There are days when I see myself in the mirror and wish that I looked differently. Not that I am displeased with the way that I have aged over the years, but rather, that I was looking in on the face of a wiser man. I once believed that wisdom comes from what we know deep down inside. With time I have come to learn that wisdom is actually the ability to apply what we have learned in our lives.
Sometimes you run across a term or phrase and you say to yourself “I wish I had thought of that”. Inherent in that statement is your acceptance of the uniqueness or perhaps the brilliance in what you heard or read. That is exactly how it was for me when I first heard the term “E-cubed”. E-cubed stands for Emotional Energy and Edge. This is the “E” in finding your V.O.I.C.E. What is most amazing to me looking back is that I first heard this term in the summer of 2000 while attending a conference of Pastors just outside of Chicago, Illinois. I need to quickly clarify something here; I myself am not a Pastor or a religious leader of any kind. I actually had the good fortune of being sent to this conference in my role as the Director of Operations for a large congregation in Pittsburgh. This was an amazing experience given my background and as I learned that week, this conference would mark the turning point in my pursuits and my career.
The leader of this conference was a man named Bill Hybels who is the Pastor and Founder of Willow Creek Community Church. In the opening session Hybels talked about what he called the 360 degree leader. These pages will have more on that subject later. During his talk Hybels mentioned the work of a number of business leaders, business thinkers, and business writers that I knew and admired. That is when he hooked me. This was the first time in my life that I heard a “Preacher” talking about business models and business thinking. This concept grabbed me in a way that I had never been grabbed before. I always believed that the concepts in business had practical application in a church setting, and I even believed that the principles of business had their roots in the church. But, this is a digression. Hybels began to talk about the work of Daniel Goleman related to Emotional Intelligence. Goleman is a Harvard Ph.D., that has researched and written about the ways in which emotional intelligence (what he describes as EQ) is a greater determinant of future success than IQ. His work suggests that IQ only accounts for 20% of the factors that determine life success. The other 80% are other forces such as social status to even luck. Among those factors that comprise the other 80% is EQ. Here is the take away, “Emotions and self-awareness determine success”.
Bill Hybels went on to talk about the work of Dr. Noel Tichy, who once was in charge of leadership development at GE’s Crotonville facility. Working along with Jack Welch Dr. Tichy developed what he called E-cubed (upon hearing this I wished I had thought of it myself) and described this as one of the three essential traits of leaders that successfully teach other leaders. These two concepts introduced to me by a “Preacher” helped to form and to stimulate my thinking on the subject of leadership, which ultimately led to the creation of V.O.I.C.E. The second take away, “Energy and Edge are essential components in finding your V.O.I.C.E.”.
In finding your V.O.I.C.E. each of the individual components (Values, Objectives, Integrity, Choices, and E-cubed) are important. It would be difficult for me to choose one component and say that single component is the most important. Yet, I have found that there has been considerable discussion of the first four components in every book I have ever read on leadership. Every writer has approached these four from a different perspective, but it is generally accepted that values, clear objectives, having integrity, and understanding the choices a leader must make are essential qualities. Thus, E-cubed is by no means the most important component in finding your V.O.I.C.E., it simply is the one component that has not been explored enough. It is precisely because of this lack of exploration that I believe that talking about V.O.I.C.E. is essential learning for every person, leader, volunteer or worker. This is truly vital stuff.
This week my writing will be focused on exploring E-cubed. I will help you to understand the value in developing your E-cubed abilities. I encourage you to check back daily as I describe how vital the sense of Emotional Energy and Edge are to you finding your V.O.I.C.E.
Monday, January 31, 2005
Friday, January 28, 2005
Spiritual Freedom - The Ability to Choose
There is something unique about being human that distinguishes us from every other creature on the planet. That is that we are self-aware. Your self-awareness allows you to process information even while you are in the middle of other mental activity. Our gift of self-awareness also lends itself to our independent will. Our creator has endowed each of us with the independent ability to choose. That ability to choose is what I call Choices and your point of view the "C" in finding your V.O.I.C.E., making value based choices and being positive.
This past weekend I was one of those stranded people you saw on the news as I was stuck in the Philadelphia Airport. The airport was shut down due to the blizzard that hit the Northeast, and I managed to arrive from a training course I was conducting right before the closure. If you have never been through this I can tell you that it is quite an adventure. Before the airport closed people were rushing from place to place hoping that they could catch a flight to their destination. Yet, as the snow continued to fall, flight after flight was cancelled. Conditions deteriorated rapidly both inside and outside of the airport. I have learned that in these situations the airlines do not provide much information that you might find helpful. This of course results in confusion and frustration among the passengers. I saw numerous instances of tempers flaring among passengers as well as airport workers, vendors, and airline crew members.
