Time is of the essence. This is a legal term that is invoked in certain types of transactions. Generally the term means that there is a limited amount of time left to complete the transaction. This term is used to create a sense of urgency and to force someone to take action. I can only assume that those using this term do not generally believe that time is important until we reach the end of a transaction. Perhaps this points to one of the most important problems we have with our perceptions about time.
I was reading an article recently that mentioned the fact that most of us have a false perception about available time. In a recent survey college students were asked if they would be willing to make a specific time commitment. They were given a choice of making the commitment on that day or at a date exactly one week later at the same time. The consensus was that making a commitment on that day was not possible. However, when asked if they could make the same commitment exactly one week later at the same time, the general consensus was that yes they could make that time commitment. The researchers conducting this study were pointing out what is common among most people, not just college students. That is that we generally have a misperception about time that causes us to believe that we have less time at the present, but we will always have more time in the future. This misperception usually causes us to make time commitments in the future that we would not make today because we believe that we will have more time then. Of course in
reality when the future date arrives we have no more time than we had at the moment that we made the time commitment. This then results in our having to make adjustments and cancellations in order to make room for our now over committed schedule. The fix of course is to then schedule these events into the future once again when we believe that we will have more time.
This is a bit of an illness which I will for the sake of this article call “Time Bulimia.” I wish I could say that I coined this phrase, but I did not. I first read about the phrase in an article where someone referred to their boss as a time bulimic. This busy executive would “binge” by scheduling their days minute by minute in advance. The calendar would be quickly filled up with future events such that the executive’s schedule would be brimming over. Then, when the day came the executive would review their schedule and “purge” the events with a series of cancellations and rescheduling. I certainly do not want to trivialize the very serious illness of bulimia by comparing it to time management problems, but this comparison seems to me to be very appropriate. I would also argue that this sort of time management is a sickness and has many calamitous effects.
In the corporate world we see daily examples of this illness. We read of or directly witness the “heroics” of those workers that put in eighteen hour days running from project to project, or meeting to meeting. We canonize these workers as “extreme employees” and even often times reward them with more pay or promotions. We idolize those that can work the hardest, put in the most hours, and essentially live highly unbalanced lives. Those that don’t keep such schedules are labeled as lacking ambition, lazy, or uncommitted. I know that I personally have suffered from this disease often times placing too much on my plate binging on commitments only to later purge them with cancellations and rescheduling. We go through this binge and purge cycle until it all finally catches up with us and shows up in the form of fatigue, illness, stress, and broken relationships.
My understanding of bulimia tells me that sufferers generally have an unrealistic view of themselves. They are unable to see their physical features accurately. They look in the mirror and despite facts to the contrary see only a fat person. Their desire to be thin leads them to continuously do things that they believe will help them to achieve the body image they so desperately want. Time bulimics are similar. They have unrealistic perceptions about how much time they have available. They believe that they can always add on one more commitment. These sufferers are almost competitive with their missed sense of time. They brag about what time they get up, how little sleep they need, how long they work, and the “all nighters” they pull so frequently. They eat meals at their desk, multi-task to get more done and employ the latest in “time saving” technology to become even more efficient.
I am sure that you know a time bulimic. The tell tale signs are easy to spot. Look for someone that is always apologetic about missed commitments, or is frequently telling you that they are extremely busy. Another tell tale sign is that most time bulimics tend to look unhealthy. Look for the pale skin, or quickly growing extremities that come from bad meals, lack of sunshine, and failing to exercise regularly. Don’t be fooled by the lack of high tech gear. Not all time bulimics use high tech equipment. Many have the ability to over commit and yet keep their schedules in their heads. It is harder to root out these sufferers since they don’t refer to their calendar or schedule. Rather, these people are usually just missing most of the time. They are constantly running from place to place and event to event. In order to recognize these people you must listen carefully to their conversations. You will hear them use words like “I have to” or making statements that indicate that they have little control or choice over their many obligations. Their badge of honor is the events they attend, the committees they are on, the children’s games they never miss and their dual roles as bread winners and super mom/super dad. These folks are not nearly as obvious since on the surface they appear to be doing all of the right things. However, even for these people it is not that they are doing the wrong things, but rather that they are doing too many things.
We all need to slow down. Time maintains a constant pace. I like the quote by Margaret B Johnstone where she describes time as a “fixed income.” She says that the real problem facing most of us is how to live successfully within our daily allotment.
If my analogy of time bulimia is like similar diseases then those that you know who are suffering from it do not realize the problem they have. You can’t tell them they are sick and most don’t realize it until they suffer disastrous health consequences. Perhaps even you are suffering from this disease. Yet, you can’t see the negative image being created. I can only hope that reading this will cause you to stop just long enough to examine your time and decide whether or not changes might be in order. After all, we are only talking about time, and time is the stuff that life is made of.
You have to allow a certain amount of time in which you are doing nothing in order to have things occur to you, to let your mind think.
--Mortimer Adler.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Monday, March 14, 2005
Information Arbitrage
In the financial markets there is a term known as arbitrage. Arbitrage is commonly accepted as a method by which a financial transaction is carried out where there is a profit without risk. Arbitrage transactions were very a popular in the 80s with traders like Ivan Boesky. Boesky used arbitrage transactions to make millions and perhaps billions of dollars in deals where he would buy the stock of a company about to be taken over. After the takeover would be completed, Boesky would sell the stock and thereby make a huge profit. We later learned that Boesky’s deals were not really legal as he seemed to use information he had gained from company insiders to place his arbitrage bets.
Today arbitrage transactions still remain mostly in the finance arena. Institutions use arbitrage to buy a commodity or security at one price when they become aware that the same commodity or security can be sold in another market at some small profit. Such transactions require speed, low transaction costs, and access to legal information. This final component of today’s arbitrage transactions, legal information, is what I want to talk about.
We live in what some social scientist may someday refer to as the age of information or the age of knowledge. Our society has moved from a time in the 1500s when information was held in the control of an elite few, to today when a young child can perform a Google Search and acquire all of the information available around the globe on almost any subject. There is a certain equity that has developed today in that anyone with a free library card has access to documents and information that was heretofore beyond our imagination. Yet while access is free, we see so few people that avail themselves of this unlimited resource. I believe that it is this very phenomenon which has created modern arbitrage opportunities that we can now call “information arbitrage.”
In my work as a consultant I am an information arbitrageur. The majority of my work results in my obtaining information from one source, and in turn selling that information in the form of knowledge to another source. Within the areas of my expertise, the opportunities are endless. As I continually obtain information the available sources for the sale of that knowledge grows. However, in order to become an effective arbitrageur, you must learn to continually ask the question “how can I use this information?”
Information arbitrage is not new. I can recall my mother using information arbitrage when I was a child. She would scan the various sale sheets that arrived at our home each week in order to determine which of the local grocery stores had the best prices say for ground beef, breakfast cereal, or a five pound bag of potatoes. She would use these markets to purchase those items that we routinely used, and would then “offset” her profits to buy an item that she wanted to purchase for her. I see similar transactions on eBay. The apparent price variations or commodity availability around the country has created entrepreneurial opportunities for sellers. A seller in New York can purchase an item on sale in Manhattan, and in turn sell that item to a buyer in Idaho. The arbitrage opportunities are even greater for so called “must have items” where consumers are willing to pay above the market price to purchase something today that they might not otherwise get. These arbitrage opportunities include everything from the hottest concert tickets, to designer clothing.
In all of these cases someone is taking advantage of the vast sources of information that exists in our society. Information arbitrageurs are using this information to make profits from their knowledge. In this information and knowledge age we each have a chance to become arbitrageurs. We must increase our awareness of the world around us and begin to process the information we gain in our every day life. New ideas gained from conversations with friends and peers create arbitrage opportunities. A casual conversation with the postman can yield new knowledge that you can arbitrage in some way. A visit to your local grocery store or coffee shop brings to you new knowledge that has value. The key is to be on the alert for this knowledge, and to ask “what can I do with this information?”
Information arbitrage will not make you as wealthy as an Ivan Boesky. But if you begin to pay attention to information arbitrage opportunities, you will increase your knowledge and your value. And who knows, you might even save a little money on your purchases, and maybe even identify that next fashion trend that will make you an internet tycoon. The information is all around you. You only need to look and listen.
Today arbitrage transactions still remain mostly in the finance arena. Institutions use arbitrage to buy a commodity or security at one price when they become aware that the same commodity or security can be sold in another market at some small profit. Such transactions require speed, low transaction costs, and access to legal information. This final component of today’s arbitrage transactions, legal information, is what I want to talk about.
We live in what some social scientist may someday refer to as the age of information or the age of knowledge. Our society has moved from a time in the 1500s when information was held in the control of an elite few, to today when a young child can perform a Google Search and acquire all of the information available around the globe on almost any subject. There is a certain equity that has developed today in that anyone with a free library card has access to documents and information that was heretofore beyond our imagination. Yet while access is free, we see so few people that avail themselves of this unlimited resource. I believe that it is this very phenomenon which has created modern arbitrage opportunities that we can now call “information arbitrage.”
In my work as a consultant I am an information arbitrageur. The majority of my work results in my obtaining information from one source, and in turn selling that information in the form of knowledge to another source. Within the areas of my expertise, the opportunities are endless. As I continually obtain information the available sources for the sale of that knowledge grows. However, in order to become an effective arbitrageur, you must learn to continually ask the question “how can I use this information?”
Information arbitrage is not new. I can recall my mother using information arbitrage when I was a child. She would scan the various sale sheets that arrived at our home each week in order to determine which of the local grocery stores had the best prices say for ground beef, breakfast cereal, or a five pound bag of potatoes. She would use these markets to purchase those items that we routinely used, and would then “offset” her profits to buy an item that she wanted to purchase for her. I see similar transactions on eBay. The apparent price variations or commodity availability around the country has created entrepreneurial opportunities for sellers. A seller in New York can purchase an item on sale in Manhattan, and in turn sell that item to a buyer in Idaho. The arbitrage opportunities are even greater for so called “must have items” where consumers are willing to pay above the market price to purchase something today that they might not otherwise get. These arbitrage opportunities include everything from the hottest concert tickets, to designer clothing.
In all of these cases someone is taking advantage of the vast sources of information that exists in our society. Information arbitrageurs are using this information to make profits from their knowledge. In this information and knowledge age we each have a chance to become arbitrageurs. We must increase our awareness of the world around us and begin to process the information we gain in our every day life. New ideas gained from conversations with friends and peers create arbitrage opportunities. A casual conversation with the postman can yield new knowledge that you can arbitrage in some way. A visit to your local grocery store or coffee shop brings to you new knowledge that has value. The key is to be on the alert for this knowledge, and to ask “what can I do with this information?”
Information arbitrage will not make you as wealthy as an Ivan Boesky. But if you begin to pay attention to information arbitrage opportunities, you will increase your knowledge and your value. And who knows, you might even save a little money on your purchases, and maybe even identify that next fashion trend that will make you an internet tycoon. The information is all around you. You only need to look and listen.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Edge Makes The Difference
This morning a news story on National Public Radio caught my attention. The story chronicled the 75th anniversary of Mahatma Gandhi’s “Dandi March”, which is also known as the “Salt March.” Tomorrow people from across the globe will join together to re-enact this march which encompasses some 241 miles to the beach in Dandi Gujarat. The Dandi March is considered by many to be the biggest and most successful of the defiance campaigns initiated by Gandhi. At the age of 61 he walked to the sea to perform a simple act of making salt. In doing so he defied the mighty British Empire and the laws that they had established prohibiting the people of India from making salt.
In 1965 on the March 7, some 600 marchers headed east out of Selma, Alabama onto route 80 headed towards Montgomery, Alabama. These marchers walked only six blocks before they were met by police, police dogs, water cannons, and brutal force. Two more attempts would be required before these people could reach their goal in Montgomery. They were marching to achieve the right to vote for African Americans.
Sometimes a message can hit you so hard that you reel backwards from the awesome weight of its significance. As I spent time today thinking about these two events, I could not help but immediately see the similarity. It is well known that Martin Luther King Junior both studied and admired Gandhi. Many of the tactics used by the Civil Rights Movement in the United States were modeled on Gandhi’s non-violence principals. I can’t help but to also believe that the very timing of the march may well have coincided with that historic march taken up by a man in his 60’s some thirty-five years before. Each of these singular events sparked a movement and a sea change for a nation. Gandhi moved his people against the tyranny of the British Empire, while King moved his people against unfair laws and policies in the United States.
Writers and historians far more significant than me have written about these events. I have no illusions that I can add anything more eloquent to the discourse that has already been provided. Instead I raise these two points to highlight a more current issue. The issue I want to address is the absence of Edge.
Gandhi and King held strong convictions. They spoke about the things that they believed in. But more than their words, each of these men in their own way acted. In each case they stood up against forces that they believed were wrong. Given the times in which each of these men lived the risks they faced were enormous. Each man knew that their actions could well cost them their lives. Each man suffered jail time for their actions, and each of them were beaten or otherwise physically abused for fighting for what they believed in. Gandhi and King were men that possessed deep courage. They were men that understood “Edge.”
Every day I see and I experience so many examples that tell me that Edge is gone from our society. I speak with workers that accept unfair work practices or treatment from immoral or corrupt bosses and employers; I see parents that give up on their rebellious teenagers; and I see friends not standing by friends in times of need. In each of these cases I see a lack of Edge when the stakes are high. I see professionals in the work place that have become so convinced of their self-importance that they have lost sight of productivity, or customers or meaning. People are too afraid or too complacent to make a difference.
