McDonalds and Abundance

Nearly ten years ago our family was blessed with the birth of twin boys. The twins, Max and Alex are our only children and they were born when I was forty years old. Prior to the birth of our boys I had never actually imagined myself as a father. One of the early lessons I learned about being a father is that ready or not, here they come. And so at the age of forty I had to learn about being a Dad. I did not know at the time that these boys were going to teach me more about being a person than I could ever learn just learning to be a Dad.

I decided early on that I would spend Saturdays with my boys. Actually, looking back I am not sure if this was a decision that I made independently, or one that was strongly suggested by the woman that spent all of the other days feeding, changing, bathing and otherwise caring for the boys. Well, however the decision came about, Saturday was clearly established early on as the day I would spend time with the boys.

Given my limited experience with children, the early days were tough. I can remember the days when I would lock myself in a room, place the boys on the carpet, and just try to contain them and keep them safe for the two to three hours that my wife would leave us alone. I made sure that the room was free of hazards, and I would bring in to this space all of the things that I could conceive of needing. As the boys grew older, and I grew bolder, we would take trips to the mall. This was really just an expansion of my lock them in a room strategy. The room was bigger of course, but I figured that I could still out run them when they were headed for trouble and we always traveled with the “twin-mobile.” This was a wonderful stroller that had independent suspension, side-by-side dual reclining bucket seats, webbed trunk space and a convertible top. All of this was designed into a sub-compact that was small enough to fit through conventional doors. The stroller was in a fancy looking “British Racing Green” color and was a natural babe magnet. The boys and I were not actually out looking for women, but I recognized early on that twin boys attracted the attention of most women in the mall. There was always some kind soul that would come over to help me out just as things were getting out of control which would happen all too often.

As the boys grew older still, and I felt braver, we would go out into the world taking short walks, without the crutch of the “twin-mobile”. By this time they were only three so our walks took us to whatever we could reach within the confines of our neighborhood. I figured by then that if things got ugly someone would recognize us and help me to get back home. This of course meant that only destinations within three blocks of our home were fair game. In this regard we were pretty fortunate. Within that circumference there is a park, playground and an Aviary. All of these were interesting and fun, but one of the places that my boys loved the most was the McDonalds in the opposite direction. Many a Saturday we would walk to McDonalds for breakfast and then walk home. With two three year old children this outing can take about an hour and a half.

I personally do not like McDonalds. Until my children were born I considered most of their food just plain McNasty. Although I did concede early on that they had the best french fries. I soon learned that french fries are an excellent portable finger food for young children. Until they learn of the existence of ketchup, you can give the children fries and know that when you get home they will not look too bad. Upon having this realization, our trips to McDonalds became a walk around the corner to buy fries and walk home. By this time we had the entire trip mastered and I was confident that we could go round trip without a break for rest or bathrooms if I timed it perfectly.

Having already established that I am not a huge fan of McDonalds, I have to also state that I understand that a forty plus year old man should not regularly consume french fries for all of the obvious health reasons. Here is where children can come in quite handy. I would buy the fries “for the boys”, giving them one small bag each. During the walk home I would usually just reach in and have a few of their fries thereby eliminating the guilt that might come with consuming my own bag. This worked for a while as for the most part the boys hardly noticed.

One day while walking home with our fries I leaned over to Alex and asked him if I could have a couple of his fries. He suddenly pulled the bag to his chest, protecting the crispy contents and said “no.” I was surprised at this move. However, one of the great things about twins is that when you observe negative behavior you can gently correct it by talking with the other child and nicely explaining why they should behave differently. This gives the errant child a chance to externally observe the error of his ways without the need to directly chastise and otherwise embarrass the child. So, I turned to Max and asked nicely if he would like to share his fries with me. To my surprise he too pulled the bag to his chest and said “no.” Of course this also brings up one of the downsides of having twins. Most negative behaviors are also learned by one observing the other.

I have long held that the time we spend with our children provide many opportunities to learn and to teach. This was what I call a “teachable moment.” My boys were for the first observable time displaying an attitude that is common to many children and adults alike. This was the attitude that there could not possibly be enough of something that they valued and so they chose not to share it with me. I decided that I needed to teach them about abundance.

Having only walked a half a block from McDonalds we turned around and walked back. The boys had no idea about what was to come next. Walking through the doors, I stopped at the trash can and threw away their two bags of fries. That is when the tears began to flow. Then, I stepped over to the counter and ordered two super sized boxes of french fries. The super sized fries are too big for a three year old to carry with one hand. Each child had to use both of their hands to carry the fries, and of course this meant that they could not free one hand to then eat the fries. We walked over to a table where I explained in language that I thought they might understand how sharing what we have creates more of what we want. I pointed out to them that in this instance I was the provider of their french fries. Failing to share them with me reflected their lack of an understanding that everything they had came from me. Also, I had the capacity as their father to give them not only what they had, but even more than they could dream of having, even more than they themselves could handle. As their father, I would never see my children lacking in the things that they needed or even wanted as long as it was good for them. I was teaching my boys on that day at McDonalds about abundance.

I have often reflected back on that day and the lesson that my boys were teaching me as I taught them about abundance. I have often referenced this lesson when teaching adults about having an abundance mentality. I find it interesting how so many people I know will quickly tell you that they are a child of God, yet not see the true abundance in that relationship. If God is your father, he would never have you needing or wanting. But first we must learn to let go of our ego, and open our hands and our hearts to receive his gifts.

The simple act of an immature child can teach us all so much about life, and french fries can teach us about abundance.