Like everyone else at the airport that afternoon, I really wanted to get to my final destination which for me was Pittsburgh. I shuffled from line to line seeking information or trying to get booked on the next flight out. While I was in one very long line a man behind me began shouting something and before I could turn around to see what he was yelling about he hit me in the head with what felt like a magazine or newspaper. Now, I want you to understand that at this point in the day I had already been teaching for about 5 hours, endured a harrowing van ride to the airport, and was experiencing the anxiety of being told that I might not make it home that evening as planned. To say that I was just a bit tense at that point would be an understatement. Of course my fellow screaming and whacking passenger could not have known or perhaps did not care about what I might be feeling when he hit me in the head. The thought that flashed through my mind at that instant was the picture of the young girl in “The Exorcist” when her head turned without her body moving. For a brief second I was ready to lash out at this screaming, hitting crazy person. In that brief instant I was also reminded that I had a choice in how I handled this situation.
I am not a physically foreboding person. At my height of just over six feet I don’t weigh more than 178 pounds and that is when I wear my heaviest shoes. I have not been physically intimidating ever in my life. But, I have developed over the years a voice and look that can stop you in your tracks. As I was preparing to deliver the look and the voice, I was reminded that just like me this man was also anxious. He too probably wanted to get home to a loved one and very much needed the security that comes with understanding his destiny. He simply had lost his ability to handle the circumstances of the long lines and the general air of uncertainty. In that situation he had clearly lost his V.O.I.C.E and made a bad choice. My opportunity to demonstrate my V.O.I.C.E. was clear. Rather than giving the look, I put on my kindest smile and turned to the man and said “you hitting me on the head just made me understand that I am not the only person here that is pretty frustrated by these delays. Where are you trying to go?” The man was speechless. He turned beet red and began to stammer an apology.
In the end this man ended up spending the night at the airport sleeping on the benches just like me. I ran into him a number of times during the evening as we scavenged for food, sought out pillows and blankets, and tried to find a comfortable and safe place to sleep. Imagine the difference in those other encounters and the impact on this man’s views just by my small choice.
When we make choices that are rooted in our values we take control of our lives. More importantly, remember that no matter the circumstances you always have a choice.
They cannot take away our self respect unless we give it to them – Gandhi
This past weekend I was one of those stranded people you saw on the news as I was stuck in the Philadelphia Airport. The airport was shut down due to the blizzard that hit the Northeast, and I managed to arrive from a training course I was conducting right before the closure. If you have never been through this I can tell you that it is quite an adventure. Before the airport closed people were rushing from place to place hoping that they could catch a flight to their destination. Yet, as the snow continued to fall, flight after flight was cancelled. Conditions deteriorated rapidly both inside and outside of the airport. I have learned that in these situations the airlines do not provide much information that you might find helpful. This of course results in confusion and frustration among the passengers. I saw numerous instances of tempers flaring among passengers as well as airport workers, vendors, and airline crew members.
Like everyone else at the airport that afternoon, I really wanted to get to my final destination which for me was Pittsburgh. I shuffled from line to line seeking information or trying to get booked on the next flight out. While I was in one very long line a man behind me began shouting something and before I could turn around to see what he was yelling about he hit me in the head with what felt like a magazine or newspaper. Now, I want you to understand that at this point in the day I had already been teaching for about 5 hours, endured a harrowing van ride to the airport, and was experiencing the anxiety of being told that I might not make it home that evening as planned. To say that I was just a bit tense at that point would be an understatement. Of course my fellow screaming and whacking passenger could not have known or perhaps did not care about what I might be feeling when he hit me in the head. The thought that flashed through my mind at that instant was the picture of the young girl in “The Exorcist” when her head turned without her body moving. For a brief second I was ready to lash out at this screaming, hitting crazy person. In that brief instant I was also reminded that I had a choice in how I handled this situation.
I am not a physically foreboding person. At my height of just over six feet I don’t weigh more than 178 pounds and that is when I wear my heaviest shoes. I have not been physically intimidating ever in my life. But, I have developed over the years a voice and look that can stop you in your tracks. As I was preparing to deliver the look and the voice, I was reminded that just like me this man was also anxious. He too probably wanted to get home to a loved one and very much needed the security that comes with understanding his destiny. He simply had lost his ability to handle the circumstances of the long lines and the general air of uncertainty. In that situation he had clearly lost his V.O.I.C.E and made a bad choice. My opportunity to demonstrate my V.O.I.C.E. was clear. Rather than giving the look, I put on my kindest smile and turned to the man and said “you hitting me on the head just made me understand that I am not the only person here that is pretty frustrated by these delays. Where are you trying to go?” The man was speechless. He turned beet red and began to stammer an apology.
In the end this man ended up spending the night at the airport sleeping on the benches just like me. I ran into him a number of times during the evening as we scavenged for food, sought out pillows and blankets, and tried to find a comfortable and safe place to sleep. Imagine the difference in those other encounters and the impact on this man’s views just by my small choice.
