Do You Like What You See

I am fortunate in that my writing is inspired. Note that I did not necessarily say that my writing is inspiring, but rather I am suggesting that what I write on a typical day is inspired by the words of others or the things I observe. This post was inspired by my younger brother as I had a chance to listen to a talk he gave recently.

My brother is a Teaching Pastor at a large church in Cincinnati. What he now calls talks we would have referred to as preaching when we were growing up. Yet, having listened to many of my brother's talks, I would be very hard pressed to actually call it preaching as that is not what he does (and I for one am so grateful about that). My brother's talks certainly have a biblical message and are designed to help us to improve our life and our living from an eternal perspective. It is so opposed to the literal shouting we grew up with as the preacher would in essence try to shout, scream or sing you into being convinced about whatever they were speaking about at the time. My brother uses a primarily calm voice, well articulated ideas and a flow that one can easily follow. Last week he was speaking about a biblical story of a lame man who sat by a pool for over 30 years hoping to be healed of his affliction. As the story unfolds the man becomes hopeful upon seeing Jesus that he will be healed. Instead of miraculously healing the man Jesus ask him an important question. The question was "Do you want to be healed?"

The analogy my brother drew was that this man had the power all along to heal his own affliction. Put another way the worst thing that could have been done for this man would have been to heal him as had he been healed he never would have been aware of his own power. This man would have simply remained in his own way blocking himself from the very thing he said that he wanted (which was to get in the pool and be healed).

I was inspired by my brother's talk as I thought of how often it is that we in effect block our ability to get better. Whether that means getting past self doubt, fear, or even many physical ailments we experience. We have the power to make changes in our lives just as did the man by the pool but rather than make changes we just sit beside the pool waiting for someone else to take us in. We make excuses for years about why we can not get the thing we want but never hold ourselves accountable.

There is a line in one of my favorite Mary J. Blige songs which goes "I like what I see when I'm looking at me as I'm walking past the mirror" (inspired once again). As I thought about this I wondered how many people would say that. So many people are unhappy with what they see looking back at them yet those same people would not put in the effort to change what they see. For some it might be as simple as loving themselves more so that they do appreciate who and what they are. For others it might require the hard work of making tough life changes so that they can see something different. In both cases the only thing that is keeping them from seeing something they like is they themselves. Yet, like the man at the pool they just make excuses.
John Wooden, the former Basketball coach of the UCLA Bruins was famous for saying "the worst thing we can do for those we love are the things that they should and could do for themselves.". I quote this often as a reminder that we should help people to get out of their own way by commanding that they do more for themselves.

As I prepared for a trip this morning I walked past my full length mirror many times. I did not see a world class athlete, a business mogul, a rock star or even a very young man. What I saw was the father, consultant, partner, son and friend that I am. I saw a guy that works hard almost every day at getting better. I like that guy and I am glad that I got out of his way many years ago. Now I am recommending that you get out of your way. You already have all that you need to do whatever you need or want to do. Start doing it right now.

Running Your Race at a Different Pace

Sometimes I hear words that for whatever reason tend to resonate with me.  Often I will hear the same word repeated over and over again in conversations with different people.  When that happens I tend to spend a bit more time thinking about the word.  Today the word that I heard or thought of a number of times before I started writing this is "pace."  

Today is one of those days when the outside temperature was at 80 when I was having a cup of tea.  The weather forecaster said that was our low for the day.  My early plan was to spend time outside writing today but realized after a few moments that it was too hot to sit outside.  I also realized that I would need to adjust my pace for the day  

As a runner I find that I am often very focused on pace.  When I run I pay considerable attention to the pace at which I am running often making minor adjustments to either go faster or to  slow down.  Sometimes I see my pace and reconcile that with the way I feel.  At other times I become aware of my pace and I am surprised that I am either going  too slow or on rare occasions going too fast.  Almost always when I become aware of pace I make some sort of adjustment.  Rarely do I just accept the information.

I think that being a runner makes me more aware of pace than most people.  Runners have a an internal clock that tells us what we are doing and makes us acutely aware of how we are feeling.  I am not so sure that non-runners have this mechanism.  That is unfortunate as I find that a keen awareness of pace would serve everyone well.  I sometimes watch my friends and colleagues approaching burn out simply because they find themselves "running" too fast with the things they are doing.  Or I listen to friends that describe their planned activities which include far too many things that they are cramming in to their day.  I even wonder in amazement when I see parents that are running all over the place moving their children from one activity to the next while complaining that they are too busy.  I think that in all of these cases people are not very aware of their pace.  