Our world is full of far too many examples of people that don’t have Edge. We see repeated random acts of callousness. We ignore or condone injustices as long as they are not being done to us. We want more, we get more, and we do less. We abandon people that need us most, because we are too busy or perhaps too important to stop for a moment to understand their troubles. We only look out for ourselves, and don’t consider needs of the world around us.
Gandhi and King risked their lives to start movements that changed their worlds. Their singular actions did not effect change overnight. They endured personal hardships. They suffered in jails and experienced many forms of abuse. They used Edge to make a change that did not benefit them. They gave their lives to make a difference.
I want you to ask yourself some questions today. What have you done lately to improve the circumstances of someone other than yourself? I am not asking if you have risked your life for a cause. Rather, I am asking something simpler. Have you picked anyone up that you knew was down? Have you made a difference in the life of someone else this week? What are you celebrating? Is it a great meeting, or an incredible sale? Have you celebrated the joy of a child? Have you high fived the hug of a loved one? Have you been seen thrusting your fist in the air saying “Yes!” because of someone that you helped? Are you doing what matters?
As you began this day you were given yet another opportunity to make a difference. First, express gratitude for the 24 hours you have been given today. Next, shake off all of the negative thoughts you have had today about the weather, traffic, or the coffee being colder than you like it. Decide now that starting today you will make a difference. You will say what needs to be said when an injustice is being done. Today you will say no to your unhealthy urges and impulses. Today you will sincerely thank someone, listen to someone, and hug someone.
Your actions today will not change the world. But you may inspire another who will someday make a difference, and in that small way, you too will have made a difference. We have our history to teach us about how small actions can change the world. Take the time to act now.
In 1965 on the March 7, some 600 marchers headed east out of Selma, Alabama onto route 80 headed towards Montgomery, Alabama. These marchers walked only six blocks before they were met by police, police dogs, water cannons, and brutal force. Two more attempts would be required before these people could reach their goal in Montgomery. They were marching to achieve the right to vote for African Americans.
Sometimes a message can hit you so hard that you reel backwards from the awesome weight of its significance. As I spent time today thinking about these two events, I could not help but immediately see the similarity. It is well known that Martin Luther King Junior both studied and admired Gandhi. Many of the tactics used by the Civil Rights Movement in the United States were modeled on Gandhi’s non-violence principals. I can’t help but to also believe that the very timing of the march may well have coincided with that historic march taken up by a man in his 60’s some thirty-five years before. Each of these singular events sparked a movement and a sea change for a nation. Gandhi moved his people against the tyranny of the British Empire, while King moved his people against unfair laws and policies in the United States.
Writers and historians far more significant than me have written about these events. I have no illusions that I can add anything more eloquent to the discourse that has already been provided. Instead I raise these two points to highlight a more current issue. The issue I want to address is the absence of Edge.
Gandhi and King held strong convictions. They spoke about the things that they believed in. But more than their words, each of these men in their own way acted. In each case they stood up against forces that they believed were wrong. Given the times in which each of these men lived the risks they faced were enormous. Each man knew that their actions could well cost them their lives. Each man suffered jail time for their actions, and each of them were beaten or otherwise physically abused for fighting for what they believed in. Gandhi and King were men that possessed deep courage. They were men that understood “Edge.”
Every day I see and I experience so many examples that tell me that Edge is gone from our society. I speak with workers that accept unfair work practices or treatment from immoral or corrupt bosses and employers; I see parents that give up on their rebellious teenagers; and I see friends not standing by friends in times of need. In each of these cases I see a lack of Edge when the stakes are high. I see professionals in the work place that have become so convinced of their self-importance that they have lost sight of productivity, or customers or meaning. People are too afraid or too complacent to make a difference.
Our world is full of far too many examples of people that don’t have Edge. We see repeated random acts of callousness. We ignore or condone injustices as long as they are not being done to us. We want more, we get more, and we do less. We abandon people that need us most, because we are too busy or perhaps too important to stop for a moment to understand their troubles. We only look out for ourselves, and don’t consider needs of the world around us.
Gandhi and King risked their lives to start movements that changed their worlds. Their singular actions did not effect change overnight. They endured personal hardships. They suffered in jails and experienced many forms of abuse. They used Edge to make a change that did not benefit them. They gave their lives to make a difference.
I want you to ask yourself some questions today. What have you done lately to improve the circumstances of someone other than yourself? I am not asking if you have risked your life for a cause. Rather, I am asking something simpler. Have you picked anyone up that you knew was down? Have you made a difference in the life of someone else this week? What are you celebrating? Is it a great meeting, or an incredible sale? Have you celebrated the joy of a child? Have you high fived the hug of a loved one? Have you been seen thrusting your fist in the air saying “Yes!” because of someone that you helped? Are you doing what matters?
As you began this day you were given yet another opportunity to make a difference. First, express gratitude for the 24 hours you have been given today. Next, shake off all of the negative thoughts you have had today about the weather, traffic, or the coffee being colder than you like it. Decide now that starting today you will make a difference. You will say what needs to be said when an injustice is being done. Today you will say no to your unhealthy urges and impulses. Today you will sincerely thank someone, listen to someone, and hug someone.
Your actions today will not change the world. But you may inspire another who will someday make a difference, and in that small way, you too will have made a difference. We have our history to teach us about how small actions can change the world. Take the time to act now.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Life and Basketball
It’s official. Today in our house the madness begins. It is the time of year when we lose all sense of time, and we plan our lives around basketball. It is March Madness time, and when it comes to College Basketball, our home takes on a very different flavor.
I have been a fan of College Basketball for about 25 years. In the years prior to that my idea of a great basketball game was watching Julius Irving playing for the Philadelphia 76ers. I enjoyed the on court style of Walt “Clyde” Frazier, the quickness of Henry Bibby (the senior not the junior), or the battles between Bill Russell and Wilt “the stilt” Chamberlain. In those days the professional game was my first love. But, I can remember when I began to love college basketball. It was the game between NC State and the University of Houston Cougars.
Every basketball fan knows that NC State, headed by their coach Jim Valvano, won the NCAA championship in 1983. Every weekend over the next three weeks you will see a replay of the end of the game between Houston and NC State. I watched that game and can remember the excitement. That year I was rooting for Houston, and the famed “Phi Slamma Jamma” team headed up by Hakeem Olajuwon and Clyde “the glide” Drexler. The team was ranked number one heading into the tournament and the “smart money” knew that this was the team that was going to win the National Championship. Sometimes the smart money is not so smart.
Houston played Louisville in the semi-final game. The Houston team was known for its breathtaking quickness and leaping ability. Led by its two superstars, this team was fun to watch. A sure bet to win against Louisville. They not only won this game, but did so in convincing style with incredible acrobatic displays of dunks by Drexler and Olajuwon. In the other semi-final game, NC State played in almost pedestrian style, beating their opponent, the Georgia Bulldogs.
With the NC State and Houston victories in the semi-finals, the National Championship game was set. This was almost a David against Goliath scenario. NC State was coming off of a lackluster season during which they lost ten games. Their winning performances in the tournament included a double overtime victory and a win by just one point in the Regional Final. One writer is known to have commented that the championship game would be the Varsity team against the Junior Varsity team.
In sports and in life the race does not always go to the swiftest. NC State used a tight defense to shut down Houston’s most valuable weapon which was speed, and high flying dunks. Valvano coached an otherwise unremarkable group of young men (they had acquired the nickname “the cardiac pack” because of their narrow victories) to perform at the peak of their abilities. They developed a strategy to slow down the game that Houston had depended on.
This game had all of the drama that the NCAA tournament is known for. But in the end, a little known sophomore named Lorenzo Charles would become the hero. After battling all night with the taller and more powerful Olajuwon, it was Lorenzo Charles whose quick reflexes and ball sense caused him to react to a missed thirty foot shot to make a dunk in the final seconds winning the game 54 – 52.
We use sports as a metaphor for so many things in life. I find myself constantly making references to those metaphors over and over again. Usually we devote our attention to the professionals. Those that have talent beyond mere mortals like us. Men and women that have built careers based on their natural gifts and abilities. We admire their rock star status and read stories about their fame and fortune. But the college game is different. The men and women playing in the NCAA Tournament are mostly playing for their love of their game. This year, those that are seniors will probably play their last game in front of a large audience. They will graduate from college, and begin otherwise less glamorous lives. They will join the ranks of the professional working world, and just like you and me begin to live an ordinary existence.
I watch the NCAA tournament with my children. We talk often during the games about the thrill of being able to play on a national stage, displaying the very best that you can do. Being Pittsburgh fans, our team has lost each year in the “Sweet Sixteen.” But every year as we watch the tournament we learn lessons of overcoming the odds. We hear the stories of the kid that never should have made it. We see profiles of outstanding student athletes that teach us all that there are plenty of decent and smart athletes in the world of sports. And we also go through the heartbreak when our favored teams lose a game.
Perhaps you are not a sports fan as you read this. Maybe you don’t agree with my feelings about the thrill of college basketball. You might even be too busy to watch some of the 90 different games that will be aired just this week. That is understandable. But if you can get a minute, take some time out to watch a game this week. Watching these games you regain your sense of hope for our younger generation. Sure, some don’t act properly, and there are still too many jerks in sports. But if you can watch the games you will see parents in the stands. You will hear stories of young men and women overcoming adversity. And if you pay close attention, you will see diversity that goes beyond what we talk about in boardrooms. You will see the human spirit rise and fall with wins and losses.
My children mark the years with me watching the NCAA Tournament. We share many memories of tournaments past. Yes, there still are not many good reasons to watch TV, but for the next three weeks, my eyes will be on the tube, watching the game. It will be family time like none other, and maybe just maybe this year our team will go just a little bit farther than last year.
Maybe it is true that basketball is not an appropriate metaphor for life. Maybe we devote too much attention to sports and athletes in this country. Maybe athletes should not be role models. I agree with all of these. But when I watch the tournament I see a different picture. I see examples of group leadership. I see team building in the coaches and players. I see people doing their very best, win or lose. I watch the college game with my children, and I know that we learn something new every year. It's not about life, it's just about basketball, and we love it.
I have been a fan of College Basketball for about 25 years. In the years prior to that my idea of a great basketball game was watching Julius Irving playing for the Philadelphia 76ers. I enjoyed the on court style of Walt “Clyde” Frazier, the quickness of Henry Bibby (the senior not the junior), or the battles between Bill Russell and Wilt “the stilt” Chamberlain. In those days the professional game was my first love. But, I can remember when I began to love college basketball. It was the game between NC State and the University of Houston Cougars.
Every basketball fan knows that NC State, headed by their coach Jim Valvano, won the NCAA championship in 1983. Every weekend over the next three weeks you will see a replay of the end of the game between Houston and NC State. I watched that game and can remember the excitement. That year I was rooting for Houston, and the famed “Phi Slamma Jamma” team headed up by Hakeem Olajuwon and Clyde “the glide” Drexler. The team was ranked number one heading into the tournament and the “smart money” knew that this was the team that was going to win the National Championship. Sometimes the smart money is not so smart.
Houston played Louisville in the semi-final game. The Houston team was known for its breathtaking quickness and leaping ability. Led by its two superstars, this team was fun to watch. A sure bet to win against Louisville. They not only won this game, but did so in convincing style with incredible acrobatic displays of dunks by Drexler and Olajuwon. In the other semi-final game, NC State played in almost pedestrian style, beating their opponent, the Georgia Bulldogs.
With the NC State and Houston victories in the semi-finals, the National Championship game was set. This was almost a David against Goliath scenario. NC State was coming off of a lackluster season during which they lost ten games. Their winning performances in the tournament included a double overtime victory and a win by just one point in the Regional Final. One writer is known to have commented that the championship game would be the Varsity team against the Junior Varsity team.
In sports and in life the race does not always go to the swiftest. NC State used a tight defense to shut down Houston’s most valuable weapon which was speed, and high flying dunks. Valvano coached an otherwise unremarkable group of young men (they had acquired the nickname “the cardiac pack” because of their narrow victories) to perform at the peak of their abilities. They developed a strategy to slow down the game that Houston had depended on.
This game had all of the drama that the NCAA tournament is known for. But in the end, a little known sophomore named Lorenzo Charles would become the hero. After battling all night with the taller and more powerful Olajuwon, it was Lorenzo Charles whose quick reflexes and ball sense caused him to react to a missed thirty foot shot to make a dunk in the final seconds winning the game 54 – 52.
We use sports as a metaphor for so many things in life. I find myself constantly making references to those metaphors over and over again. Usually we devote our attention to the professionals. Those that have talent beyond mere mortals like us. Men and women that have built careers based on their natural gifts and abilities. We admire their rock star status and read stories about their fame and fortune. But the college game is different. The men and women playing in the NCAA Tournament are mostly playing for their love of their game. This year, those that are seniors will probably play their last game in front of a large audience. They will graduate from college, and begin otherwise less glamorous lives. They will join the ranks of the professional working world, and just like you and me begin to live an ordinary existence.