When we make choices that are rooted in our values we take control of our lives. More importantly, remember that no matter the circumstances you always have a choice.
They cannot take away our self respect unless we give it to them – Gandhi
Thursday, January 27, 2005
L - I = Death x 1000
Today I want to talk only with leaders. Now before you tune me out by saying you are not a leader, please consider this. If you walked a dog, fed a child, woke up a spouse, took a shower, or responded positively to your alarm clock then you are a Leader! Leadership comes in many forms and sometimes it means simply leading yourself. In my view self leadership is actually the most important form of leadership. Now that only the leaders are listening, let me explain my formula in the title. L – I = Death x 1000 translates to Living without Integrity causes Death 1000 times. I bet that really cleared things up didn’t it?
Today’s discussion is about the “I” in V.O.I.C.E. The “I” stands for integrity in the moment of choice. I read a great deal and sometimes I can not for the life of me remember my references. Something I read recently said that when we yield to act without integrity we die a thousand deaths. I wish I could remember the specific reference, but it reminded of the Al Pacino quote in Godfather number whatever, “every time I try to get out they pull me back in”. This is what happens when we fail to live with integrity. So what is integrity? Simply described, integrity is keeping promises. Integrity is a spiritual matter. This is true because most of the time matters of integrity are private and come from the soul. In fact, integrity is usually not an issue until you finally get caught or called on it. However, as a leader, you must understand that 90% of all leadership failures are character failures (integrity). Stephen Covey writes in the 8th habit that they surveyed 54,000 people and asked them to identify the essential qualities of a leader. The number one essential quality was integrity. In his best selling book “Leadership Jazz” Max DePree when talking about integrity said “Behavior is the only score that is kept”.
To have integrity is to be integrated into your principles. Yet to be fully integrated you must understand and live by your principles. In today’s society and workplaces, the social mores and norms are usually contrary to having integrity. If this statement shocks you or you disagree, just check after your next meeting. I guarantee you that after the meeting half of those present will speak negatively about the people in the room. If you don’t go to a meeting, listen for the duplicity in the speech of those that you know, work with, and yes, even your friends. All of these speak to matters of integrity.
Integrity like most principles works like a muscle. To have it you must work to build it. But, before you can build any muscle, you must acknowledge that it is weak. You don’t start out an exercise program by lifting 200 pound weights. Rather, you start slowly with weight you can manage. With integrity the “weight” is keeping promises. When you fail to keep a promise either to yourself or to others you tend to feel upset or angry. To change this make a conscious decision to make small promises that you can and will keep. Start privately such as promising today that you will not eat that dessert or that you will watch 30 minutes less television and spend the time reading a book. Or, promise yourself that today you will spend 30 minutes one-on-one with your child. The honor you will feel from keeping the small promises will yield growth of your integrity muscle and you can move on to keeping the bigger promises. Remember the words of Tom Peters “there are no momentary lapses of integrity”.
Stephen Covey writes “integrity is the child of humility and courage. Humility acknowledges that there are natural laws that govern the universe”. Ambrose Redmoon said “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else [your integrity] is more important than fear”. I say, “Remember that Integrity is not subordinate to loyalty, rather, integrity is loyalty”. Be humble, be courageous, have Integrity.
Today’s discussion is about the “I” in V.O.I.C.E. The “I” stands for integrity in the moment of choice. I read a great deal and sometimes I can not for the life of me remember my references. Something I read recently said that when we yield to act without integrity we die a thousand deaths. I wish I could remember the specific reference, but it reminded of the Al Pacino quote in Godfather number whatever, “every time I try to get out they pull me back in”. This is what happens when we fail to live with integrity. So what is integrity? Simply described, integrity is keeping promises. Integrity is a spiritual matter. This is true because most of the time matters of integrity are private and come from the soul. In fact, integrity is usually not an issue until you finally get caught or called on it. However, as a leader, you must understand that 90% of all leadership failures are character failures (integrity). Stephen Covey writes in the 8th habit that they surveyed 54,000 people and asked them to identify the essential qualities of a leader. The number one essential quality was integrity. In his best selling book “Leadership Jazz” Max DePree when talking about integrity said “Behavior is the only score that is kept”.
To have integrity is to be integrated into your principles. Yet to be fully integrated you must understand and live by your principles. In today’s society and workplaces, the social mores and norms are usually contrary to having integrity. If this statement shocks you or you disagree, just check after your next meeting. I guarantee you that after the meeting half of those present will speak negatively about the people in the room. If you don’t go to a meeting, listen for the duplicity in the speech of those that you know, work with, and yes, even your friends. All of these speak to matters of integrity.