When I was growing up we talked about summertime as a time of "easy living."  The pace was expected to be slower, the days lazier and the focus was on enjoying life.  Now we are trying to get the kids into a summer program that will improve their skills in one area or another, we take summer courses to enhance our own skills, and what we used to call summer driving is not to a vacation spot but rather it is from activity to activity.  I think we are just failing to pay attention to the pace.

I wonder what we would be doing today or this weekend if we were to view it from a lens of how we might feel about it ten years from now.  Would we make the same commitments?  Would we run around doing the things that are right now stressing us out?  Would we rather have taken the time to enjoy a lunch with a friend or coffee with a loved one just enjoying the sun or sitting in park?  

This weekend as we head into the holiday next week let's be more aware of our pace.  Perhaps you want to run the next half of your personal race a bit slower than the last one.  Or at least take a small piece of time to just slow down.  The weather across the country presents an excellent opportunity.  You will not be perceived as a slacker if you do nothing in the heat.  But call this a practice session to a slower pace.  Commit to slowing down this summer.  Life really is not a race and there is no prize given for being the person that finishes life first.  

This post is the shortest I have written in a while.  The reason is that I am watching my pace.   

Counting Counts

Photo Courtesy of Skidder from Flickr

I have realized lately that I have long been preoccupied with counting.  Perhaps this makes me not very different from most people as we live in a world where we count things for a variety of reasons.  In business we count things like revenue and profit.  Our sense is that the more you have (the higher the count) the better off you are.  On a personal level we have come to see the american obsession of counting our weight (here the less you have the better off you are) or counting our calories (trying to stay below 2,000 calories per day so that we can lower our overall weight).  My sense is that no matter your station in life you are involved in some sort of count.  

I think that counting is a wonderful thing.  It really does help us to keep track.  At sporting events we count the scoreboard.  Our hope is that our team has the higher score.  We count our consumption of certain substances (I am not functioning yet as I have only had one cup of coffee today), or we count the hours (just three more hours to go before this day ends).  We do spend a great deal of our time in some sort of count.

As I have been thinking about this the idea of counting can have three very positive impacts on our behavior.  First, counting promotes discipline (think calorie counting), second, counting is motivational (just 5 more pushups to reach my goal today), and finally, counting is rhythmic, (it takes me about 15 minutes before I get into my groove).  We can harness these three attributes of counting to mold our existing behavior patterns and also to create new patterns.  What follows are my thoughts about how to best accomplish this:

Counting promotes discipline.  When we engage in a count we have a clear sense of what we want to achieve.  We set out with a clearly defined goal and our desire and intent is to achieve that goal.  Whether the goal is large or small is not important.  Once you set the goal to a specific count you want to achieve that number.  You gain a heightened sense of awareness of the count.  Counts of this type are best set in the form of weekly goals.  As an example perhaps you want to limit calories for the week.  This is much easier than perhaps daily calorie consumption as you have the whole week to achieve the number.  As you visit the count each day you can make behavior adjustments as necessary.  In this way a goal is viewed as far more likely to be achieved as you have seven chances to stay on course.

Counting is motivational.  Counts can motivate us.  In this example once you commit to achieving a specific count you become highly motivated to achieve the desired result.  I have been wearing a Nike FuelBand for a little over a month now.  The band tracks an algorithm created by Nike that measures Fuel achieved per day.  While a Fuel number in and of itself is meaningless, once you begin to wear the band you want to achieve the  daily Fuel goal you set.  My goal is 2,000 Fuel points per day.  As an example of how these points are tracked a three mile run for me is about 1,100 Fuel points.  In order to achieve my daily goal of 2,000 points I need to run as well as remain physically active throughout the day.  The fact that I am in pursuit of this goal keeps me mindful of my activities.  I stand as often as I can (I am writing this post while standing at my desk) and take the stairs and walk throughout the day to achieve the goal I set.  While there are days that I don’t achieve my goal, most days I am highly motivated to reach the goal of 2,000.  Since I started wearing the band my longest streak of reaching 2,000 points is 13 days in a row.  During that streak I recall one day when I needed to walk about half a mile at the end of the day to reach my goal.  Even though I was tired the half mile walk was motivating and I was really glad that I kept the streak alive.  Just as a point of reference the streak ended yesterday when I only achieved 1,100 points on my day off when I did not run or work and just sat around.  After suffering through that disappointment I am however back on track today having already achieved 1,881 points before 11:00am.