I watch the NCAA tournament with my children. We talk often during the games about the thrill of being able to play on a national stage, displaying the very best that you can do. Being Pittsburgh fans, our team has lost each year in the “Sweet Sixteen.” But every year as we watch the tournament we learn lessons of overcoming the odds. We hear the stories of the kid that never should have made it. We see profiles of outstanding student athletes that teach us all that there are plenty of decent and smart athletes in the world of sports. And we also go through the heartbreak when our favored teams lose a game.
Perhaps you are not a sports fan as you read this. Maybe you don’t agree with my feelings about the thrill of college basketball. You might even be too busy to watch some of the 90 different games that will be aired just this week. That is understandable. But if you can get a minute, take some time out to watch a game this week. Watching these games you regain your sense of hope for our younger generation. Sure, some don’t act properly, and there are still too many jerks in sports. But if you can watch the games you will see parents in the stands. You will hear stories of young men and women overcoming adversity. And if you pay close attention, you will see diversity that goes beyond what we talk about in boardrooms. You will see the human spirit rise and fall with wins and losses.
My children mark the years with me watching the NCAA Tournament. We share many memories of tournaments past. Yes, there still are not many good reasons to watch TV, but for the next three weeks, my eyes will be on the tube, watching the game. It will be family time like none other, and maybe just maybe this year our team will go just a little bit farther than last year.
Maybe it is true that basketball is not an appropriate metaphor for life. Maybe we devote too much attention to sports and athletes in this country. Maybe athletes should not be role models. I agree with all of these. But when I watch the tournament I see a different picture. I see examples of group leadership. I see team building in the coaches and players. I see people doing their very best, win or lose. I watch the college game with my children, and I know that we learn something new every year. It's not about life, it's just about basketball, and we love it.
Monday, March 07, 2005
The Seventh Deadly Sin
As a young child one of my favorite activities during the spring time was sitting on the front stoop of our house and just closing my eyes and soaking in the sun. I enjoyed the way that the sun would warm the steps and the feeling on my face after enduring the harsh coldness of winter. I thought that I could sit on those steps for hours, until of course my focus would shift to more pressing matters that might concern a child of six or seven.
One of those things I seemed to spend a lot of time doing then was trying to start fires. This was not your child playing in the house with matches sort of thing, but rather I would try to burn leaves or grass with my magnifying glass. I would be so excited when I could cause a leaf to begin to smoke with the focused power of the sun. And like most kids, I would sometimes point that focus on my skin just to see how it felt. Those same sun rays that I enjoyed on my face were not so enjoyable when focused to a pinpoint through my magnifying glass. It took only seconds for the rays to burn the skin and I would always jerk my hand back in total surprise as though I had not done this before.
Those days on the front stoop taught me much about the power of focused energy. My simple experiment taught me of the destructive power of focus, but today we know how the focused power of light through lasers brings vast benefits to our modern society. In fact today the power of focused laser beams can even improve the vision of a guy like me.
We readily recognize the benefits of focus. All of us have said at one time or another that we really need to focus to get things done. What we may not realize however is the high price of failing to focus. A recent article in the Opinion section of the Wall Street Journal talked about failing to focus. It named failure to focus as the seventh deadly sin and accounts such failure as one of the seven reasons that Carly Fiorina was ousted at Hewlett Packard. In short, they believe that Carly lost her job because she took on too many tasks. The result was that her lack of focus caused her not to be able to achieve her company’s priorities.
We seem to worship the superman or superwoman syndrome in our society. We admire those that have it all, or want it all. But the fact is that you just can’t do it all. We advocate “to do” lists and we have countless “yellow stickies” posted everywhere. Perhaps you even have a “some day maybe” list for those things that you might get to do some day. These may well be excellent tools to remind us of tasks unfinished, but they speak to a lack of focused energy.
I read a book a few years ago that established the four “Ds” of focused activity. They are as follows:
Dump It – just say no to certain activities
Delegate it – Determine if someone else might be better at doing a task than you
Defer it – Things you need to do but not right now. Schedule these things
Do it - Things to do right now which are your most important projects
Another recommendation is to limit even your to do list. One thought on this is to limit your list to no more than two or three things. The mind begins to wander when too many choices are available. When your list is too long, you will tend to focus on activities that are not necessarily the most important, but rather the easiest. I recommend the list of three. You can be very clear about your priorities when the list is short. Now before you scoff at this idea, let me say that I know you have more than three things to do. You may have a hundred things to do. But let’s be real folks, right now you are not doing any of them. So why not do just three? Get an index card and write down three things that you will do today. No more than three and no less than three. Start on the first thing on the list first. When the list is done, you throw away the card and make a new list. Think of the opportunities to celebrate and throw your hands in the air as you rip up the completed list. Focus brings success.
Using the power of focus you can identify your priorities. Your priorities are the things that you promised yourself or others that you would do. These are your main things and you must always keep the main things the main thing.
So right now, before you move to another blog or your next task, take out a card and write your list. Focus will get things done, but take an example from Carly, a lack of focus can be deadly.
One of those things I seemed to spend a lot of time doing then was trying to start fires. This was not your child playing in the house with matches sort of thing, but rather I would try to burn leaves or grass with my magnifying glass. I would be so excited when I could cause a leaf to begin to smoke with the focused power of the sun. And like most kids, I would sometimes point that focus on my skin just to see how it felt. Those same sun rays that I enjoyed on my face were not so enjoyable when focused to a pinpoint through my magnifying glass. It took only seconds for the rays to burn the skin and I would always jerk my hand back in total surprise as though I had not done this before.
Those days on the front stoop taught me much about the power of focused energy. My simple experiment taught me of the destructive power of focus, but today we know how the focused power of light through lasers brings vast benefits to our modern society. In fact today the power of focused laser beams can even improve the vision of a guy like me.
We readily recognize the benefits of focus. All of us have said at one time or another that we really need to focus to get things done. What we may not realize however is the high price of failing to focus. A recent article in the Opinion section of the Wall Street Journal talked about failing to focus. It named failure to focus as the seventh deadly sin and accounts such failure as one of the seven reasons that Carly Fiorina was ousted at Hewlett Packard. In short, they believe that Carly lost her job because she took on too many tasks. The result was that her lack of focus caused her not to be able to achieve her company’s priorities.
We seem to worship the superman or superwoman syndrome in our society. We admire those that have it all, or want it all. But the fact is that you just can’t do it all. We advocate “to do” lists and we have countless “yellow stickies” posted everywhere. Perhaps you even have a “some day maybe” list for those things that you might get to do some day. These may well be excellent tools to remind us of tasks unfinished, but they speak to a lack of focused energy.
I read a book a few years ago that established the four “Ds” of focused activity. They are as follows:
Dump It – just say no to certain activities
Delegate it – Determine if someone else might be better at doing a task than you
Defer it – Things you need to do but not right now. Schedule these things
Do it - Things to do right now which are your most important projects
Another recommendation is to limit even your to do list. One thought on this is to limit your list to no more than two or three things. The mind begins to wander when too many choices are available. When your list is too long, you will tend to focus on activities that are not necessarily the most important, but rather the easiest. I recommend the list of three. You can be very clear about your priorities when the list is short. Now before you scoff at this idea, let me say that I know you have more than three things to do. You may have a hundred things to do. But let’s be real folks, right now you are not doing any of them. So why not do just three? Get an index card and write down three things that you will do today. No more than three and no less than three. Start on the first thing on the list first. When the list is done, you throw away the card and make a new list. Think of the opportunities to celebrate and throw your hands in the air as you rip up the completed list. Focus brings success.
Using the power of focus you can identify your priorities. Your priorities are the things that you promised yourself or others that you would do. These are your main things and you must always keep the main things the main thing.
So right now, before you move to another blog or your next task, take out a card and write your list. Focus will get things done, but take an example from Carly, a lack of focus can be deadly.
Friday, March 04, 2005
We Are Better Together
My consulting practice consists of one person. I am the classic small business. I hold all of the relevant titles in my company. I am the CEO as well as head of the Shipping Department. I hold the dual positions of Inventory Clerk and Director of Information Technology. I author the work product that is generated here, and I also print, post, and mail all of the letters. I do it all.
Recently while writing a letter I found myself making repeated references to “we” in the letter. The letter included statements like “We will follow up with you within the next several days” or “We are happy to present to you this proposal.” Given the solitary nature of my work I had to stop and laugh at myself and wonder why this whole business of “we” was so essential to representing my abilities. Perhaps it is because I believe that “we” makes “us” sound so much more substantial. It is a sense that “we” can be trusted at a higher level than just “me.”
I realize that in the case of my business saying “we” will do something gives the impression that even if I should be unable to perform, there are other people that will step in and deliver on “our” commitments. There is a sense of comfort that comes with the knowledge that we are not just depending on only one person. I guess that each of us has had too many experiences where one person acting alone has let us down. For the most part that person is you.
We make promises and commitments to ourselves all of the time. More often than not, we quickly break those promises or commitments. Maybe you have not experienced this in your own life, but I have countless stories of getting ready to, would have, or should have. The problem in most of these cases was that I was dependent solely upon me to deliver.
It is said that there are three levels of personal maturity. The lowest level is the dependent level. The second level is the independent level, and the highest level is the inter-dependent level. I think that the stages of life help to explain this as we watch children grow from dependent (infant through toddler); independent (the pre-teen, teenage and young adult stages); to inter-dependent (adult stage). Of course I could add that as life goes on we once again return to the dependent stage, but that is another story. These stages don’t work perfectly for everyone but I think you get the idea.
At the inter-dependent stage we learn lessons in trust and accountability. We discover at this stage that we are not in this alone and that there are those around that can help us to “carry the load” and we identify with our “responsibility” to others. Achieving this level can yield enormous results.
I have found that one excellent way to build your inter-dependence is to develop an “accountability partner.” An accountability partner is a person that you trust to keep you accountable and on track in certain areas of your life. Trust is an important ingredient here because an accountability partner is not a drill sergeant. Their job is not to make you feel bad, but to provide encouragement. An accountability partner is a person with whom you are totally honest, and is also accountable to you.
I have accountability partners in several areas of my life. I find that in different areas it is sometimes best to have different partners. Let me describe how this might work for you. Let’s say that you have made a commitment to regular exercise. Your commitment is to work out three to five days each week. First you must communicate to your accountability partner what you have committed to do. The job of your partner is to keep you on track. If you have committed to early morning exercise, your partner would call you every morning to make sure you are out of bed. If you are lucky your partner may also attend your gym or other exercise facility. Then they can go along with you to keep you on track. The key to the relationship is honesty and trust.
An accountability partner understands that with any new commitment there will be occasional lapses. Here is where the role of your partner is crucial. Your partner’s job is to provide encouragement when you lapse. Positive reinforcement of your stated goals and affirmation about the success you will achieve are the clearest motivators to get you back on track. When lapses become more frequent then firm prodding becomes the role of your partner. If lapses become persistent, it is then that your partner can and should become your drill sergeant.
When choosing an accountability partner it is important that you choose someone that you trust. An accountability partner has an immense responsibility and they must commit to the job for the defined period. It is sometimes helpful when starting out to have an agreement of mutual accountability. In that way you too are responsible to your partner in the same way that they are responsible to you. Communication is a key ingredient. You must clearly define the goals you have set and your partner must clearly understand your expectations.
When you commit to another person that you trust you have the added benefit of knowing that someone other than you is looking out for your best interest. What is true of my clients is also true of you. Sometimes depending on just you to get the job done is not sufficient. You need to know that “we” can be counted on to deliver, when “I” am unable to perform. Together you and your partner can achieve levels of personal success and reach a state of inter-dependence that is not possible working alone.
Recently while writing a letter I found myself making repeated references to “we” in the letter. The letter included statements like “We will follow up with you within the next several days” or “We are happy to present to you this proposal.” Given the solitary nature of my work I had to stop and laugh at myself and wonder why this whole business of “we” was so essential to representing my abilities. Perhaps it is because I believe that “we” makes “us” sound so much more substantial. It is a sense that “we” can be trusted at a higher level than just “me.”
I realize that in the case of my business saying “we” will do something gives the impression that even if I should be unable to perform, there are other people that will step in and deliver on “our” commitments. There is a sense of comfort that comes with the knowledge that we are not just depending on only one person. I guess that each of us has had too many experiences where one person acting alone has let us down. For the most part that person is you.
We make promises and commitments to ourselves all of the time. More often than not, we quickly break those promises or commitments. Maybe you have not experienced this in your own life, but I have countless stories of getting ready to, would have, or should have. The problem in most of these cases was that I was dependent solely upon me to deliver.
It is said that there are three levels of personal maturity. The lowest level is the dependent level. The second level is the independent level, and the highest level is the inter-dependent level. I think that the stages of life help to explain this as we watch children grow from dependent (infant through toddler); independent (the pre-teen, teenage and young adult stages); to inter-dependent (adult stage). Of course I could add that as life goes on we once again return to the dependent stage, but that is another story. These stages don’t work perfectly for everyone but I think you get the idea.
At the inter-dependent stage we learn lessons in trust and accountability. We discover at this stage that we are not in this alone and that there are those around that can help us to “carry the load” and we identify with our “responsibility” to others. Achieving this level can yield enormous results.
I have found that one excellent way to build your inter-dependence is to develop an “accountability partner.” An accountability partner is a person that you trust to keep you accountable and on track in certain areas of your life. Trust is an important ingredient here because an accountability partner is not a drill sergeant. Their job is not to make you feel bad, but to provide encouragement. An accountability partner is a person with whom you are totally honest, and is also accountable to you.