Integrity like most principles works like a muscle. To have it you must work to build it. But, before you can build any muscle, you must acknowledge that it is weak. You don’t start out an exercise program by lifting 200 pound weights. Rather, you start slowly with weight you can manage. With integrity the “weight” is keeping promises. When you fail to keep a promise either to yourself or to others you tend to feel upset or angry. To change this make a conscious decision to make small promises that you can and will keep. Start privately such as promising today that you will not eat that dessert or that you will watch 30 minutes less television and spend the time reading a book. Or, promise yourself that today you will spend 30 minutes one-on-one with your child. The honor you will feel from keeping the small promises will yield growth of your integrity muscle and you can move on to keeping the bigger promises. Remember the words of Tom Peters “there are no momentary lapses of integrity”.
Stephen Covey writes “integrity is the child of humility and courage. Humility acknowledges that there are natural laws that govern the universe”. Ambrose Redmoon said “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else [your integrity] is more important than fear”. I say, “Remember that Integrity is not subordinate to loyalty, rather, integrity is loyalty”. Be humble, be courageous, have Integrity.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Everything You Need To Know
Before we get started today I want to ask a question that you must answer honestly. This should be pretty easy since you are more than likely reading this all by your self in front of your computer. If you are not sure of this then just look around you right now and you can confirm that it is true. OK. Now that we have that taken care of, the question is, did you spend the 10 minutes writing I asked you to do? If you did not then there really is very little reason to read further today. However, if you did not please stop and take 10 minutes to Please Do It Now.
Sorry to begin today by seeming to rant a bit but this is really important. The exercise from yesterday is the basis of what will become your personal mission statement. While this will change over the years to come, we will be building together a document that you will use to provide overall direction for your life. If I were teaching this in a seminar setting we would spend the better part of four hours on just this concept alone. So once again I urge you to take the ten minutes to write. And now we move on.
In August of 1999 the United States Army published their Field Manual for leadership. The manual is called in classic army speak “FM 22-100”. Unless you like military history as I do or study the issues of leadership you may not be aware of the existence of this public document. I first became acquainted with the Field Manual back in 2002 while reading an article from the Drucker Institute called Leader to Leader. FM 22-100 describes the principles of army leadership built around the foundation of Be, Know, Do. Your personal plan of written objectives should be created with these same principles in mind. Going back to Stephen Covey, when teaching the Seven Habits he uses a model called the Have, Do, Be model. The concept is that what we do flows out of who we are (be). What we have flows out of what we do. Dr. Covey calls this the “Inside-Out process. Explaining this simply, everything flows from who we are. Field manual 22-100 clarifies this further. Be is about our values, attributes and character. Know describes our knowledge, skills, and abilities or competence. Do sets forth our actions, results, and influence which translates into our personal leadership.
Reading the document you prepared yesterday (or today for those that are getting the point) you must look for statements that begin to point to who you are. You should also look for things that lead you to understand what you want, and what you do. Again, this is important and difficult introspective work. Also know that it is perfectly alright to describe what you want to become even if you aren’t getting it right yet. Begin to note the statements that respond to each of these attributes. If you are not seeing the Be, Know, Do, statements in your writing you might want to repeat the exercise once again so that they may reveal themselves to you.
Nearly twenty years ago Robert Fulghum wrote a wonderful book based on his thoughts and insights about the common things in life. Fulghum has gone on to become a noted thinker of uncommon thoughts communicated in a common manner. I highly recommend his book “All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten”. But, I encourage you if nothing else to read the beginning of the book which in the paperback version starts on page 3. I found this writing to be very inspirational for each of us as we begin this process of discovering our personal mission as a part of finding our V.O.I.C.E.
When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. – Robert Fulghum
Sorry to begin today by seeming to rant a bit but this is really important. The exercise from yesterday is the basis of what will become your personal mission statement. While this will change over the years to come, we will be building together a document that you will use to provide overall direction for your life. If I were teaching this in a seminar setting we would spend the better part of four hours on just this concept alone. So once again I urge you to take the ten minutes to write. And now we move on.
In August of 1999 the United States Army published their Field Manual for leadership. The manual is called in classic army speak “FM 22-100”. Unless you like military history as I do or study the issues of leadership you may not be aware of the existence of this public document. I first became acquainted with the Field Manual back in 2002 while reading an article from the Drucker Institute called Leader to Leader. FM 22-100 describes the principles of army leadership built around the foundation of Be, Know, Do. Your personal plan of written objectives should be created with these same principles in mind. Going back to Stephen Covey, when teaching the Seven Habits he uses a model called the Have, Do, Be model. The concept is that what we do flows out of who we are (be). What we have flows out of what we do. Dr. Covey calls this the “Inside-Out process. Explaining this simply, everything flows from who we are. Field manual 22-100 clarifies this further. Be is about our values, attributes and character. Know describes our knowledge, skills, and abilities or competence. Do sets forth our actions, results, and influence which translates into our personal leadership.
Reading the document you prepared yesterday (or today for those that are getting the point) you must look for statements that begin to point to who you are. You should also look for things that lead you to understand what you want, and what you do. Again, this is important and difficult introspective work. Also know that it is perfectly alright to describe what you want to become even if you aren’t getting it right yet. Begin to note the statements that respond to each of these attributes. If you are not seeing the Be, Know, Do, statements in your writing you might want to repeat the exercise once again so that they may reveal themselves to you.