A count is rhythmic.  When I run I am aware that I run faster the longer I run.  In running language this is called a reverse split.  I keep a count of my pace every half mile.  No matter how slowly I run at the beginning of my run I know that the pace is going to get faster the longer I go.  In a five mile run I will typically improve by as much as one minute per mile.  I sense the rhythm of this as I feel the pace change.  I can hear my footsteps and become aware of the shift in cadence.  Throughout my runs I generally know when I am running even slightly faster or slightly slower than before.  This rhythm helps me to stay focused and on pace for the run.  The per mile split is the count that I can feel.

You might want to consider how you use counts in your day to day.  Perhaps your job requires you to make a certain number of calls per day or produce a certain quantity of something.  Maybe you set a reading goal of half a book every week which translates to so many pages read every day.  But whatever endeavors you are pursuing, know that counting really does count.  I set a goal for myself this year to learn a new language.  I have not yet assigned a count to that goal and it is lagging behind terribly.  This week I am assigning a count to that goal and I expect that the results are going to improve.  

One final thought.  Whatever you are counting you must be willing to share your count with your friends.  I use Facebook to post my counts.  Every run I post the results on FB.  Only a few of my family members, friends and colleagues even pay attention to those counts but I know that the few that do are there cheering me on.  Why not take a minute and post something that really matters on your FaceBook account today.  Post something that you are counting.  If we are already friends and I see your post you can COUNT on me cheering you on.  

By the way, I am counting one blog posting a week.  Right on target.

225 Pushups Per Week

Photo Courtesy of SheepGuardingLlama from Flickr

I have been working on a small experiment around achieving personal goals and making the goal a habit.  But before I share the technique, perhaps a back story is appropriate.  

Last year while training for a marathon I broke my foot.  The broken foot took running out of my fitness equation for months and I was looking for something else that I could do to at least stay in some form of being in shape.  In my search I came across an idea about doing 100 pushups per day.  Having never reached such a goal I decided that this might be an appropriate fitness goal for me.  I reached that goal last August and remember telling a work colleague about how proud I was about being able to do 100 pushups in 5 sets.  Shortly after I reached the goal (I ultimately achieved 107 pushups) I stopped doing pushups as a part of my fitness regimen.  As the months have rolled by quickly since last August I have had various challenges to keeping my fitness regimen.  When I was able to add distance running back in my routine I found myself experiencing various foot problems related to the break.  I would stop and start always ending with pain or minor injury.  Finally, in frustration, I took time to reevaluate my situation.  I first had to come to grips with the painful reality that I am not as young as I once was but also that the foot injury was a direct result of not taking things in moderation.  My break was as a direct result of over training, and putting on too many miles far too quickly.  I was also running too fast for my level of fitness always pushing harder with little appropriate rest.  A month or so ago I finally got it.  I recognized that I really needed to add moderation, pace, and rest to my schedule.  While this likely makes a great deal of sense to most people it is not the process I have followed traditionally.  I felt that getting fit was about running harder, pushing further and not stopping.  I know differently now.

In order to get back to comfortably running distance I set myself on a path to running just 15 miles per week while making sure that I ran 5 times each week.  For a regular runner 15 miles per week over 5 runs is not very much running.  Of course this is really just 3 miles per day.  The point however was not the number of miles per day but rather getting to a place where I could know that I would consistently run 5 days per week.  I recognized that over time the miles would add up but while getting back to 5 days per week I would allow my foot to adjust to the frequency of running and recovery.  At the same time I was recreating the running habit for me.  

One of the challenges I have usually faced when I run regularly is that I don’t feel that I have time for any exercise beyond running.  This means for me that the running causes me to lose muscle as well as fat.  This year I wanted to make sure that as I got my running pace back that I would also get my strength back to the level where it was last summer.  I really wanted to get back to 100 pushups per day.  Suddenly an idea came to me that really is an interpretation of something I heard from another runner (credit to Laurel Youse).  She said “no matter how slow or how far you run you are lapping everyone else that is not running at all.”  I trust that I have faithfully translated Laurel’s quote but it caused me to realize something.  In order to convert my desire to build strength and muscle in addition to aerobic fitness I needed to develop a new habit.  My running 5 days per week is part of my running habit but I did not have a strength habit.  Laurel’s quote also reminded me that it did not matter how small you start.  