I have accountability partners in several areas of my life. I find that in different areas it is sometimes best to have different partners. Let me describe how this might work for you. Let’s say that you have made a commitment to regular exercise. Your commitment is to work out three to five days each week. First you must communicate to your accountability partner what you have committed to do. The job of your partner is to keep you on track. If you have committed to early morning exercise, your partner would call you every morning to make sure you are out of bed. If you are lucky your partner may also attend your gym or other exercise facility. Then they can go along with you to keep you on track. The key to the relationship is honesty and trust.
An accountability partner understands that with any new commitment there will be occasional lapses. Here is where the role of your partner is crucial. Your partner’s job is to provide encouragement when you lapse. Positive reinforcement of your stated goals and affirmation about the success you will achieve are the clearest motivators to get you back on track. When lapses become more frequent then firm prodding becomes the role of your partner. If lapses become persistent, it is then that your partner can and should become your drill sergeant.
When choosing an accountability partner it is important that you choose someone that you trust. An accountability partner has an immense responsibility and they must commit to the job for the defined period. It is sometimes helpful when starting out to have an agreement of mutual accountability. In that way you too are responsible to your partner in the same way that they are responsible to you. Communication is a key ingredient. You must clearly define the goals you have set and your partner must clearly understand your expectations.
When you commit to another person that you trust you have the added benefit of knowing that someone other than you is looking out for your best interest. What is true of my clients is also true of you. Sometimes depending on just you to get the job done is not sufficient. You need to know that “we” can be counted on to deliver, when “I” am unable to perform. Together you and your partner can achieve levels of personal success and reach a state of inter-dependence that is not possible working alone.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
It's The Vision Thing Again
Things are not always as they appear. I believe that this is true because lately I have been walking around with my chin protruded and my nose up in the air. An outsider might easily mistake this posture as that of an overly puffed up or snobbish person. As I have said though, some things are not always as they appear to be. The reason for my frequent protruding chin and pointed nose is that I have had to adjust my posture in order to see things clearly. Pointing my chin and nose allows my bifocals to work properly. Like most persons my age I suffer from a condition called myopia.
I never imagined myself as a person that would need to remove his glasses to see something up close. Yet, I can’t thread a needle or remove a splinter with my glasses on. While I have not yet had to ask someone to read the check for me at a restaurant, I know that day is coming. Lately I tend to recognize more people by their voice as they approach before I can actually make out their face. Being unable to see things far away changes your perspective.
I know dozens of people my age and even older that have no problem with myopia. They have the ability to see off into the distance with a degree of clarity that would make the Hubble envious. In fact their far seeing ability exceeds that of most people. Some of these people have won awards for this ability, and one close friend of mine is the self proclaimed champion in this area with abilities bordering on the supernatural. Some of us would call those people “worriers.”
Worry is the exact opposite of being myopic. A person that worries possesses the ability to determine the results of future events. They can play them out in horrific detail. Champion worriers have an added ability. Simply through their worry they can change the future. I know several persons with such skill that they are required to focus all of their attention on their current worry just to make sure things don’t turn out as they fear. This is a solitary skill as really good worrying is best done alone. Occasionally worriers do gather together. I have often observed group meetings of worriers testing their skills as a group forecasting the future. It seems to me though that group worry is the least efficient as they never seem to forecast properly.
Worriers have incredible powers of recall. They tend to rely heavily upon their past experiences in order to project exactly how things are going to go in the future. Sometimes worriers use reference material. The most common form of reference is my “girlfriend’s friend’s co-worker”, who has suffered some horrible fate in the past. These references are of course irrefutable since the worriers’ code requires the protection of sources and these persons therefore remain nameless.
I once tried to take a picture of a worrier. This is something that no man has ever attempted in the past. Yet each attempt was met with failure as the worrier would always get away before I could snap my shot. It seems that worriers have an uncanny ability to quickly project themselves into the future before you can catch them in the moment.
I think that most worriers could use a bit of myopia. Those of us that suffer from this condition know that myopia causes us to focus on what is right in front of us. No matter how hard you try when you are myopic you can’t see far enough to worry about what is ahead. You just focus on what is in front and move along a little at a time. Myopia also makes you squint. We do this in order to see things just a bit differently. Usually just adjusting your perspective is all that you need. Everything suddenly becomes clearer.
Somehow the older I get the worse my vision becomes. I can’t see very far. But then I never could predict the future. I can only really grasp what is directly in front of me. My focus is keener as I direct my attention to the task at hand, just inching along a little at a time. I know that there are really big things out there looming on the horizon, but my eye is on the present. I don’t worry much these days. Perhaps it is just a vision thing. Maybe I just can’t see far enough to worry about what might be out there. I do however find myself squinting quite often. Just changing my perspective causes me to know that the fuzzy thing I see up ahead is probably not so bad, and maybe if I just focus on one little bit at a time, paying attention to what is right before my nose, things will work out.
Come to think of it this whole myopia thing is not so bad. I can’t see as far as I once did. In fact all that I can see now is this present moment. This is the moment that is happening right now as I sit here writing this. This moment will never change. I think I will just stay here and squint for a minute. Just changing my perspective that way things always seem so much clearer to me.
I never imagined myself as a person that would need to remove his glasses to see something up close. Yet, I can’t thread a needle or remove a splinter with my glasses on. While I have not yet had to ask someone to read the check for me at a restaurant, I know that day is coming. Lately I tend to recognize more people by their voice as they approach before I can actually make out their face. Being unable to see things far away changes your perspective.
I know dozens of people my age and even older that have no problem with myopia. They have the ability to see off into the distance with a degree of clarity that would make the Hubble envious. In fact their far seeing ability exceeds that of most people. Some of these people have won awards for this ability, and one close friend of mine is the self proclaimed champion in this area with abilities bordering on the supernatural. Some of us would call those people “worriers.”
Worry is the exact opposite of being myopic. A person that worries possesses the ability to determine the results of future events. They can play them out in horrific detail. Champion worriers have an added ability. Simply through their worry they can change the future. I know several persons with such skill that they are required to focus all of their attention on their current worry just to make sure things don’t turn out as they fear. This is a solitary skill as really good worrying is best done alone. Occasionally worriers do gather together. I have often observed group meetings of worriers testing their skills as a group forecasting the future. It seems to me though that group worry is the least efficient as they never seem to forecast properly.
Worriers have incredible powers of recall. They tend to rely heavily upon their past experiences in order to project exactly how things are going to go in the future. Sometimes worriers use reference material. The most common form of reference is my “girlfriend’s friend’s co-worker”, who has suffered some horrible fate in the past. These references are of course irrefutable since the worriers’ code requires the protection of sources and these persons therefore remain nameless.
I once tried to take a picture of a worrier. This is something that no man has ever attempted in the past. Yet each attempt was met with failure as the worrier would always get away before I could snap my shot. It seems that worriers have an uncanny ability to quickly project themselves into the future before you can catch them in the moment.
I think that most worriers could use a bit of myopia. Those of us that suffer from this condition know that myopia causes us to focus on what is right in front of us. No matter how hard you try when you are myopic you can’t see far enough to worry about what is ahead. You just focus on what is in front and move along a little at a time. Myopia also makes you squint. We do this in order to see things just a bit differently. Usually just adjusting your perspective is all that you need. Everything suddenly becomes clearer.
Somehow the older I get the worse my vision becomes. I can’t see very far. But then I never could predict the future. I can only really grasp what is directly in front of me. My focus is keener as I direct my attention to the task at hand, just inching along a little at a time. I know that there are really big things out there looming on the horizon, but my eye is on the present. I don’t worry much these days. Perhaps it is just a vision thing. Maybe I just can’t see far enough to worry about what might be out there. I do however find myself squinting quite often. Just changing my perspective causes me to know that the fuzzy thing I see up ahead is probably not so bad, and maybe if I just focus on one little bit at a time, paying attention to what is right before my nose, things will work out.
Come to think of it this whole myopia thing is not so bad. I can’t see as far as I once did. In fact all that I can see now is this present moment. This is the moment that is happening right now as I sit here writing this. This moment will never change. I think I will just stay here and squint for a minute. Just changing my perspective that way things always seem so much clearer to me.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
How Do You Spell Success?
If someone were to ask you today how do you define success what would you say? For me there was a time when success meant having an important title, a big house, and an expensive sports car. That is until I achieved these things.
There was a time in my life before our children were born when my sense of success and achievement in the world was measured by possessions. What company you worked for, what car you drove, and how you spent your vacation where common conversations among friends. Parties and other social events required just the right clothing, and it always helped if perhaps your clothing label or articles of jewelry reflected the latest trend. If you did not have all of the latest trends, you set goals to one day own a “Tag”, or you knew the answer to the question “if you could own a Bmer, which one would it be?”
Thinking back to those days I either knew the answers to the questions, or could flick the wrist to show that the question was meaningless. I stood among my peers as an equal. I had achieved the things that were worth achieving and therefore deserved my place in the crowd. That was then.
Life has a way of changing our sense of what matters most. The birth of the twins gradually changed my sense of values. Unlike what I hear so many say, I did not change that moment in the delivery room. No, for me the process took several years. Still, I remember when the change began.
One Sunday morning I decided to take my family out for brunch and a nice Sunday drive in my new sports car. It was a beautiful spring day, not quite warm enough to put the top down in the car, but the sun was shining. The boys were somewhere between two and three years old. The boys got their usual breakfast which consisted of waffles and fruit, eggs and orange juice. We finished our meal and then took off on our Sunday drive. We were about three miles from the restaurant when one of our sons announced that his stomach hurt. With no safe place to stop the car I asked him if he thought he could hold on for a short time. He never had a chance to answer the question.
Every parent has a story about the inconvenient times that their child decided to relieve themselves of a bothersome meal. Every working parent has shown up at a meeting with stains representing at least one of the major food groups. We accept this as a badge of honor awarded to parents. If you are lucky the stain comes out, and you go on until the next event. Yet, there is something about the combination of waffle syrup, eggs, and orange juice that has the ability to remove the finish from most metals, and can change the color of carpeting forever. My son’s mishap in the back of my new sports car left a permanent reminder.
As I think back on that day now I remember my first concern being for the welfare of my son. I pulled the car over as quickly as I could in order to make sure that he was alright. Once I was assured that this was just a singular event probably caused by being in the back seat of a low slung car, I looked to see the damage. But what I felt in side was not what I expected. Suddenly this all seemed so trivial. A possession that I wanted for most of my adult life was suddenly to me nothing more than a car, and not the label that was emblazoned on the hood.
That day in the sports car was not an epiphany. However it marked the beginning of a process. I did not abandon my sense of possessions and status at that one defining moment. There would be many more years and many more moments before I would finally find my V.O.I.C.E. But on that spring day, with my young child, I saw that for him everything was right with the world. He had a smile on his face and wanted to know if we were still going to take our drive. We cleaned up the car, and back on the road we went enjoying the sunshine, and I enjoyed my new sense that I was not as happy with my possessions as I was with the joy of the road with my family.
A year later we sold that great sports car. I still take drives with the boys except that now it is on a scooter as we run errands on Saturday morning. With the scooter the top is always down, and the air is fresh. I think back to the days of the sports car and how complicated life was then. Perhaps by common standards I was more successful then than I am now. But for me I have found success in working every day to find my place in the world doing what I love. I still own a nice watch, and I have an appreciation for a well made automobile. These things are great, they just don't make you happy. I still enjoy a ride in a nice car. But now it is because of the company I keep. There are watches that keep impeccable time, and now I use them to count the hours until I will again be with those that I love. Things are just things now and people matter matter most.
My sons often ask if I would ever like to own that sports car again some day. Maybe some day I will but the reason will be different. Once the car made me proud and was evidence of my success. Today, I am a proud dad, and my success is reflected in the character of my children.
There was a time in my life before our children were born when my sense of success and achievement in the world was measured by possessions. What company you worked for, what car you drove, and how you spent your vacation where common conversations among friends. Parties and other social events required just the right clothing, and it always helped if perhaps your clothing label or articles of jewelry reflected the latest trend. If you did not have all of the latest trends, you set goals to one day own a “Tag”, or you knew the answer to the question “if you could own a Bmer, which one would it be?”
Thinking back to those days I either knew the answers to the questions, or could flick the wrist to show that the question was meaningless. I stood among my peers as an equal. I had achieved the things that were worth achieving and therefore deserved my place in the crowd. That was then.
Life has a way of changing our sense of what matters most. The birth of the twins gradually changed my sense of values. Unlike what I hear so many say, I did not change that moment in the delivery room. No, for me the process took several years. Still, I remember when the change began.
One Sunday morning I decided to take my family out for brunch and a nice Sunday drive in my new sports car. It was a beautiful spring day, not quite warm enough to put the top down in the car, but the sun was shining. The boys were somewhere between two and three years old. The boys got their usual breakfast which consisted of waffles and fruit, eggs and orange juice. We finished our meal and then took off on our Sunday drive. We were about three miles from the restaurant when one of our sons announced that his stomach hurt. With no safe place to stop the car I asked him if he thought he could hold on for a short time. He never had a chance to answer the question.
