What Do You Do

While listening to an interview recently with actor and singer Harry Connick Jr. the interviewer asked him why he took some of the risks that he took. He said that he took those risks to do different things to serve his art. His specific comment was "I am an artist." Connick has gained fame with his live and recorded music, his appearances in movies and on stage in Broadway plays. He has considerable range and easily could choose to be called an actor or a singer or a musician. When asked though he calls himself an artist and he relates what he does to serving his art.

I have noticed that when asked the question "What do you do?" most people give a long answer. Few seem to be satisfied (this could be the person asking or the person responding) with simple roles such as I am a Dad, or Mom. Even those with significant titles in the corporate world don't just respond by saying I am an executive or a C.O.O. Rather they go on to tell you what type of executive or the name of their company and what the company does. It is almost as though the one word answer is never enough and that perhaps it does not cause them to seem significant.

I also find it interesting that this question of what do you do comes up frequently in social settings where it appears, at least to me, that what you do does not really matter at the time. While attending a picnic this past weekend at the home of a friend I was asked several times by people that I had just met what I did. I decided to try out a number of different answers to see how they would go over. To one person I said I am Max and Alex's dad. To another person while holding a fishing rod in my hand I was very tempted to say "I fish" but felt that the answer would seem like I was being a jerk. This particular person really wanted to know what my job was and in particular I realized that he really wanted to know what I did for the host of the party as many people there were employees of my friend's company. I finally answered his question by saying that I am a consultant. I quickly added that I was a consultant for FranklinCovey which caused him to have a knowing look on his face and he responded as do so many "oh so you work for the planner people." This conversation became even more interesting when he asked my wife what she did. There was a moment of awkwardness until I responded "she is in transition." This answer was accurate from my viewpoint as I believe that Tonyia is at the stage in life where she is transitioning from being a stay at home mother to our twin sons, to a place where she once again finds her independent place in the world doing something that matters to her.

Going back to the Harry Connick interview, at one point Connick was asked what he thought about one of the characters from the reality television show Jersey Shore.  He was asking about Snookie. Connick replied with the question "What does she do?" The interviewer was stumped. After fumbling for a while he replied that she "makes a spectacle of herself." Connick pressed further and asked but what does she do? The point he was making was that sometimes people gain fame and even fortune for essentially doing nothing. Harry Connick said that to perform his art he works very hard, studies and rehearses to perfect the art. He seemed to be wondering while admitting that he does not know Snookie, whether or not she had to work at making a spectacle of herself. He was wondering whether or not getting drunk and into fights required rehearsing. I began to think in that moment that the question what do you do is far more important than we have ever thought.

The answer to the question what do you do is intended to define you. While I admit that often times it is used to rank people and determine your status I would like to think that the answer is more important to you than it is to the person asking. What do you do? The answer permits us to tell others about what matters most in our lives. What do you do? The answer tells me what I am willing to sacrifice for, commit to, and to dedicate my finest energies to achieving.

There is a wonderful opportunity when someone asks us what we do. We should take the time to really know what we do because in knowing what we do we know what matters to us. The answer to what you do is the answer to who you really are. Perhaps the answer requires more than one word. Or maybe your answer is that you are "in transition."

You know as I think about it I think I know what Snookie does. She is Snookie.