Just over a month ago I set out to do 40 pushups in a week.  I recall telling that story while giving a presentation recently.  During a break a man walked up to me and said “you were really joking about 40 pushups per week right?”  He went on to say “you really can do more than 40 pushups in a week right?”  My response to him was of course I could do more than 40 pushups in a week but that prior to setting that goal I was not doing 40 pushups per week.  I also asked him how many pushups he was doing each week.  His response was zero.  right then I realized that I was on to something.  My 40 pushups per week were actually lapping his zero pushups per week.  Since I set my 40 pushups per week goal a little over a month ago I have consistently been doing a growing number of pushups each week.  Last week I successfully accomplished 210 pushups while maintaining my distance running schedule.  The goal for this week is 225 pushups which means just 32 pushups per day with one day requiring 33 pushups assuming that I do this every day (which has been my habit these past few weeks).

Here is why this has worked for me.  First, I started small with a goal that I knew I could easily achieve while establishing the habit.  Next, I increased the number weekly using last week’s performance as my guage.  If the number felt too easy I increased the weekly goal.  Finally, I worried less about the total than I did about the habit.  The key has been in establishing a habit of daily activity to achieve a new goal.

So here is the question.  Do you have something you have been putting off?  Perhaps my plan will help.  Set a goal today that you want to reach.  Make the goal so small that you would be hard pressed to actually fail but still spread the goal out over the course of a week.  Don’t exceed your goal that first week or for a while as you build your new habit.  You will be amazed by what happens.  

I want to hear your comments and I want to know your goals.  Next I will write about how you can track your goals and perhaps how you might use public accountability to keep you focused (think Facebook).

My Technology Based Productivity System

Photo By:  FotoBart

A colleague posed a question to me recently.  She asked “Is there an app that we can use that is true to FranklinCovey’s Time Management methodology?”  The quick answer is no, at least based on my research.  There are any number of apps that help you to accomplish parts of the methodology, but nothing that is a complete system.  The question caused me to begin to think about what I have been teaching these past six years and how I have personally adapted my own planning tools to accommodate my planning needs but also to help me to be able to teach FranklinCovey’s Time Management concepts with integrity.  

For those perhaps unfamiliar with FranklinCovey’s Time Management concepts, let me first summarize them here.  The method I am describing is based on the Franklin Planner.  The planner has been the planning tool for individuals world wide for more than 25 years.  While there remains a significant number of users of this powerful tool, in my work I often encounter individuals that will say “I used to use a Franklin Planner but then I bought this.”  At this point the person is always holding up and waving a smartphone of some type and explaining that they are now using a digital system. Usually after a few questions though they admit that their system is lacking a number of features that they could use. 

The FranklinCovey methodology is based upon the combined work of both Stephen Covey and Hyrum Smith.  At the core of the system is a view that we want to achieve meaningful if not extraordinary results in both our professional and private lives.  The view is that our lives are an indivisible whole and that we are incapable of effectively and completely separating the two.  Put simply, we do work at home and we sometimes do personal things at work.  So the system asks us to be clear about what we view as our mission.  From a clear sense of mission one can develop a number of roles that are defined by that mission.  The roles are varied, they cover our work/personal lives and serve as a reference point whereby we can ask ourselves about our performance in each individual area.

Once the core concept of mission/roles is established the methodology then uses a weekly and daily planning approach that acts as the rudder of the system.  The system is then complimented with a note taking approach and filing system.  While this is a very broad summarization of the methodology, it describes the essence for our purposes here.

I believe in this approach as an effective method to assure that you stay focused on accomplishing those things that are important to you.  And yet while I remain true to the approach, the technology tools I use have caused me to long ago abandon a Franklin Planner.  I am upfront and unapologetic about this.  I have adapted a system that is dependent upon the technology tools I prefer to use, but my approach to FranklinCovey’s Time Management methodology is what I consider to be “Tool Agnostic.”  By this I mean that given one’s tool preferences you can employ the methodology using whatever set of tools suits your individual preferences.  What follows is my approach:

The foundation of my system is my view that you must decide how you will handle all incoming information.  This is an expansion of FranklinCovey’s Core Four concept.  In that concept it is assumed that information may be translated into four distinct areas.  These are Tasks, Notes and Documents, Calendar entries or Contacts.  While I agree with this concept I view it from a three part perspective.  My three parts are what I refer to as Capture Systems, Processing Systems, and finally Synchronization Systems.  Your developed planning system must contemplate all three.  I would describe each of these systems as follows:

Capture Systems:  This is the preferred system you use to capture incoming information whether that information is digital, verbal, or thoughts/ideas.  The key to this is to develop a consistent system for capturing all types of information.  As an example, I use Evernote as my place for capturing ideas, thoughts and information that comes to me digitally (usually via news feeds or blogs).  For email I use Gmail.  It is my view that this is one of the most robust email systems available.  The storage space is substantial (for about $50 per year I have email storage of 25gb plus cloud storage of 100gb for files).  Within Gmail I can employ drag and drop techniques and shortcuts to process information.  But the real power of Gmail for me is the ability to search email extensively.  Further, Gmail provides cloud storage of information which is then easily accessed on every device I use (MacBook, iPhone, iPad and still a BlackBerry).  I also have one bit of old tech that is a significant part of my capture system.  I use a simple Moleskine hard cover notebook which is indexed in a manner similar to a Franklin Planner.  I still take hand written notes and I make no attempt to digitize those notes as the index makes my notebook fully searchable.  Also, I can still write notes in all environments where using an electronic tool is either inefficient or impractical.

Processing Systems:  Processing requires the development of a series of habits.  Here I think action.  The actions are condensed to a few key verbs.  They are Delete, Do, and File (Delete is my favorite).  I add to these verbs a certain amount of automated processes which are rules and labels.  This sorts and processes information as it arrives saving time but also providing visual clues when needed.  Again, sorting and processing without having to open the email is the key.  The Processing System essentially causes you to handle all incoming information just once whenever possible.

Synchronization Systems:  Synchronization makes everything work.  Through synchronization you eliminate the need to input information multiple times.  Here you must decide what will be the method you choose to make sure that everything is in every place.  You may have multiple synchronization systems as long as you can avoid duplicates.  To synchronize the Core Four noted above I use iCloud.  iCloud also synchronizes with Reqall which is where I tend to create and track tasks.  Evernote is my second synchronization system as I can access information maintained there on any of my devices and they remain synchronized at all times.  My final synchronization system is Google which connects to my Google Drive, iCloud, and Reqall.  I rely on this to move information so that I can see it on all of my tools.  

Finally, I add to all of this a significant use of Cloud services.  I use DropBox, Google Drive and Box.net as my Cloud storage systems.  I have about 250gb of storage space in the cloud using each service differently for certain types of information and files.  The cost are not insignificant at this point but will likely fall over time.  All of these services have free storage usually in the range of 2gb or higher.  Generally, for many people the free storage is more than enough.  My High School age sons just use their free Box.net storage which is adequate for their school needs.

I still work from a core and perhaps foundational belief that you must determine what is important to you (your mission) and from your mission you must identify your most important roles that will help you to fulfill that mission.  After that it is simply a matter of deciding what tools and technology you will use to get it all done.  I would love to hear your comments about how you do this.  

Finding Legacy in Simple Acts

I don't necessarily like award shows. But like so many of us I was somewhat compelled last night to watch the music awards to see and hear what the music industry would say in tribute to Whitney Houston. I anticipated that I would hear about her legacy and I expected that there would be moments where I would hear some of her music. I did not stay awake for the entire show and as a result I only heard one tribute. That was the prayer read by LL Cool J. While he seemed to hit the right notes in his brief prayer, what struck me most was his statement where he thanked God for giving us Whitney, and he indicated that he was grateful for the music we would always have to remember her. Today I was having a telephone call with a Cancer survivor. A man that has recently recovered from prostate cancer. He is planning a cruise and we talked about how he saw this cruise as being about legacy. A chance to spend time with loved ones away from cancer treatment and the attendant concerns that may bring. Finally, before writing this I received a call from one of my closest friends telling me that her recent biopsy is benign. She felt relieved and moved with emotion knowing that now she could move forward in her life.


It strikes me that the words of LL, the cancer survivor and my friend all spoke about life and legacy and moving forward. It is no surprise to me that after a tragic death or after surviving a life threatening illness or after we are forced to examine our mortality we might think of legacy. We examine the legacy of those we have lost to tragedy, and when we survive near loss our selves we begin to wonder about our own mortality and perhaps question the legacy we will leave.