Nearly twenty years ago Robert Fulghum wrote a wonderful book based on his thoughts and insights about the common things in life. Fulghum has gone on to become a noted thinker of uncommon thoughts communicated in a common manner. I highly recommend his book “All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten”. But, I encourage you if nothing else to read the beginning of the book which in the paperback version starts on page 3. I found this writing to be very inspirational for each of us as we begin this process of discovering our personal mission as a part of finding our V.O.I.C.E.
When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. – Robert Fulghum
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
You Can Do Anything - But You Can't Do Everything
I am truly grateful that the term popularized a few years ago “I want to have it all” has begun to fall out of our vocabulary. We have at least come to realize that we really can’t have it all. Yet, while we have recognized this in our lives, most of us have not figured out that not only can we not have it all, but we also can not do it all.
As I continue the discussion of Objectives I want to spend some time today on helping you to understand the processes that takes place when anything is accomplished. Everything we do begins with a thought. This bears repeating for emphasis. Everything we do begins with a thought. This is basic common sense. Each of us has told someone in our lives that they should think about their actions before they do something. As common as this thinking is, the practice is uncommon. We just have not been taught that we must really think about everything before we take action. So much of what we do is in response to the things that are facing us each day whether it is the work on our desk, laundry to be done, or a house to clean. We do most of these things as a reaction with little or often no real thought to the desired outcome. Management guru Peter Drucker writing about knowledge workers says “In knowledge work the task is not given, it has to be determined”. To quote Drucker further, he says that we must consider “What are the expected results from this work?” While these ideas make clear sense in the business world, most of us do not apply proven principles to our personal lives, and a great number of us do not even apply these principles in our professional lives.
Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote “The ancestor of every action is a thought”. Unfortunately, for the things that should really matter in our lives, we stop at the thought. And, for most of us, we have that same thought from time to time over and over again. I like the comment of personal productivity guru David Allen in his book “Getting Things Done”. Allen says, “There is no reason ever to have the same thought twice, unless you like having that thought”. We can change this pattern by establishing our objectives in writing.
By now most of us have already broken our New Years resolutions. The problem with resolutions is that they are usually not written, they do not have a “because” related to them, and they are not based on sound principles. Starting today you are going to change all of that. I want you to commit to an exercise that will begin the process of focusing your mind on the things you want that really matter in your life. This exercise will require just ten minutes of your time, but must be accomplished while you are not distracted. It is perhaps best to do this alone in a room if you can. First, put on a CD of your favorite music. Something that relaxes you, but not something that makes you sing or dance. Next, get a pen, a note pad, and a simple kitchen timer. Set the timer for ten minutes. Find a comfortable place to sit and write. When you have found this place I want you to start the timer and spend the next ten minutes writing non-stop. What is important is that you write without stopping. Write whatever comes to your mind such as “I don’t know what to write”, or “this is really stupid”. If you persist and write for the full ten minutes your inner thoughts and desires will become apparent.
Tomorrow we will talk about what to do next with your written objectives.
The beginning is half of every action – Greek Proverb
As I continue the discussion of Objectives I want to spend some time today on helping you to understand the processes that takes place when anything is accomplished. Everything we do begins with a thought. This bears repeating for emphasis. Everything we do begins with a thought. This is basic common sense. Each of us has told someone in our lives that they should think about their actions before they do something. As common as this thinking is, the practice is uncommon. We just have not been taught that we must really think about everything before we take action. So much of what we do is in response to the things that are facing us each day whether it is the work on our desk, laundry to be done, or a house to clean. We do most of these things as a reaction with little or often no real thought to the desired outcome. Management guru Peter Drucker writing about knowledge workers says “In knowledge work the task is not given, it has to be determined”. To quote Drucker further, he says that we must consider “What are the expected results from this work?” While these ideas make clear sense in the business world, most of us do not apply proven principles to our personal lives, and a great number of us do not even apply these principles in our professional lives.
Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote “The ancestor of every action is a thought”. Unfortunately, for the things that should really matter in our lives, we stop at the thought. And, for most of us, we have that same thought from time to time over and over again. I like the comment of personal productivity guru David Allen in his book “Getting Things Done”. Allen says, “There is no reason ever to have the same thought twice, unless you like having that thought”. We can change this pattern by establishing our objectives in writing.
