile on his face and wanted to know if we were still going to take our drive. We cleaned up the car, and back on the road we went enjoying the sunshine, and I enjoyed my new sense that I was not as happy with my possessions as I was with the joy of the road with my family.
A year later we sold that great sports car. I still take drives with the boys except that now it is on a scooter as we run errands on Saturday morning. With the scooter the top is always down, and the air is fresh. I think back to the days of the sports car and how complicated life was then. Perhaps by common standards I was more successful then than I am now. But for me I have found success in working every day to find my place in the world doing what I love. I still own a nice watch, and I have an appreciation for a well made automobile. These things are great, they just don't make you happy. I still enjoy a ride in a nice car. But now it is because of the company I keep. There are watches that keep impeccable time, and now I use them to count the hours until I will again be with those that I love. Things are just things now and people matter matter most.
My sons often ask if I would ever like to own that sports car again some day. Maybe some day I will but the reason will be different. Once the car made me proud and was evidence of my success. Today, I am a proud dad, and my success is reflected in the character of my children.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
The Brain Diet
For the past several days now I have been sputtering about. What seems to be happening is that my brain is not firing on all cylinders. This is probably not noticeable to most people around me and in fact may be viewed by some to be my normal state. I have been known to miss a beat every now and again. But this is something much more noticeable to me. There seems to be an absence of thought.
I really noticed this yesterday when I had a difficult time concentrating on a writing task. Even simple email messages were not written well. I needed to understand what the possible cause could be for such a problem. I needed to find answers, but realized that even answers are hard to come by when I find myself in this state. What I was experiencing was a mental malaise. I observed no other physical signs of trouble. Everything else seemed to be fine and in good working order.
When I experience a problem physically I usually try to think back to the events of the several days prior. A pain in the shoulder perhaps is related to the shoulder workout of two days ago when maybe I pushed too hard. The upset stomach at 2:00 in the morning can be traced back to the bowl of ice cream and Oreo cookies that I could not resist at 9:30. The dryness in my mouth can be quickly traced back to the unopened water bottles on my desk, and the empty third cup of coffee. But this brain drain, now that is something completely different.
After thinking about this for a little while the answer suddenly occurred to me. This was in itself a total surprise given my depleted mental state. Looking back over the weekend and the latter part of last week I had been starving my brain of nutrition. It all started with Friday when I spent the better part of the day lifting boxes and moving tables to set up for a non-profit fund raiser. The physical exhaustion from that activity caused me to just veg out on Friday night eating pizza, and way too much Coke. Then came Saturday, and more toting and bailing for the same fund raiser as we approached crunch time. The food was even worse of Saturday, Wendy’s for lunch, chicken wings and more Coke for dinner. Mentally I did even less. I sat in front of the television watching Pitt lose to Connecticut, and the movie Tomb Raider. I even stayed up late with the boys to play video games.
Sunday was more of the same. There was more basketball, movies, scanning the newspaper and searching on eBay. By Monday morning my brain was totally out of gas. Running on fumes I wrote several email messages, prepared a document for a client, and attended a lunch meeting.
Sometimes we kid ourselves into thinking that we can get by reading the newspaper or an occasional monthly magazine. These are really the intellectual equivalent of a Snickers bar. They are full of sugar and offer no nutritional value. What I need is the good stuff found in books. Exposure to ideas and thoughts is the fuel that really makes the brain work. A unique turn of a phrase, a witty quote, or a profound statement read over and over again and then pondered as I think about its meaning and implication. That for me is soul food.
Our world is so full of seductions that rob the brain of needed nutrition. A comfortable chair in front of the television can be like a dozen Krispy Creme doughnuts. Before you know it they are all gone, and you wonder what made you do that. Books on the other hand excite. They engage the brain in a way that is lasting. Every time I read I learn something new. I enjoy sharing what I learn with others (which are not the case with the doughnuts). I can sometimes devour two in a week and they never make me feel fat. Books produce ideas, they inspire and they encourage.
Walking through downtown Pittsburgh yesterday I realized that there are few people missing meals here. But there were only twelve people in the downtown library. Perhaps we need to miss a meal and feed the brain. I started feeding mine again yesterday and the benefits were immediate. Perhaps you too would like to begin feeding your brain. Why not try out my diet plan that is outlined here: Reading Diet
I fell off of my diet this past weekend, but it feels good now to be back on track. Now I have to finish a book report that I owe to someone.
I really noticed this yesterday when I had a difficult time concentrating on a writing task. Even simple email messages were not written well. I needed to understand what the possible cause could be for such a problem. I needed to find answers, but realized that even answers are hard to come by when I find myself in this state. What I was experiencing was a mental malaise. I observed no other physical signs of trouble. Everything else seemed to be fine and in good working order.
When I experience a problem physically I usually try to think back to the events of the several days prior. A pain in the shoulder perhaps is related to the shoulder workout of two days ago when maybe I pushed too hard. The upset stomach at 2:00 in the morning can be traced back to the bowl of ice cream and Oreo cookies that I could not resist at 9:30. The dryness in my mouth can be quickly traced back to the unopened water bottles on my desk, and the empty third cup of coffee. But this brain drain, now that is something completely different.
After thinking about this for a little while the answer suddenly occurred to me. This was in itself a total surprise given my depleted mental state. Looking back over the weekend and the latter part of last week I had been starving my brain of nutrition. It all started with Friday when I spent the better part of the day lifting boxes and moving tables to set up for a non-profit fund raiser. The physical exhaustion from that activity caused me to just veg out on Friday night eating pizza, and way too much Coke. Then came Saturday, and more toting and bailing for the same fund raiser as we approached crunch time. The food was even worse of Saturday, Wendy’s for lunch, chicken wings and more Coke for dinner. Mentally I did even less. I sat in front of the television watching Pitt lose to Connecticut, and the movie Tomb Raider. I even stayed up late with the boys to play video games.
Sunday was more of the same. There was more basketball, movies, scanning the newspaper and searching on eBay. By Monday morning my brain was totally out of gas. Running on fumes I wrote several email messages, prepared a document for a client, and attended a lunch meeting.
Sometimes we kid ourselves into thinking that we can get by reading the newspaper or an occasional monthly magazine. These are really the intellectual equivalent of a Snickers bar. They are full of sugar and offer no nutritional value. What I need is the good stuff found in books. Exposure to ideas and thoughts is the fuel that really makes the brain work. A unique turn of a phrase, a witty quote, or a profound statement read over and over again and then pondered as I think about its meaning and implication. That for me is soul food.
Our world is so full of seductions that rob the brain of needed nutrition. A comfortable chair in front of the television can be like a dozen Krispy Creme doughnuts. Before you know it they are all gone, and you wonder what made you do that. Books on the other hand excite. They engage the brain in a way that is lasting. Every time I read I learn something new. I enjoy sharing what I learn with others (which are not the case with the doughnuts). I can sometimes devour two in a week and they never make me feel fat. Books produce ideas, they inspire and they encourage.
Walking through downtown Pittsburgh yesterday I realized that there are few people missing meals here. But there were only twelve people in the downtown library. Perhaps we need to miss a meal and feed the brain. I started feeding mine again yesterday and the benefits were immediate. Perhaps you too would like to begin feeding your brain. Why not try out my diet plan that is outlined here: Reading Diet
I fell off of my diet this past weekend, but it feels good now to be back on track. Now I have to finish a book report that I owe to someone.
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