In my work I often speak to people about deciding in advance what legacy they want to leave. We talk about the concept advanced by Stephen Covey which reminds us to begin with the end in mind. That same friend with the good news wrote that to me in a text message I received just as I was boarding a flight today. Begin with the end in mind is such a simple concept that it is often forgotten. It speaks to deciding in advance what legacy you will leave. Perhaps it is too much at times for us to think of legacy when we are caught up in the general busyness of our day-to-day. Legacy can seem so far off for us when for now we are just focused on the week. Let's just get the kids to school, go to our own jobs, have a decent meal or two and maybe even find some time to relax before the week ends. That is often times all we are able to focus upon. Frankly, much of the time it is about all we can really handle.


Perhaps when we think of legacy we are thinking too far ahead and as a result it becomes too much to handle. I think we sometimes need something much shorter range to focus upon. Something that we can handle in the thick of our day. I think that often times what will become our legacy is simply thrust upon us by circumstances and our response. Finally, I think that legacy is sometimes a singular act of courage or sacrifice that goes unnoticed but becomes a part of our story.


While I was taking a break between flights in an airport lounge this afternoon I noticed a man that seemed to be intently looking out the window at something happening with one of the airplanes. When he noticed me staring at him he commented that it appeared that a fallen soldier was being boarded on one of the planes. I rose just in time to watch the ceremony as TSA Agents, Baggage Handlers, and an Army Escort paused and then raised their hands in a solemn salute to the flag draped casket of this fallen soldier. I became choked up as I imagined how far this soldier would have flown on his final journey and I wondered how much farther he would have to go. After the casket was loaded on board the aircraft the assembled team slowly lowered their salute and marched away from the plane. The last person to leave was the Army Escort.


As I looked at my watch I realized that I needed to get going to make my own plane on time. I gathered my belongings and took a quick look at the flight status screen to determine which gate my flight to Houston was departing from. I was grateful to learn that I was departing from gate B3 which was right next to the lounge. Realizing that I would not need to go far I relaxed a bit and began to walk to the gate. Upon approaching I noticed a crowd at the gate and realized that the TSA agents I had observed just moments ago were standing there talking. As I worked my way around the crowd I also saw the Army Escort just as he was boarding the plane. I realized then that the body of the fallen soldier was flying to Houston on the final leg of his journey home. I imagined that the escort would be sitting in First Class and that perhaps I would have an opportunity to express my gratitude for his service to our country and to his comrade. Perhaps we would be sitting next to each other and I could tell him how moved I was at watching what had just taken place outside.


When waiting to catch an aircraft I often watch people jostling for position to be among the first to board the plane. Many appear anxious as though the seats are only available on a first come first served basis. I have found myself experiencing that when I have a couple of bags and I am concerned about finding an overhead space to stow them. I admit that I too have at times crept towards the front of the line to board as early as possible. But today I have a First Class seat and only one bag so I hang back knowing that I will not be struggling for overhead space and recognizing that I will be boarding the plane with the first passengers boarding. As I stand back watching the other passengers I see the expressions of other apparent First Class passengers standing at the very edge of the gate. I am often amused at the sizing up that takes place as people try to determine who else will be flying in First and whether you should be standing with them. I always shy away from this as I don't want to be a part of this dance if possible. As I stand aside trying to stay out of the way of wheel chair passengers and others that appear to require pre-boarding I notice the plane's Captain who comes out and somewhat sternly tells the gate agent that he would appreciate it if one of the passengers in First Class would give up their seat for the Escort. Apparently, while it is customary to give the Escort a seat in First Class, today First Class has checked in full. I stand for a moment to see if anyone else heard the Captain but I see no signs of movement. I then decided that I would give up my seat. I just heard that small voice that I sometimes hear telling me that this was what I needed to do. I have learned to listen and obey when I hear that voice.


In order to volunteer my seat I needed to move from my position in the back of the crowd to the front. Actually, I realized that I needed to move to the counter to speak with the agent as soon as she was available. She had just left the counter to board a wheel chair passenger. I had to walk in front of those First Class passengers that had jockeyed for their prime positions. More than one gave me looks of "who do you think you are?" I ignored their stares and stood at the counter waiting for the attendant. When she returned I told her that I wanted to volunteer my seat in First Class for the Escort. She thanked me and told me to board the plane. This meant that I was now boarding before the other First Class passengers. I boarded the plane and located the Escort sitting silently in Coach. I thanked him for his service and for escorting one of our fallen home. I told him that I was giving him my seat in First Class. He seemed surprised and humbled. As we passed each other him taking my seat and me settling into his, one of the flight attendants approached me and thanked me for my gesture and told me that I was going to be treated just as though I was still in First Class. That was followed by one of the airport Supervisors, a man named Danny who said that my record with the airline would be noted for giving up my seat. The other flight attendants each came by to thank me as well all addressing me by name. Finally, the Captain came back to thank me for my generosity. Now it was I who was humbled as I only meant for this to be a personal and private gesture of thanks and gratitude for all that I have and the opportunities that I have been given.