By now most of us have already broken our New Years resolutions. The problem with resolutions is that they are usually not written, they do not have a “because” related to them, and they are not based on sound principles. Starting today you are going to change all of that. I want you to commit to an exercise that will begin the process of focusing your mind on the things you want that really matter in your life. This exercise will require just ten minutes of your time, but must be accomplished while you are not distracted. It is perhaps best to do this alone in a room if you can. First, put on a CD of your favorite music. Something that relaxes you, but not something that makes you sing or dance. Next, get a pen, a note pad, and a simple kitchen timer. Set the timer for ten minutes. Find a comfortable place to sit and write. When you have found this place I want you to start the timer and spend the next ten minutes writing non-stop. What is important is that you write without stopping. Write whatever comes to your mind such as “I don’t know what to write”, or “this is really stupid”. If you persist and write for the full ten minutes your inner thoughts and desires will become apparent.
Tomorrow we will talk about what to do next with your written objectives.
The beginning is half of every action – Greek Proverb
Monday, January 24, 2005
Are We There Yet?
When I traveled with my children when they were under the age of four, during our trip they would always soon break into a familiar refrain, “are we there yet”? Young children, it seems, have universally discovered a way to express their concerns when traveling by continually asking this question. While each of us as a parent has tried our best to be patient when answering this question, a child’s persistence can often wear down the very best of us. Today I want to look at this question from a very different point of view.
The very question “are we there yet?” speaks to a need within each of us to have a clear sense of where we are going. When a child that has been told we are taking a trip to see Grandmother asks this question, the root of the question is in their need to know where they are going. For young children, as yet unable to perceive elapsed time and distance, this question really speaks to their need for a clear understanding of the objectives of the trip. This brings us to today’s discussion of the “O” in V.O.I.C.E. The “O” stands for having clear and written Objectives in your life. Having clear objectives is simply another way of saying that you must have a mission or purpose in your life. Given some time to think we all could respond in some way to the question – What is your mission in life? However, what I am talking about here causes us to go deeper. Your objectives in life must be inspiring and compelling. They must establish for you a clear sense of where you are going, and more importantly, they must establish for you the why you are going there. One of the things I have learned recently about the way the brain works is that we respond when we understand “because”. Just this simple word acts as a command that compels us into action. I recently read of the work of Dr. Robert B. Cialdini, in a book written by Tony Jeary titled “Life Is a Series of Presentations”. In his book Tony Jeary writes of the work of Dr. Cialdini as relates to the psychology of influence. While we can’t expound on his work in this limited space, we can summarize by giving you this compelling statistic. In terms of influencing action, just understanding why increases the likelihood of receiving a positive response by 50%. Simply stated, having a clear sense of why results in a 50% improvement in the likelihood of success!
Going back to one our favorite authors and speakers, we once again reference the work of Dr. Stephen Covey. In his book the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Dr. Covey teaches us what he calls Habit 2, “Begin With The End in Mind”. Dr. Covey calls this the habit of personal leadership. Habit 2 is the habit that causes you to have a vision or clear objectives for your life. This sense of vision is the compelling “why” you do what you plan to do. Writing this down takes us from the realm of just thinking of what we want to clearly planning for what we want. Tomorrow we will continue to expand upon this idea and provide a few tips as to how to begin. I leave you today with this quote:
If a man knows not what harbor he seeks, any wind is the right wind. - Seneca
The very question “are we there yet?” speaks to a need within each of us to have a clear sense of where we are going. When a child that has been told we are taking a trip to see Grandmother asks this question, the root of the question is in their need to know where they are going. For young children, as yet unable to perceive elapsed time and distance, this question really speaks to their need for a clear understanding of the objectives of the trip. This brings us to today’s discussion of the “O” in V.O.I.C.E. The “O” stands for having clear and written Objectives in your life. Having clear objectives is simply another way of saying that you must have a mission or purpose in your life. Given some time to think we all could respond in some way to the question – What is your mission in life? However, what I am talking about here causes us to go deeper. Your objectives in life must be inspiring and compelling. They must establish for you a clear sense of where you are going, and more importantly, they must establish for you the why you are going there. One of the things I have learned recently about the way the brain works is that we respond when we understand “because”. Just this simple word acts as a command that compels us into action. I recently read of the work of Dr. Robert B. Cialdini, in a book written by Tony Jeary titled “Life Is a Series of Presentations”. In his book Tony Jeary writes of the work of Dr. Cialdini as relates to the psychology of influence. While we can’t expound on his work in this limited space, we can summarize by giving you this compelling statistic. In terms of influencing action, just understanding why increases the likelihood of receiving a positive response by 50%. Simply stated, having a clear sense of why results in a 50% improvement in the likelihood of success!
Going back to one our favorite authors and speakers, we once again reference the work of Dr. Stephen Covey. In his book the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Dr. Covey teaches us what he calls Habit 2, “Begin With The End in Mind”. Dr. Covey calls this the habit of personal leadership. Habit 2 is the habit that causes you to have a vision or clear objectives for your life. This sense of vision is the compelling “why” you do what you plan to do. Writing this down takes us from the realm of just thinking of what we want to clearly planning for what we want. Tomorrow we will continue to expand upon this idea and provide a few tips as to how to begin. I leave you today with this quote:
If a man knows not what harbor he seeks, any wind is the right wind. - Seneca
Friday, January 21, 2005
Getting Lost In The Woods
Many years ago I had the great pleasure of spending time backpacking along the Appalachian Trail. These were happy times when I could spend a weekend walking and living in the peace and quiet of the woods. Sometimes I would get lost or turned around on these trips. It occurred to me today that those walks in the woods taught me a valuable lesson that I will use to distinguish between values and principles.