Every parent has a story about the inconvenient times that their child decided to relieve themselves of a bothersome meal. Every working parent has shown up at a meeting with stains representing at least one of the major food groups. We accept this as a badge of honor awarded to parents. If you are lucky the stain comes out, and you go on until the next event. Yet, there is something about the combination of waffle syrup, eggs, and orange juice that has the ability to remove the finish from most metals, and can change the color of carpeting forever. My son’s mishap in the back of my new sports car left a permanent reminder.
As I think back on that day now I remember my first concern being for the welfare of my son. I pulled the car over as quickly as I could in order to make sure that he was alright. Once I was assured that this was just a singular event probably caused by being in the back seat of a low slung car, I looked to see the damage. But what I felt in side was not what I expected. Suddenly this all seemed so trivial. A possession that I wanted for most of my adult life was suddenly to me nothing more than a car, and not the label that was emblazoned on the hood.
That day in the sports car was not an epiphany. However it marked the beginning of a process. I did not abandon my sense of possessions and status at that one defining moment. There would be many more years and many more moments before I would finally find my V.O.I.C.E. But on that spring day, with my young child, I saw that for him everything was right with the world. He had a smile on his face and wanted to know if we were still going to take our drive. We cleaned up the car, and back on the road we went enjoying the sunshine, and I enjoyed my new sense that I was not as happy with my possessions as I was with the joy of the road with my family.
A year later we sold that great sports car. I still take drives with the boys except that now it is on a scooter as we run errands on Saturday morning. With the scooter the top is always down, and the air is fresh. I think back to the days of the sports car and how complicated life was then. Perhaps by common standards I was more successful then than I am now. But for me I have found success in working every day to find my place in the world doing what I love. I still own a nice watch, and I have an appreciation for a well made automobile. These things are great, they just don't make you happy. I still enjoy a ride in a nice car. But now it is because of the company I keep. There are watches that keep impeccable time, and now I use them to count the hours until I will again be with those that I love. Things are just things now and people matter matter most.
My sons often ask if I would ever like to own that sports car again some day. Maybe some day I will but the reason will be different. Once the car made me proud and was evidence of my success. Today, I am a proud dad, and my success is reflected in the character of my children.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
The Brain Diet
For the past several days now I have been sputtering about. What seems to be happening is that my brain is not firing on all cylinders. This is probably not noticeable to most people around me and in fact may be viewed by some to be my normal state. I have been known to miss a beat every now and again. But this is something much more noticeable to me. There seems to be an absence of thought.
I really noticed this yesterday when I had a difficult time concentrating on a writing task. Even simple email messages were not written well. I needed to understand what the possible cause could be for such a problem. I needed to find answers, but realized that even answers are hard to come by when I find myself in this state. What I was experiencing was a mental malaise. I observed no other physical signs of trouble. Everything else seemed to be fine and in good working order.
When I experience a problem physically I usually try to think back to the events of the several days prior. A pain in the shoulder perhaps is related to the shoulder workout of two days ago when maybe I pushed too hard. The upset stomach at 2:00 in the morning can be traced back to the bowl of ice cream and Oreo cookies that I could not resist at 9:30. The dryness in my mouth can be quickly traced back to the unopened water bottles on my desk, and the empty third cup of coffee. But this brain drain, now that is something completely different.
After thinking about this for a little while the answer suddenly occurred to me. This was in itself a total surprise given my depleted mental state. Looking back over the weekend and the latter part of last week I had been starving my brain of nutrition. It all started with Friday when I spent the better part of the day lifting boxes and moving tables to set up for a non-profit fund raiser. The physical exhaustion from that activity caused me to just veg out on Friday night eating pizza, and way too much Coke. Then came Saturday, and more toting and bailing for the same fund raiser as we approached crunch time. The food was even worse of Saturday, Wendy’s for lunch, chicken wings and more Coke for dinner. Mentally I did even less. I sat in front of the television watching Pitt lose to Connecticut, and the movie Tomb Raider. I even stayed up late with the boys to play video games.
Sunday was more of the same. There was more basketball, movies, scanning the newspaper and searching on eBay. By Monday morning my brain was totally out of gas. Running on fumes I wrote several email messages, prepared a document for a client, and attended a lunch meeting.
Sometimes we kid ourselves into thinking that we can get by reading the newspaper or an occasional monthly magazine. These are really the intellectual equivalent of a Snickers bar. They are full of sugar and offer no nutritional value. What I need is the good stuff found in books. Exposure to ideas and thoughts is the fuel that really makes the brain work. A unique turn of a phrase, a witty quote, or a profound statement read over and over again and then pondered as I think about its meaning and implication. That for me is soul food.
Our world is so full of seductions that rob the brain of needed nutrition. A comfortable chair in front of the television can be like a dozen Krispy Creme doughnuts. Before you know it they are all gone, and you wonder what made you do that. Books on the other hand excite. They engage the brain in a way that is lasting. Every time I read I learn something new. I enjoy sharing what I learn with others (which are not the case with the doughnuts). I can sometimes devour two in a week and they never make me feel fat. Books produce ideas, they inspire and they encourage.
Walking through downtown Pittsburgh yesterday I realized that there are few people missing meals here. But there were only twelve people in the downtown library. Perhaps we need to miss a meal and feed the brain. I started feeding mine again yesterday and the benefits were immediate. Perhaps you too would like to begin feeding your brain. Why not try out my diet plan that is outlined here: Reading Diet
I fell off of my diet this past weekend, but it feels good now to be back on track. Now I have to finish a book report that I owe to someone.
I really noticed this yesterday when I had a difficult time concentrating on a writing task. Even simple email messages were not written well. I needed to understand what the possible cause could be for such a problem. I needed to find answers, but realized that even answers are hard to come by when I find myself in this state. What I was experiencing was a mental malaise. I observed no other physical signs of trouble. Everything else seemed to be fine and in good working order.
When I experience a problem physically I usually try to think back to the events of the several days prior. A pain in the shoulder perhaps is related to the shoulder workout of two days ago when maybe I pushed too hard. The upset stomach at 2:00 in the morning can be traced back to the bowl of ice cream and Oreo cookies that I could not resist at 9:30. The dryness in my mouth can be quickly traced back to the unopened water bottles on my desk, and the empty third cup of coffee. But this brain drain, now that is something completely different.
After thinking about this for a little while the answer suddenly occurred to me. This was in itself a total surprise given my depleted mental state. Looking back over the weekend and the latter part of last week I had been starving my brain of nutrition. It all started with Friday when I spent the better part of the day lifting boxes and moving tables to set up for a non-profit fund raiser. The physical exhaustion from that activity caused me to just veg out on Friday night eating pizza, and way too much Coke. Then came Saturday, and more toting and bailing for the same fund raiser as we approached crunch time. The food was even worse of Saturday, Wendy’s for lunch, chicken wings and more Coke for dinner. Mentally I did even less. I sat in front of the television watching Pitt lose to Connecticut, and the movie Tomb Raider. I even stayed up late with the boys to play video games.
Sunday was more of the same. There was more basketball, movies, scanning the newspaper and searching on eBay. By Monday morning my brain was totally out of gas. Running on fumes I wrote several email messages, prepared a document for a client, and attended a lunch meeting.
Sometimes we kid ourselves into thinking that we can get by reading the newspaper or an occasional monthly magazine. These are really the intellectual equivalent of a Snickers bar. They are full of sugar and offer no nutritional value. What I need is the good stuff found in books. Exposure to ideas and thoughts is the fuel that really makes the brain work. A unique turn of a phrase, a witty quote, or a profound statement read over and over again and then pondered as I think about its meaning and implication. That for me is soul food.
Our world is so full of seductions that rob the brain of needed nutrition. A comfortable chair in front of the television can be like a dozen Krispy Creme doughnuts. Before you know it they are all gone, and you wonder what made you do that. Books on the other hand excite. They engage the brain in a way that is lasting. Every time I read I learn something new. I enjoy sharing what I learn with others (which are not the case with the doughnuts). I can sometimes devour two in a week and they never make me feel fat. Books produce ideas, they inspire and they encourage.
Walking through downtown Pittsburgh yesterday I realized that there are few people missing meals here. But there were only twelve people in the downtown library. Perhaps we need to miss a meal and feed the brain. I started feeding mine again yesterday and the benefits were immediate. Perhaps you too would like to begin feeding your brain. Why not try out my diet plan that is outlined here: Reading Diet
I fell off of my diet this past weekend, but it feels good now to be back on track. Now I have to finish a book report that I owe to someone.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
My Thoughts on Blogging
1 – Blog daily and be brief (note to self to read this again)
2 – Tell the truth - Unless of course you write good fiction
3 – Do Not Steal. If you read something interesting or that you admire, don’t try to pass it off as yours, just link to the site and write about what you found interesting. The writer will love you for it
4 – Borrow html tags from other sites when you see something interesting or check out the following site for a good list of codes and tags html codes. Also see rule # 3 above
5 – If you need help, ask a blogger. Most people are more than willing to offer tips and advice
6 – Avoid profanity. It makes you look dull and uninteresting
7 – Let your mom read your blog. If she does not have a computer, then call her and read it to her. This really solves the problem of not calling your mother and she will delight in the knowledge that you can read and write. Also see rule # 6
8 – If you see something that makes you laugh or smile, blog it. There is too little joy in the world and sharing a smile will help someone. If what you see is an interesting blog, then leave a comment. Every blogger loves a compliment. Better still, leave a link to their site and become a Lovecat
9 – If you want traffic, do two things. First, write something interesting. Second, read other blogs and leave good comments. Traffic generators are generally a waste of your time.
10 – Never have the last word – That’s what comments are for. Now you can add to the list
2 – Tell the truth - Unless of course you write good fiction
3 – Do Not Steal. If you read something interesting or that you admire, don’t try to pass it off as yours, just link to the site and write about what you found interesting. The writer will love you for it
4 – Borrow html tags from other sites when you see something interesting or check out the following site for a good list of codes and tags html codes. Also see rule # 3 above
5 – If you need help, ask a blogger. Most people are more than willing to offer tips and advice
6 – Avoid profanity. It makes you look dull and uninteresting
7 – Let your mom read your blog. If she does not have a computer, then call her and read it to her. This really solves the problem of not calling your mother and she will delight in the knowledge that you can read and write. Also see rule # 6
8 – If you see something that makes you laugh or smile, blog it. There is too little joy in the world and sharing a smile will help someone. If what you see is an interesting blog, then leave a comment. Every blogger loves a compliment. Better still, leave a link to their site and become a Lovecat
9 – If you want traffic, do two things. First, write something interesting. Second, read other blogs and leave good comments. Traffic generators are generally a waste of your time.
10 – Never have the last word – That’s what comments are for. Now you can add to the list
Saturday, February 26, 2005
No Mistakes Allowed
My idea of a bad day at the office would be receiving a telephone call from former President Clinton to tell me that I should look forward and learn from my mistakes, and recognize the opportunities that they provide.
Now maybe this is not exactly how the conversation went between former President Bill Clinton and Lawrence H. Summers, Harvard’s embattled president. Perhaps it was not a telephone call, but a face to face meeting over coffee. What ever the means was for delivering the message, I can only wonder how Lawrence Summers felt after receiving such advice from the former President.
I read an article this morning in the New York Times that suggests that Dr. Summers has been spending his days lately pondering his style. The writers opine that Summers, the 27th president of Harvard since its founding is “trying to become a new kind of man.” Of course Dr. Summers need for a makeover has come about not because of the latest trend in male cosmetic surgery, but rather because of a really stupid remark he made at a conference in January. The Times reporters tell us that Summers is surrounded by the best minds of Harvard and has turned to some of them for guidance. He has been counseled by the former President, is reading books about leadership, and he has recently taken his children to see the new Will Smith movie “Hitch.” For those that don’t know “Hitch” is a movie about a man who teaches other men to improve their skills at relating to women so that they can fall in love. One of the writers of the Times article actually asked Dr. Summers whether he could draw any parallels between the character played by Will Smith’s clients in the movie and himself. I guess that not only does Lawrence Summers make dumb statements, but the folks over at the Times can ask some stupid questions.
Everyone is talking about Dr. Summers remarks. There is an outcry for his resignation from Harvard. The school also appears likely to lose staff members over the remarks. But the really big question surrounding Dr. Summers is whether or not his continued leadership would hurt Harvard’s next big capital campaign which hopes to raise a record $4 billion. I just wonder if that issue is really the central issue for all of the good thinking people of Harvard. It seems to me that Dr. Summers is prone to remarks that suggest his views on discrimination do not agree with those of minorities and women in this country. I think that this time Dr. Summers simply spoke out a bit too candidly before a group that took him to task for his remarks. But I doubt seriously that these good people are shocked or surprised. They might however be fed up.
Will Dr. Summers resign as president of Harvard? Should he be forced to resign with a vote of no confidence next month? Will Dr. Summers be successful in his makeover attempts? I am sure that the answers to these questions will be played out in newspapers and television news over the next several weeks. My question is much more fundamental and simplistic. Are we all subject to losing our jobs if we hold opinions that do not agree with a particular segment of our society? I personally do not agree with Dr. Summers views on discrimination. I am unmoved by the feeble attempts to rephrase the content and context of his comments. Yet, I am also deeply troubled that we live in a society where we wait for evidence of mistakes (not crimes or moral misdeeds) of leaders and then call for their heads. Maybe Summers should resign. A great leader thinks first of their institution and their people. If Summers continued leadership is not in the best interest of Harvard then he should hand in his resignation. There must be one or two competent minds available to take his place (but can those minds raise the money). Let’s just see how he leads himself through this crisis. At the same time however let’s take a really close look at the screams and cries of the good people that want his head. Maybe there is something else at work here.