After all of the passengers were aboard the aircraft the Captain made an announcement. He told us that we had on board today Sergeant First Class Harvey, who gave his final measure in an automobile accident in Germany after receiving two Purple Hearts in Iraq. He further told us that Sergeant Harvey was accompanied by his best friend Sergeant First Class Lowers who is the man to whom I gave my seat. The irony of this moment was not lost upon me and again I was brought to tears thankful that I listened to that voice.


We speak of legacy when we talk of people that are famous. Most of us will never be famous or have the notoriety of larger than life celebrities like Whitney Houston. People may never speak of our legacy or perhaps may never know the things that we have done. In many ways we don't really know how we will be remembered. But I know this. Sergeant Harvey's legacy was that he served all of us and ultimately lost his life in that service. His best friend's legacy is that he accompanied his friend on his final journey home. And for me today, the story I will remember is that it is the small things that you and I can do that contribute to our legacy. They may never be spoken about again but we know the things we have done.


Not everyone can become famous. But everyone can become great because greatness is determined by our service. - Martin Luther King

The Word

One of the phrases that often comes to my mind is from a book by Miguel Ruiz titled The Four Agreements.  It is a book I recommend frequently.  The phrase is “Be impeccable with your Word.”  In this phrase I note the capitalization of “Word”.  Word is used here as a proper noun which indicates that the writer intends for us to see this as the name of a person or thing. Ruiz calls this the first agreement and suggests that this singular agreement can change your life.

I had an opportunity to think about this concept yesterday.  Oddly, the thoughts came during a run.  Lately I have not found myself thinking while running but rather just focusing on completing my run which has not left room for many other thoughts.  Yet, this thought came to me powerfully and would not go away.  It occurred to me that the Word that I had been using during my runs was limiting my capacity.  I had been focusing on just getting through the run, often times telling myself that perhaps I could not run as far or as hard as I had planned.  The result of using the Word in this way was that it limited my ability and made many of these runs seem long and difficult.  However, during yesterday’s run the focus shifted.  It seemed that my Word was about strength and speed.  The result was an effortless run that seemed to go by quickly.

How often do we find ourselves telling ourselves limiting thoughts?  Thoughts like “I will never have enough money”, or “I don’t know how I am going to get through this”, or “I could never do that”.  The results of these limiting thoughts, or limiting words expressed as thoughts rarely produce positive results.  Rather, they produce fear, anxiety and often times anger.  These emotions of course rarely serve us well.

When we examine the phrase “Be impeccable with your Word” we begin to understand that Ruiz wants us to use words in a way that do not turn those words against ourselves.  He writes in his book that impeccable is a word derived from a combination of two words.  A Latin word “peccare” which means “to sin”, and the Latin prefix “in” meaning “not”. The combination of these words means means not capable of sinning.

It is fairly easy to see how we might commit a sin with our words and certainly greater minds than mine could discuss this at length.  But there is another approach that I would like to explore.  While we know clearly about the sins we can commit against others with our words, I want to explore the sins we commit against ourselves with our words.  As I indicated above, when I was running I was frequently thinking limiting thoughts.  The results of these thoughts were in fact limiting my abilities.  The result was that I was using my Word against myself.  How often do we do that?  We use words against ourselves to limit, discourage, or promote fear.  We use words to cause ourselves pain.  Is that not a sin against ourselves?

I trust that as you read this you don’t dismiss this as some sort of theological or religious rant.  Rather, I am proposing that we begin to examine our words and the power they hold.  Words are real.  They can be used in powerful ways.  Just turn on your television and watch the national discourse and the words being chosen by all sides of the political spectrum.  Watch a political debate or 30 minutes of what we now call “News”.  You will experience a well of emotions ranging from fear, anger, joy, and excitement.  You will align yourself with certain words.  Particularly those that come from people that you perceive to be just like you.  You will become angry at the words used by those that you see as different from you.  Yet, stepping back we must remember that these are their words.  We don’t know if they are being impeccable when they use them.  We don’t know if they are using the words with an intent to be delivered without harm or pain to another.  We can’t blindly trust the words of those we do not really know because we do not really know their intent.