I received a comment to yesterday’s message (we all need to be brave and post our comments on the site) that raised a very important point about values. The comment was that sometimes our values are constantly changing because of external influences such as friends, politics, or even religion. Because of this sometimes we shy away from those that have values that are in conflict with our own. However, at times these same influences are strong enough to change our values. So then, how can we have values that don’t change? This brings us back to my days on the Appalachian Trail.
When I went hiking I always carried two things for guidance. The first was a Guide to Trails which included a map and description of the trail I was hiking on. The second was a compass. The trail guide with included maps is the equivalent of our values. Our values provide a description or map of what we believe. This description is very useful, but a map is only a subjective description of what it stands for. If two people drew a map of the same place, or held the same values, the maps and the values would be slightly or dramatically different. A compass however is not subjective. North on a compass is based on a principle called Magnetic North. The magnetic needle on a compass will always point to magnetic north no matter which way you turn (externally influence). The direction of the compass is unchanging, principle centered direction.
As we end our discussion this week on Values, think in terms of a compass not just a map. Base your values on principles such as integrity, honesty, or trust. This results in values that will not change with the influences of society, friends, or the latest fad. Here is my simple formula for writing your values. Spend a little time on this over the weekend. For every value there must be a principle upon which it is based. For example: If the Principle is Trust, then the Value could be – I will always speak as though the people I am talking about can hear my every word. Now with that as a value, live accordingly.
Next week we begin with a discussion on “Objectives” the “O” in finding your V.O.I.C.E.
Please comment and I encourage you to refer this site to your friends, and colleagues.
I received a comment to yesterday’s message (we all need to be brave and post our comments on the site) that raised a very important point about values. The comment was that sometimes our values are constantly changing because of external influences such as friends, politics, or even religion. Because of this sometimes we shy away from those that have values that are in conflict with our own. However, at times these same influences are strong enough to change our values. So then, how can we have values that don’t change? This brings us back to my days on the Appalachian Trail.
When I went hiking I always carried two things for guidance. The first was a Guide to Trails which included a map and description of the trail I was hiking on. The second was a compass. The trail guide with included maps is the equivalent of our values. Our values provide a description or map of what we believe. This description is very useful, but a map is only a subjective description of what it stands for. If two people drew a map of the same place, or held the same values, the maps and the values would be slightly or dramatically different. A compass however is not subjective. North on a compass is based on a principle called Magnetic North. The magnetic needle on a compass will always point to magnetic north no matter which way you turn (externally influence). The direction of the compass is unchanging, principle centered direction.
As we end our discussion this week on Values, think in terms of a compass not just a map. Base your values on principles such as integrity, honesty, or trust. This results in values that will not change with the influences of society, friends, or the latest fad. Here is my simple formula for writing your values. Spend a little time on this over the weekend. For every value there must be a principle upon which it is based. For example: If the Principle is Trust, then the Value could be – I will always speak as though the people I am talking about can hear my every word. Now with that as a value, live accordingly.
Next week we begin with a discussion on “Objectives” the “O” in finding your V.O.I.C.E.
Please comment and I encourage you to refer this site to your friends, and colleagues.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Everyone Has Values - But Do You Live Them
It is probably appropriate to start off today talking about this thing we call Values. As we prepare for today's inauguration, we recall the election which we are told was decided on values. The presumption was that Bush had values, and Kerry did not. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Both candidates had values, it just appears that Bush did a better job of articulating his.
Values are critical to finding your V.O.I.C.E. Our values become the living embodiment of who we are and they speak for us in what we do. In reality, values are simple to understand as they are nothing more than what is accepted within a society. Our values are usually personal and are often debatable, particularly among those that do not agree with or share our values. Since values are subjective (yours and mine may not agree) they can cause great emotion both within those that believe in them and those that do not.
In finding your V.O.I.C.E. we must take values a step further. The values that matter here are those that are based upon principles. The principles upon which your values are based are what make them enduring and meaningful. This is true because principles are self-evident and unchanging. Principles do not require belief or agreement. Gravity is a principle. Whether or not you believe in it, gravity will always have an impact in your life. Values based on principles can not and do not change. They have clear consequences. Values when based on principles are evident not only in your statements or what you put on paper, but they are evident in your actions. It is your principle based values that cause you to be on your Ps and Qs even when no one is watching. Frankly, principle based values are the clear difference between winners and losers.