Maybe Lawrence Summers has a number of problems as the president of Harvard. Maybe he isn’t the right man for the job. But then again, maybe we have gone too far as a society where we seek out the flaws of anyone and everyone in high places and when found, it’s off with their heads. And we wonder why there are no real leaders anymore. I guess I could be wrong, but I can’t get fired for just a thought.
By the way, good luck with that makeover Larry.
Now maybe this is not exactly how the conversation went between former President Bill Clinton and Lawrence H. Summers, Harvard’s embattled president. Perhaps it was not a telephone call, but a face to face meeting over coffee. What ever the means was for delivering the message, I can only wonder how Lawrence Summers felt after receiving such advice from the former President.
I read an article this morning in the New York Times that suggests that Dr. Summers has been spending his days lately pondering his style. The writers opine that Summers, the 27th president of Harvard since its founding is “trying to become a new kind of man.” Of course Dr. Summers need for a makeover has come about not because of the latest trend in male cosmetic surgery, but rather because of a really stupid remark he made at a conference in January. The Times reporters tell us that Summers is surrounded by the best minds of Harvard and has turned to some of them for guidance. He has been counseled by the former President, is reading books about leadership, and he has recently taken his children to see the new Will Smith movie “Hitch.” For those that don’t know “Hitch” is a movie about a man who teaches other men to improve their skills at relating to women so that they can fall in love. One of the writers of the Times article actually asked Dr. Summers whether he could draw any parallels between the character played by Will Smith’s clients in the movie and himself. I guess that not only does Lawrence Summers make dumb statements, but the folks over at the Times can ask some stupid questions.
Everyone is talking about Dr. Summers remarks. There is an outcry for his resignation from Harvard. The school also appears likely to lose staff members over the remarks. But the really big question surrounding Dr. Summers is whether or not his continued leadership would hurt Harvard’s next big capital campaign which hopes to raise a record $4 billion. I just wonder if that issue is really the central issue for all of the good thinking people of Harvard. It seems to me that Dr. Summers is prone to remarks that suggest his views on discrimination do not agree with those of minorities and women in this country. I think that this time Dr. Summers simply spoke out a bit too candidly before a group that took him to task for his remarks. But I doubt seriously that these good people are shocked or surprised. They might however be fed up.
Will Dr. Summers resign as president of Harvard? Should he be forced to resign with a vote of no confidence next month? Will Dr. Summers be successful in his makeover attempts? I am sure that the answers to these questions will be played out in newspapers and television news over the next several weeks. My question is much more fundamental and simplistic. Are we all subject to losing our jobs if we hold opinions that do not agree with a particular segment of our society? I personally do not agree with Dr. Summers views on discrimination. I am unmoved by the feeble attempts to rephrase the content and context of his comments. Yet, I am also deeply troubled that we live in a society where we wait for evidence of mistakes (not crimes or moral misdeeds) of leaders and then call for their heads. Maybe Summers should resign. A great leader thinks first of their institution and their people. If Summers continued leadership is not in the best interest of Harvard then he should hand in his resignation. There must be one or two competent minds available to take his place (but can those minds raise the money). Let’s just see how he leads himself through this crisis. At the same time however let’s take a really close look at the screams and cries of the good people that want his head. Maybe there is something else at work here.
Maybe Lawrence Summers has a number of problems as the president of Harvard. Maybe he isn’t the right man for the job. But then again, maybe we have gone too far as a society where we seek out the flaws of anyone and everyone in high places and when found, it’s off with their heads. And we wonder why there are no real leaders anymore. I guess I could be wrong, but I can’t get fired for just a thought.
By the way, good luck with that makeover Larry.
Friday, February 25, 2005
A BLOG Book Report
Nearly two months ago I got into this business called blogging. To put it more correctly, I created my first Web Log back in the middle of January, but it really seems as though it has been much longer. I am not sure at this moment what led me to create a blog. But I can see that the process of writing every day and therefore thinking about things to write daily has generated a number of new ideas and a certain energy that I now feel about writing.
Thinking about the progress I have made with my personal projects by writing this blog has caused me to spend a lot of my time thinking about blogging and Web Logs in general. Sometimes when we focus our thoughts on a subject we become more aware of just how much that particular subject is evident in our daily life. The best example I can think of is what happens when you buy a new car. As soon as you buy the car you become aware of every other car just like yours. You observe the other people that drive your car, and you think about ways in which they are similar to or unlike you. And so, as I have been thinking more and more about blogging I have become aware of just how prevalent this phenomenon has become.
I have an inquiring mind and so it should come as no small surprise that I have spent time looking into this whole new world that I found. In this regard I consider myself like a Pilgrim that landed on Plymouth Rock. I have discovered a new world. Of course it does not matter to me that there had been “Indians” already blogging in this new world for years before I got here. For me like so many pilgrims, when I got here it was discovered and that is that. I can now only hope for fame and fortune and perhaps some day a state may be named after me. I think that “Harvana” has an interesting ring to it don’t you?
Late last night I finished reading the new book by Hugh Hewitt titled “BLOG - Understanding the Information Reformation That’s Changing Your World.” Hugh Hewitt is the host of a nationally syndicated radio show and law professor at Chapman University Law School. He is the author of the New York Times best-selling book If It’s Not Close, They Can’t Cheat. He has won three Emmy awards for his work on a PBS affiliate, and he is a blogger. You can read Hewitt’s blog at Hugh Hewitt.
I have no illusions that my mentioning of Hewitt on this page will make him any more famous than he already is. I also don’t think that he will honor my page by directing thousands of people my way, but I can dream can’t I? I mention his credentials because I think he has written a book that you must read and sometimes people will only read a book if they deem the author as important. Of course that is a whole other sad point for those of us that hope to some day move from the world of writers to the world of authors. But let’s get back to Hewitt. When I say you must read his book, exactly who am I talking about? The fact is that I am talking to everyone. If you need to get a message out, you should read BLOG. If you are the steward of a company or an institution, you should read BLOG. If you have something to sell, you should read BLOG. Finally, if you read or write blogs, then you should read BLOG. Look Hugh, four mentions in a row!
Hewitt likens the emergence of the blogosphere to the Protestant Reformation. This was for me the “Big Idea” in this book. Without going too long on this here, prior to the reformation the Roman Catholic Church held immense power and wealth in the Western world. The church controlled the very thoughts and ideas of the educated class. Additionally, the church controlled the sacred texts and limited access to those works to only the chosen few. This meant that the average citizen had no ability to challenge the established authorities. Hewitt, I think rightly, asserts that this control of information limited the freedom of the people of that time.
Since this is not intended to be a scholarly piece on the history of Western Civilization, let me fast forward. The reformation began when one man (Martin Luther) gathered his colleagues and began to challenge the teachings of the church. One such teaching was that absolution from sin could be purchased by paying for indulgences. Purchasers would be provided with letters that evidenced their absolution. Holders of these letters would produce them as evidence that they were in no further need of repentance. The time was the early 1500s and this idea did not resonate with Martin Luther. Luther responded in a fashion common to bloggers today. He got his pals together and wrote a blog. Well, he didn’t actually write a blog, but the 1517 equivalent was Luther’s Ninety-Five Theses. The process in those days was that if you wanted to talk about a matter, you posted it on the outside door of the church. Protocol of the time also required that you inform the local authority, in this case Albert, the Archbishop of Mainz. Luther’s actions are also an excellent lesson for modern bloggers. If your blog writes about the company you work for, then you might want to run your thoughts by the proper authorities before you push the “publish” button. If not, you could suffer the fate of those that opposed the church in the early 1500s, and frankly burning at the stake was not fun then and its 2005 equivalent is no fun today. .oO(I think I see the seeds of an article on blogging etiquette here).
I know that anyone still reading this is probably confused or worse lost. Please be patient with me as I press on. Luther’s Theses was written in Latin. In the 1500s Latin was the language of the educated class and so we can assume that Luther intended what he wrote to only reach a limited audience (another lesson for bloggers today is that you can’t know who is going to read what you wrote. Keep that in mind). It seems that immediately after the Theses was posted, someone copied it and translated the Theses into German which was the common language. This translation of Luther’s Theses was known all over Germany within two weeks. Within a month it was known all over Europe. A message moving this quickly in the 1500s was unheard of. The key to this whole story is that at the time of Luther’s Theses, Johannes Gutenberg’s printing press was changing the speed and cost with which information could be provided to the masses in the Western world. The combination of these two seemingly unrelated events led to vast changes within the Vatican, and ushered in an era where the church no longer controlled vital religious texts and thereby brought us Jim and Tammy Faye Baker. Well, maybe we can blame someone else for that, but I think you get the picture.
Hewitt introduces a term in his book called the “Blog Swarm.” He suggests that a blog swarm was responsible for the fall of Dan Rather after the story about the falsified documents concerning Bush’s military service. He attributes the failure of the Kerry campaign, the decline of the New York Times and CNN, and knocking Trent Lott down a peg to the persistence of bloggers. He does not mention it in his book but I will bet you the whole Terrell Owens and Desperate Housewives thing was also caused by bloggers. Of course this is the opinion of a man that is convinced that Ben Roethlisberger hurt his thumb while blogging and thus cost the Steelers their chance at one for the thumb. Hewitt says that every institution, every company, every sports team, and every leader should have a blog and pay attention to blogs that write about their organization. He believes that everyone should have an in-house blogger paid to blog and monitor blogs (man do I see consulting possibilities in this game).
Hewitt makes his point in a very convincing fashion. Of course, he is preaching to a blogger, but I still believe him. His book lists a number of popular blog sites that receive thousands of hits each day. I have listed a number of them below, not because I need to do that to make this point, but a bit of sucking up to the big guys can’t hurt. There are over four million blogs in existence today. The number of blogs is expected to double within the next year. But it’s still early in the game and not too late for you to jump in.
If you read this page and don’t have a blog, then you should get one. Just go here Blogger, or you can go here Typepad, because I believe in equal opportunity. If by some chance you are not one of the ten people that read my page and you think I am right, why not hire the guy that brought this to your attention? My email address is listed in my profile, and since I am not at all famous I will do it for you wholesale. Show this article to your boss. Show it to your Pastor. Show it to your friends, and if you may be so bold link it to your site. Hey, I have little shame after I invested the time to read the book and then write about it. If you don’t do anything else I have said, then just get a copy of the book. I didn’t buy mine and I am not telling you to buy yours either (Hugh Hewitt is doing just fine with that from his own site). I got my copy at the local library, and I will be returning it tomorrow. The entire book is only two-hundred and twenty-five pages. If you took the time to read all of this, then you can read the book over the weekend.
Now this has been a very long book report and I apologize for taking up so much of your time that you would otherwise spend surfing the web or some other such productive thing. Of course, I am getting this out so late that if this is what you are doing on Friday night, then your life is about as interesting as mine. Welcome to the club.
Interesting Blog sites for you to review
Instapundit
Infinite Monkeys Blog
Lileks
Thinking about the progress I have made with my personal projects by writing this blog has caused me to spend a lot of my time thinking about blogging and Web Logs in general. Sometimes when we focus our thoughts on a subject we become more aware of just how much that particular subject is evident in our daily life. The best example I can think of is what happens when you buy a new car. As soon as you buy the car you become aware of every other car just like yours. You observe the other people that drive your car, and you think about ways in which they are similar to or unlike you. And so, as I have been thinking more and more about blogging I have become aware of just how prevalent this phenomenon has become.
I have an inquiring mind and so it should come as no small surprise that I have spent time looking into this whole new world that I found. In this regard I consider myself like a Pilgrim that landed on Plymouth Rock. I have discovered a new world. Of course it does not matter to me that there had been “Indians” already blogging in this new world for years before I got here. For me like so many pilgrims, when I got here it was discovered and that is that. I can now only hope for fame and fortune and perhaps some day a state may be named after me. I think that “Harvana” has an interesting ring to it don’t you?
Late last night I finished reading the new book by Hugh Hewitt titled “BLOG - Understanding the Information Reformation That’s Changing Your World.” Hugh Hewitt is the host of a nationally syndicated radio show and law professor at Chapman University Law School. He is the author of the New York Times best-selling book If It’s Not Close, They Can’t Cheat. He has won three Emmy awards for his work on a PBS affiliate, and he is a blogger. You can read Hewitt’s blog at Hugh Hewitt.
I have no illusions that my mentioning of Hewitt on this page will make him any more famous than he already is. I also don’t think that he will honor my page by directing thousands of people my way, but I can dream can’t I? I mention his credentials because I think he has written a book that you must read and sometimes people will only read a book if they deem the author as important. Of course that is a whole other sad point for those of us that hope to some day move from the world of writers to the world of authors. But let’s get back to Hewitt. When I say you must read his book, exactly who am I talking about? The fact is that I am talking to everyone. If you need to get a message out, you should read BLOG. If you are the steward of a company or an institution, you should read BLOG. If you have something to sell, you should read BLOG. Finally, if you read or write blogs, then you should read BLOG. Look Hugh, four mentions in a row!