I don’t have a sufficient audience to begin to change the national discourse.  I don’t have a soapbox to speak from that would permit me to cause us as a nation to become impeccable with our words.  But I can be one voice that begins to say and repeat over and over again “Be Impeccable with your Word.”  Maybe it does not need to start on a national level.  Maybe you can just start in your own head.  Take the time to examine the words you are using right now with just yourself.  Let’s get control over the limiting, painful, and untrue words we permit there.  Once we gain control of our inner world we can begin to have an impact on our outer world.  

I would like to ask anyone reading this today to take a moment before you leave this to just examine the words that you are aware of right now.  Are they advancing you or holding you back?  Are your words hurting another or limiting their potential?  Are your words making you smile or frown?  

Your Word is magical.  When your Word is free from fault or blame watch what happens first in your own mind and then in the world around you.

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD!

      

Taking Time to Ponder

Of course this post must start with the phrase “I was thinking recently about taking time to think”.  Many of our written words quite naturally come from the thoughts and observations we have about ourselves and our daily lives.  But in all actuality, this post comes from the thought about my own overwhelming data obsession.  

My personal observation is that I am without question obsessed with data.  I am not alone in this obsession.  When talking to a close friend yesterday about the weather her comment to me was that she did not have access to “good meteorological data”.  As I watch the habits of my family I notice how in mid conversation we go searching for data.  While talking to one of my sons about a new digital device that tracks our levels of activity during the day (a whole different gadget obsession I have) I noticed that within seconds of our conversation he was pulling up the device on his iPhone, and watching a video about the device.  This was an instantaneous response and of course while doing this he was still talking with me and at the same time consuming data.  

This week I read about the price increase from AT&T for new data plans.  The price increase while talked about in absolute numbers being around $5.00 is really a 25% increase in their price for a data plan.  While I have a grandfathered data plan from said provider and as a result did not really consider this much, it points out to me that for the most part we are so obsessed with data that I doubt that there will be little hue and cry over this hefty price increase.  After all, we need our data!  

I write this from my home office on a day when there is snow on the ground, and I have no appointments.  My children are at school and my spouse is otherwise preoccupied somewhere in our home far from my office.  I have what we might call a moment of peace and quiet.  We all seek these moments.  Yet in my office there are three laptop computers, my iPad, my iPhone, my television and radio, and of course my BlackBerry.  Stop shaking your head I already admitted my data obsession.  But the real point is that in order to write this I had to shut down everything except my Mac.  I wanted time to ponder this idea without interruption.  I wanted space from the data for just enough time to really think this idea through.  What is interesting as I write is that I found myself needing data even in the middle of this piece as I wanted to be sure of my usage of the term “hue and cry” above and so I did a quick Google search on my second screen.  I laughed out loud at myself right after I did that.

Pondering an idea for me means to write out my thoughts to explore what I am thinking about a thing.  This is the way I think and has been the way I have thought for many years.  When I was much younger I would do this with a notepad in front of me or at least a piece of paper.  I have found myself in restaurants alone doing this on a napkin and I can even recall the number of times I thought thorough an idea with friends while writing something down.  I ponder on paper (or at least the electronic equivalent).  But something very interesting happens when I remove myself from the data and actually ponder an idea.  I realize that I have real thoughts.  Lots of them in fact and they flow out quickly and in a fairly coherent fashion.  I have to fight off the temptation to go off on a tangent from time to time but I find that with just a bit of quiet focus I can really think.  It feels good.  It feels rewarding.

I find that I have a tendency to worry, project into the future or be regretful about a prior thought word or action.  If I really think about it much of what I call thinking has really been one of these.  I call these stories.  I will tell myself all kinds of stories if I am not careful.  But this form of thinking, this pondering, is quite different.  It is just focused on the subject at hand.  It is about doing something vastly different and arriving at a conclusion or a sense of direction.  It is fun. 

In our very busy world filled with so much data, so much information, and so many interruptions, pondering will be difficult at best.  But I highly recommend it to anyone that just needs to take time away from the crowd, and escape the data for a few moments.  Try disconnecting and just ponder.  I am making a list.  There are a number of things now that I want to ponder in the coming days.  I can only wonder how many of those will be translated to a post here.

UBU