Everyone understands what I will call the "big" values, such as honesty, trust, loving your fellow man. These are certainly important values. However, what I want you to consider are the smaller values that are equally important, such as teamwork, risk taking, or pursuing excellence in all you do. One value that is important in my life these days is seeing other people as having needs, hopes, cares and fears that are equal to mine. This is rather than seeing them as nuisances, irritants or problems.
The values in giving your life V.O.I.C.E. require regular reflection and thought. Think about your values today. If you are living them then you are taking a step to giving your life V.O.I.C.E. and everyone around you will notice.
I encourage you to post your comments and share this information with your friends and colleagues.
Values are critical to finding your V.O.I.C.E. Our values become the living embodiment of who we are and they speak for us in what we do. In reality, values are simple to understand as they are nothing more than what is accepted within a society. Our values are usually personal and are often debatable, particularly among those that do not agree with or share our values. Since values are subjective (yours and mine may not agree) they can cause great emotion both within those that believe in them and those that do not.
In finding your V.O.I.C.E. we must take values a step further. The values that matter here are those that are based upon principles. The principles upon which your values are based are what make them enduring and meaningful. This is true because principles are self-evident and unchanging. Principles do not require belief or agreement. Gravity is a principle. Whether or not you believe in it, gravity will always have an impact in your life. Values based on principles can not and do not change. They have clear consequences. Values when based on principles are evident not only in your statements or what you put on paper, but they are evident in your actions. It is your principle based values that cause you to be on your Ps and Qs even when no one is watching. Frankly, principle based values are the clear difference between winners and losers.
Everyone understands what I will call the "big" values, such as honesty, trust, loving your fellow man. These are certainly important values. However, what I want you to consider are the smaller values that are equally important, such as teamwork, risk taking, or pursuing excellence in all you do. One value that is important in my life these days is seeing other people as having needs, hopes, cares and fears that are equal to mine. This is rather than seeing them as nuisances, irritants or problems.
The values in giving your life V.O.I.C.E. require regular reflection and thought. Think about your values today. If you are living them then you are taking a step to giving your life V.O.I.C.E. and everyone around you will notice.
I encourage you to post your comments and share this information with your friends and colleagues.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Welcome to Finding Your V.O.I.C.E.
Welcome to Finding Your V.O.I.C.E. I created this to blog to post my regular observations and thoughts regarding the need for each of us to find our own voice in our lives. It is my belief that finding your voice provides both a clear sense of purpose and balance in our lives. As Stephen Covey writes in his new book "The 8th Habit" your voice is that place where our talent, passion, conscience, and need intersect. It is in finding our voice that we discover our unique, personal significance.
The work of Dr. Covey has been well documented and has stood the test of time from his writing of the 7 Habits, through to seminars and teaching worldwide. Through these teachings and those of other leaders I have come to believe that there is tremendous value in living a principle centered life. Looking back over my life I have seen the train wrecks caused by not living my life based on a solid set of values. Still, even now I don't always get it right. If you are reading this, chances are that you don't yet get it right every day either.
This blog is intended for each of us that wants to begin the process of getting it right. I say begin the process because I believe that getting it right will take the rest of our lives. This is the starting point for the rest of your life.
We start by defining what we mean when we say you must find your V.O.I.C.E. Finding your V.O.I.C.E. requires you to establish and honor your Values, set clear and written life Objectives, have Integrity in the space between stimulus and response (the moment of choice), understand that everything in life is the result of Choices and your point of view, and finally, what writer Noel Tichy wrote in his book "The Leadership Engine" what we will call E -cubed, which means having emotional energy and edge.
We will use this blog to provide regular commentary and advice to help you to find your V.O.I.C.E. and comment on our observations of life as we strive to live with our own V.O.I.C.E.
I invite your comments and encourage you to read often.
The work of Dr. Covey has been well documented and has stood the test of time from his writing of the 7 Habits, through to seminars and teaching worldwide. Through these teachings and those of other leaders I have come to believe that there is tremendous value in living a principle centered life. Looking back over my life I have seen the train wrecks caused by not living my life based on a solid set of values. Still, even now I don't always get it right. If you are reading this, chances are that you don't yet get it right every day either.
This blog is intended for each of us that wants to begin the process of getting it right. I say begin the process because I believe that getting it right will take the rest of our lives. This is the starting point for the rest of your life.
We start by defining what we mean when we say you must find your V.O.I.C.E. Finding your V.O.I.C.E. requires you to establish and honor your Values, set clear and written life Objectives, have Integrity in the space between stimulus and response (the moment of choice), understand that everything in life is the result of Choices and your point of view, and finally, what writer Noel Tichy wrote in his book "The Leadership Engine" what we will call E -cubed, which means having emotional energy and edge.
We will use this blog to provide regular commentary and advice to help you to find your V.O.I.C.E. and comment on our observations of life as we strive to live with our own V.O.I.C.E.
I invite your comments and encourage you to read often.
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