Hewitt likens the emergence of the blogosphere to the Protestant Reformation. This was for me the “Big Idea” in this book. Without going too long on this here, prior to the reformation the Roman Catholic Church held immense power and wealth in the Western world. The church controlled the very thoughts and ideas of the educated class. Additionally, the church controlled the sacred texts and limited access to those works to only the chosen few. This meant that the average citizen had no ability to challenge the established authorities. Hewitt, I think rightly, asserts that this control of information limited the freedom of the people of that time.
Since this is not intended to be a scholarly piece on the history of Western Civilization, let me fast forward. The reformation began when one man (Martin Luther) gathered his colleagues and began to challenge the teachings of the church. One such teaching was that absolution from sin could be purchased by paying for indulgences. Purchasers would be provided with letters that evidenced their absolution. Holders of these letters would produce them as evidence that they were in no further need of repentance. The time was the early 1500s and this idea did not resonate with Martin Luther. Luther responded in a fashion common to bloggers today. He got his pals together and wrote a blog. Well, he didn’t actually write a blog, but the 1517 equivalent was Luther’s Ninety-Five Theses. The process in those days was that if you wanted to talk about a matter, you posted it on the outside door of the church. Protocol of the time also required that you inform the local authority, in this case Albert, the Archbishop of Mainz. Luther’s actions are also an excellent lesson for modern bloggers. If your blog writes about the company you work for, then you might want to run your thoughts by the proper authorities before you push the “publish” button. If not, you could suffer the fate of those that opposed the church in the early 1500s, and frankly burning at the stake was not fun then and its 2005 equivalent is no fun today. .oO(I think I see the seeds of an article on blogging etiquette here).
I know that anyone still reading this is probably confused or worse lost. Please be patient with me as I press on. Luther’s Theses was written in Latin. In the 1500s Latin was the language of the educated class and so we can assume that Luther intended what he wrote to only reach a limited audience (another lesson for bloggers today is that you can’t know who is going to read what you wrote. Keep that in mind). It seems that immediately after the Theses was posted, someone copied it and translated the Theses into German which was the common language. This translation of Luther’s Theses was known all over Germany within two weeks. Within a month it was known all over Europe. A message moving this quickly in the 1500s was unheard of. The key to this whole story is that at the time of Luther’s Theses, Johannes Gutenberg’s printing press was changing the speed and cost with which information could be provided to the masses in the Western world. The combination of these two seemingly unrelated events led to vast changes within the Vatican, and ushered in an era where the church no longer controlled vital religious texts and thereby brought us Jim and Tammy Faye Baker. Well, maybe we can blame someone else for that, but I think you get the picture.
Hewitt introduces a term in his book called the “Blog Swarm.” He suggests that a blog swarm was responsible for the fall of Dan Rather after the story about the falsified documents concerning Bush’s military service. He attributes the failure of the Kerry campaign, the decline of the New York Times and CNN, and knocking Trent Lott down a peg to the persistence of bloggers. He does not mention it in his book but I will bet you the whole Terrell Owens and Desperate Housewives thing was also caused by bloggers. Of course this is the opinion of a man that is convinced that Ben Roethlisberger hurt his thumb while blogging and thus cost the Steelers their chance at one for the thumb. Hewitt says that every institution, every company, every sports team, and every leader should have a blog and pay attention to blogs that write about their organization. He believes that everyone should have an in-house blogger paid to blog and monitor blogs (man do I see consulting possibilities in this game).
Hewitt makes his point in a very convincing fashion. Of course, he is preaching to a blogger, but I still believe him. His book lists a number of popular blog sites that receive thousands of hits each day. I have listed a number of them below, not because I need to do that to make this point, but a bit of sucking up to the big guys can’t hurt. There are over four million blogs in existence today. The number of blogs is expected to double within the next year. But it’s still early in the game and not too late for you to jump in.
If you read this page and don’t have a blog, then you should get one. Just go here Blogger, or you can go here Typepad, because I believe in equal opportunity. If by some chance you are not one of the ten people that read my page and you think I am right, why not hire the guy that brought this to your attention? My email address is listed in my profile, and since I am not at all famous I will do it for you wholesale. Show this article to your boss. Show it to your Pastor. Show it to your friends, and if you may be so bold link it to your site. Hey, I have little shame after I invested the time to read the book and then write about it. If you don’t do anything else I have said, then just get a copy of the book. I didn’t buy mine and I am not telling you to buy yours either (Hugh Hewitt is doing just fine with that from his own site). I got my copy at the local library, and I will be returning it tomorrow. The entire book is only two-hundred and twenty-five pages. If you took the time to read all of this, then you can read the book over the weekend.
Now this has been a very long book report and I apologize for taking up so much of your time that you would otherwise spend surfing the web or some other such productive thing. Of course, I am getting this out so late that if this is what you are doing on Friday night, then your life is about as interesting as mine. Welcome to the club.
Interesting Blog sites for you to review
Instapundit
Infinite Monkeys Blog
Lileks
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Dogma off the Chain
I woke up early this morning to find out that the weather people got one right. “Big storm headed our way” were the dire warnings as I went to bed last night. One of our local television stations has what they call their “Severe Weather Center”. It is shown repeatedly throughout the day, and it does not matter if it is sunny and warm outside. We have this constant reminder that there could be severe weather at any moment. And what do we do? Of course we watch. There is something about seeing flooding in someone else’s basement that can keep us coming back for more. We had a tornado hit a neighborhood here about four years ago. The news still shows us flashes of that event. I guess that severe weather sells.
The big storm turned out to be about two inches in my neighborhood this morning. This is still enough snow to cause a two hour school delay. I never did understand these delays until this winter. It seems that the real purpose of a delay is to allow all of the parents enough time to call each other to determine if the school is really delayed or closed. If you call enough people then that can take about two hours in the morning. Of course, there are a few parents that actually get up fairly early, check to see if there is a delay, and then go back to sleep. When you call those parents they are pretty angry.
Whenever we have a delay I have a major decision to make. Which is better? Do you wake the boys up early to tell them that they can sleep in, or do you just let them sleep in and wander in later asking if there is a delay? Personally I like knowing that I just received a bonus. The opportunity to spend found time would seem to me to be the better choice. I have learned through negative feedback at my house that my family thinks differently. They prefer to sleep in and be surprised when they wake up with the light shining in their eyes. I am such a creature of habit that I just tend to get up at my regular time and go about my routine. Still, the delay does tend to throw off my finely tuned schedule, and it is absolutely unnerving for parents that still need to get to the office on time.
Today we had a dilemma because Thursday is “Chapel” day. Weekly chapel is a tradition at the school that my children attend. Chapel is a very well executed ecumenical tradition. Students of many faiths attend our school and so the ceremony primarily is an opportunity to allow for reflection and reinforcement of the values established within the school. I describe the service as the equivalent of “Dogma off the chain.” This tradition works and functions as a central part of the week for our children. During this roughly forty minute service students are recognized for achievements in both academics and character. Students and faculty alike participate in singing songs of hope and encouragement, and they begin to recognize the value in regularly taking time to reflect upon their individual faith.
Chapel begins at roughly 8:10 on Thursday morning. With today’s two-hour delay to the start of school we had a problem. You see attending chapel requires that the children dress in their school blazer, wear shoes instead of their normal sneakers, and put on a white shirt and tie (just imagine what your work place looked like twenty years ago and you get the picture). At the end of chapel of course all of the boys immediately strip off their ties, and promptly remove the dreaded leather shoes. In essence they return to the attire of children in school today.
This morning our telephone was buzzing as parents and children alike were completely confused about what to wear. The burning question of the morning was “will we have chapel today?” I first attempted to ward off this question with parental logic. I deduced that chapel was not necessarily a part of the educational requirements of a school day. As such, in a day shortened by two hours, chapel would be cancelled for this week. In the five years that our children have attended this school we have never had a reason to think about this as there has never been a school delay on Thursday. My parental logic was completely insufficient for my sons and so they decided that torturing their mother was the simplest recourse. Of course totally unaware of these events I went about the business of playing outside in the snow and pretending to clear the walkways.
When I returned to the house after getting wet enough outside I was informed of the issue of the day. Once again I tried to apply my parental logic but this time my sons would have none of it. They insisted that we had to talk with other parents and classmates. And it seems that in other households this same question was being pressed upon the parents.
I have written here before that my sons are twins. Contrary to what most people believe they are as different as night and day. Max was trying as hard as he might to exercise his considerable will on us to agree that he should dress in his chapel uniform. Alex is our free spirit. It was Alex that came up with the solution. Alex said that this decision is a decision in self-leadership. He said if Max wants to dress in his chapel uniform than he should do that. Alex went on to say that for him, he believed that this was a matter of personal choice. Since no rules had previously been established any choice you make can not be wrong and you can’t get into trouble. So, he was wearing his polo shirt, and school uniform trousers. I just stood back and experienced the feeling that you get when realize that your child really does get it.
Before the boys left for school today they asked me what I thought I was going to write about. They said “isn’t this the time that you usually spend brainstorming about what to write about?” Every day I try to look for examples of people, events and ideas around me that demonstrate the need for finding your V.O.I.C.E. I believe that exercising personal leadership is vitally important and have talked about it here The Leadership Compass.
Well Alex, I think you have your answer. I am not going to write about anything today. I am just going to report the story about why personal leadership is important in our life. Thank you for the demonstration.
The big storm turned out to be about two inches in my neighborhood this morning. This is still enough snow to cause a two hour school delay. I never did understand these delays until this winter. It seems that the real purpose of a delay is to allow all of the parents enough time to call each other to determine if the school is really delayed or closed. If you call enough people then that can take about two hours in the morning. Of course, there are a few parents that actually get up fairly early, check to see if there is a delay, and then go back to sleep. When you call those parents they are pretty angry.
Whenever we have a delay I have a major decision to make. Which is better? Do you wake the boys up early to tell them that they can sleep in, or do you just let them sleep in and wander in later asking if there is a delay? Personally I like knowing that I just received a bonus. The opportunity to spend found time would seem to me to be the better choice. I have learned through negative feedback at my house that my family thinks differently. They prefer to sleep in and be surprised when they wake up with the light shining in their eyes. I am such a creature of habit that I just tend to get up at my regular time and go about my routine. Still, the delay does tend to throw off my finely tuned schedule, and it is absolutely unnerving for parents that still need to get to the office on time.
Today we had a dilemma because Thursday is “Chapel” day. Weekly chapel is a tradition at the school that my children attend. Chapel is a very well executed ecumenical tradition. Students of many faiths attend our school and so the ceremony primarily is an opportunity to allow for reflection and reinforcement of the values established within the school. I describe the service as the equivalent of “Dogma off the chain.” This tradition works and functions as a central part of the week for our children. During this roughly forty minute service students are recognized for achievements in both academics and character. Students and faculty alike participate in singing songs of hope and encouragement, and they begin to recognize the value in regularly taking time to reflect upon their individual faith.
Chapel begins at roughly 8:10 on Thursday morning. With today’s two-hour delay to the start of school we had a problem. You see attending chapel requires that the children dress in their school blazer, wear shoes instead of their normal sneakers, and put on a white shirt and tie (just imagine what your work place looked like twenty years ago and you get the picture). At the end of chapel of course all of the boys immediately strip off their ties, and promptly remove the dreaded leather shoes. In essence they return to the attire of children in school today.
This morning our telephone was buzzing as parents and children alike were completely confused about what to wear. The burning question of the morning was “will we have chapel today?” I first attempted to ward off this question with parental logic. I deduced that chapel was not necessarily a part of the educational requirements of a school day. As such, in a day shortened by two hours, chapel would be cancelled for this week. In the five years that our children have attended this school we have never had a reason to think about this as there has never been a school delay on Thursday. My parental logic was completely insufficient for my sons and so they decided that torturing their mother was the simplest recourse. Of course totally unaware of these events I went about the business of playing outside in the snow and pretending to clear the walkways.
When I returned to the house after getting wet enough outside I was informed of the issue of the day. Once again I tried to apply my parental logic but this time my sons would have none of it. They insisted that we had to talk with other parents and classmates. And it seems that in other households this same question was being pressed upon the parents.
I have written here before that my sons are twins. Contrary to what most people believe they are as different as night and day. Max was trying as hard as he might to exercise his considerable will on us to agree that he should dress in his chapel uniform. Alex is our free spirit. It was Alex that came up with the solution. Alex said that this decision is a decision in self-leadership. He said if Max wants to dress in his chapel uniform than he should do that. Alex went on to say that for him, he believed that this was a matter of personal choice. Since no rules had previously been established any choice you make can not be wrong and you can’t get into trouble. So, he was wearing his polo shirt, and school uniform trousers. I just stood back and experienced the feeling that you get when realize that your child really does get it.
Before the boys left for school today they asked me what I thought I was going to write about. They said “isn’t this the time that you usually spend brainstorming about what to write about?” Every day I try to look for examples of people, events and ideas around me that demonstrate the need for finding your V.O.I.C.E. I believe that exercising personal leadership is vitally important and have talked about it here The Leadership Compass.
Well Alex, I think you have your answer. I am not going to write about anything today. I am just going to report the story about why personal leadership is important in our life. Thank you for the demonstration.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Finding Your V.O.I.C.E. at the Top of a Mountain
Last night I had the opportunity to speak before a group of about seventy-five people. The occasion was a reception to celebrate the accomplishments of five members of a popular downtown private club. The five people being honored were recognized as “Champions” of the club in recognition of their accomplishments and achievements in fostering the growth and advancement of the club. I have learned that one who desires to advance their career in speaking and seminar facilitation should accept every opportunity to speak before a group. Even though I was offered only a small part in the evening’s festivities, I gladly accepted. I also accepted because I was being asked to be there to speak about and honor a friend and colleague.
The formal presentations of the evening consisted of having several persons, give a brief speech and introduction of an honoree. The speeches varied in length and level of interest to the diverse crowd. As often happens when I give a speech I don’t really recall much of what I actually said as compared to my prepared and well rehearsed remarks. Even small occasions such as these require preparation. I was told that I did well, and for this purpose that was sufficient. What I particularly recall was the introduction of one of the honorees. That was the introduction of a young man named Will Cross.
Will Cross was introduced by his proud father-in-law. He described Will as an adventurer. This description automatically peaked my interest, and I listened closely. Will Cross is an adventurer extrordinaire. He is presently engaged in an attempt to complete the “NovoLog Peaks and Poles Challenge”. This is a challenge to climb the highest mountains on each continent, and walk to each of the poles. Cross completed the first part of this adventure when he completed the nearly seven-hundred mile walk across Antarctica to the South Pole. He has already climbed Mount Kilimanjaro and Mt. Vinson. Last year Cross made his first attempt to climb to the summit of Mount Everest, and fell about one thousand feet short of his goal. A second attempt at reaching the top of that mountain is planned for this coming March.
Mountain climbing lore details the feats of the people that have climbed the highest peaks in the world. Nearly one-thousand men and women have reached the summit of Mount Everest. Approximately one-hundred or so climbers reach the summit annually. Success on these trips requires a rare combination of personal fortitude, physical endurance and luck with uncontrollable factors such as the weather. Climbs can take as long as two to three months to complete from the start of the journey. During that time you are forced to test the limits of your body, mind and spirit. This is a severe test for everyone that attempts such a climb. For Will Cross, this was even more of a challenge.
Will Cross is a type one diabetic. People with type one diabetes cannot make insulin. Insulin is a hormone which carries glucose from the bloodstream to the body tissues where it is used to produce energy. This means that Will had to wrestle with all of the physical limitations of his climb, which includes dealing with severe temperatures (as low as 50 degrees below zero wind chill at night), oxygen deprivation at high altitude which leads to “hypoxia”, a condition which limits normal brain function, and consuming a specially designed diet. Yet, it was also necessary for Will to carefully manage his blood sugar levels with insulin throughout the entire trip.
Meeting and talking with Will only briefly made me an unabashed fan. Will Cross has found his V.O.I.C.E. Prior to beginning his adventures to climb mountains and walk to the poles, Will taught in a local school district. Even in this endeavor, Will was unique. He was the Principal of a specially formed unit within the school district that worked exclusively with troubled youth. Will displays the Value of helping others to improve their lives. Will’s first Objective was to walk across Antarctica. He was clear in that Objective, and without having ever done so before raised funds and sponsorship for the trek which he completed in January of 2003. Will demonstrates Integrity in that his commitment was to climb Mount Everest. He missed the summit by less than one-thousand feet. However, equipment failure and a healthy dose of prudence (Will is a husband and father of five children) caused him to abandon that attempt. Integrity is not reflected in “rodeo king” arrogance, and failures to follow pre-established rules and guidelines as has been fatally learned by other climbers on Mount Everest. Yet, Will plans to attempt to reach the summit of that mountain once again this March. The Choices Will has already made in his life reflect his understanding of the need to be a role model to others that are living with what many consider a debilitating disease. Finally, Will has E-cubed as his Emotional Energy and Edge come through in his warm smile, his gritty determination, and willingness to help others, yet still tackle incredible feats.
How might you react if someone told you that climbing the mountains necessary to reach your goals had about a one in six chance of success? What if you were told that nearly two hundred people before you had died trying to do what you set out to do? What might you be willing to risk if you knew that even if you succeed in reaching your personal summit you would only spend ten to fifteen minutes there? What excuses might you make if you had a disease that limits your energy? What would you do after you had a chance to meet someone that has reached their summits and yet still seeks to reach higher heights?
I have had a chance to meet such a man. That chance meeting has encouraged me to know that each of us can and must find our V.O.I.C.E. I look forward to learning more about Will Cross in the coming days. You can learn about him and his company by clicking on the following link Will Cross
“I have climbed my mountain, but I must still live my life.” – Tenzing Norgay
The formal presentations of the evening consisted of having several persons, give a brief speech and introduction of an honoree. The speeches varied in length and level of interest to the diverse crowd. As often happens when I give a speech I don’t really recall much of what I actually said as compared to my prepared and well rehearsed remarks. Even small occasions such as these require preparation. I was told that I did well, and for this purpose that was sufficient. What I particularly recall was the introduction of one of the honorees. That was the introduction of a young man named Will Cross.
Will Cross was introduced by his proud father-in-law. He described Will as an adventurer. This description automatically peaked my interest, and I listened closely. Will Cross is an adventurer extrordinaire. He is presently engaged in an attempt to complete the “NovoLog Peaks and Poles Challenge”. This is a challenge to climb the highest mountains on each continent, and walk to each of the poles. Cross completed the first part of this adventure when he completed the nearly seven-hundred mile walk across Antarctica to the South Pole. He has already climbed Mount Kilimanjaro and Mt. Vinson. Last year Cross made his first attempt to climb to the summit of Mount Everest, and fell about one thousand feet short of his goal. A second attempt at reaching the top of that mountain is planned for this coming March.
Mountain climbing lore details the feats of the people that have climbed the highest peaks in the world. Nearly one-thousand men and women have reached the summit of Mount Everest. Approximately one-hundred or so climbers reach the summit annually. Success on these trips requires a rare combination of personal fortitude, physical endurance and luck with uncontrollable factors such as the weather. Climbs can take as long as two to three months to complete from the start of the journey. During that time you are forced to test the limits of your body, mind and spirit. This is a severe test for everyone that attempts such a climb. For Will Cross, this was even more of a challenge.
Will Cross is a type one diabetic. People with type one diabetes cannot make insulin. Insulin is a hormone which carries glucose from the bloodstream to the body tissues where it is used to produce energy. This means that Will had to wrestle with all of the physical limitations of his climb, which includes dealing with severe temperatures (as low as 50 degrees below zero wind chill at night), oxygen deprivation at high altitude which leads to “hypoxia”, a condition which limits normal brain function, and consuming a specially designed diet. Yet, it was also necessary for Will to carefully manage his blood sugar levels with insulin throughout the entire trip.
Meeting and talking with Will only briefly made me an unabashed fan. Will Cross has found his V.O.I.C.E. Prior to beginning his adventures to climb mountains and walk to the poles, Will taught in a local school district. Even in this endeavor, Will was unique. He was the Principal of a specially formed unit within the school district that worked exclusively with troubled youth. Will displays the Value of helping others to improve their lives. Will’s first Objective was to walk across Antarctica. He was clear in that Objective, and without having ever done so before raised funds and sponsorship for the trek which he completed in January of 2003. Will demonstrates Integrity in that his commitment was to climb Mount Everest. He missed the summit by less than one-thousand feet. However, equipment failure and a healthy dose of prudence (Will is a husband and father of five children) caused him to abandon that attempt. Integrity is not reflected in “rodeo king” arrogance, and failures to follow pre-established rules and guidelines as has been fatally learned by other climbers on Mount Everest. Yet, Will plans to attempt to reach the summit of that mountain once again this March. The Choices Will has already made in his life reflect his understanding of the need to be a role model to others that are living with what many consider a debilitating disease. Finally, Will has E-cubed as his Emotional Energy and Edge come through in his warm smile, his gritty determination, and willingness to help others, yet still tackle incredible feats.
How might you react if someone told you that climbing the mountains necessary to reach your goals had about a one in six chance of success? What if you were told that nearly two hundred people before you had died trying to do what you set out to do? What might you be willing to risk if you knew that even if you succeed in reaching your personal summit you would only spend ten to fifteen minutes there? What excuses might you make if you had a disease that limits your energy? What would you do after you had a chance to meet someone that has reached their summits and yet still seeks to reach higher heights?
I have had a chance to meet such a man. That chance meeting has encouraged me to know that each of us can and must find our V.O.I.C.E. I look forward to learning more about Will Cross in the coming days. You can learn about him and his company by clicking on the following link Will Cross
“I have climbed my mountain, but I must still live my life.” – Tenzing Norgay
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
What Were They Thinking
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- Bill Clinton
In the mid 1990s my children were fascinated with a daily television program called Blue’s Clues. For those unfamiliar with the show, it features just two main characters. There was Blue, a cartoon animation of a blue colored dog, and then there was Steve, the “Human” host of the show. The show was about the adventures and misadventures of Blue. During the half-hour show Blue interacted in a variety of situations that provided learning opportunities for children. During each of the interactions Blue leaves “clues” in the form of paw prints on pieces of a puzzle. Throughout the show children are prompted to figure out the clue puzzles. At the end of the show the host, Steve collects all of the puzzles and puts them together and prompts the television audience to help him solve the puzzle. He does this while sitting in “The Thinking Chair.” This show was mind numbing for adults. The format of the show was very flat, dull, and deliberate. The show utilizes repetition and long pauses to the point where any adult would go screaming from the room, or at least find themselves screaming at Steve to “get on with it already!” But, the show worked for children. Observing any child under the age of five watching the show was amazing. The children interacted with the show and Steve in a way that was incredible. The show worked.
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
Last year I read Malcolm Gladwell’s “The Tipping Point.” There is a section of the book that brought back the whole memory of Blue’s Clues. Even though I painfully watched the show a number of times with my children, it was not until I read Gladwell’s book that I was struck by the way that Steve ended every show. I think that I was always just so happy to see it end that I missed it. The end of the show features the “Thinking Chair.”
The idea of having a thinking chair resonated with me because in my office I have a thinking chair. Not many people know that this is what I call it because I am frequently found sleeping in my thinking chair. I designated the chair my thinking chair because it is where I go when I want to just think. The chair is less than three feet away from my desk, but the fact that I go there to think helps me to change perspective.
It was James Allen a philosopher who wrote in “As a Man Thinketh” “Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions can never produce good results.” This simple statement points out a simple truth which is that the quality of our thinking impacts the quality of the results that we achieve. This causes us to understand that we need to examine our thinking. We need to constantly ask ourselves “what are we thinking?”
"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version," -- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
There are so many different kinds of thought that we can engage in throughout our day. Many of these happen without your urging and often go on without you noticing. Just the process of beginning your day required a number of thoughts and decisions. Some of those were conscious, yet many were below your conscious level. Sometimes the unconscious decisions that you made in the morning are the ones that you question later in the day. Questions like “what in the world made me wear this today?” are common examples of this. For most of us our real thinking time is not actually thinking, but rather it is time spent worrying. While worrying does involve thinking, I want to just remind you that worrying is just based on fear. Fear is: False Expectations Appearing Real. All of us are fairly accomplished at the worrying form of thinking. I would like to suggest to you that there are a variety of other forms of thinking that you can engage in. Here are just a few examples: reflective thinking, creative thinking, strategic thinking, focused thinking, and possibility thinking. Or, you can do what Donald Trump says “You have to think anyway, so why not think big?
We need to broaden our thinking. Thinking big is a great place to start. I am reminded of the “Peanuts” cartoon strip created by Charles Schultz. In one particular cartoon, Charlie Brown is holding up his hands and telling Lucy, “These are hands which may someday accomplish great things. These are hands which may someday do marvelous works! They may build mighty bridges, or heal the sick, or hit home runs, or write soul-stirring novels! These are the hands which may someday change the course of destiny!” Lucy looks at Charlie Brown’s hands and simply says, “They’ve got jelly on them.”
We all have a Lucy in our lives that can bring us back down to earth. But even our Lucy’s are important because they can add to what I think of as your “Google Group.” This is a group of people that you must have if you want to elevate your thinking. You should appoint to this group people that help you think differently. In my own life I have identified several people that I know think a certain way. I know that when I need to think strategically, I call my friend Dan. When thinking reflectively, I call my Mom. Critical thinking falls to Suman. The list goes on and some of the names would probably prefer not to be “outed”. Each of these people in their unique way helps me think.
"The word “genius” isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein," -- Joe Theisman, former NFL quarterback & sports analyst.
Thinking requires the proper environment and for most of us the proper time of day. I do my best thinking before 9:00 in the morning. Perhaps you think best at a different time. But it is important to keep in mind what John Maxwell says “Ideas have a short shelf life. We must act on them before they expire.” There is a valuable tool that I use to assist my thinking. Actually, the tool is more of a capture device. This is a simple leather bound book that I carry with me everywhere I go. In this book I write every idea, thought, number, reminder, or list. Some of these things get transferred to my calendar or contact system later in the day, but the ever present book is there to capture every thought that runs through my head. This book is with me when I read, when I listen to someone speak, and even when watching television. Thoughts and ideas come from everywhere around you and you don’t want to miss a chance to catch one. One clear benefit to all of this thinking is that you begin to collect ideas. These will spur other ideas and ultimately great thoughts. But it all starts with practice. Make time to think. Practice thinking regularly. I schedule one hour each day that is devoted to thinking and sometimes I make it through without falling asleep. I can’t say that as of yet I have had a thought that will change the world, but I believe that I will not end up like the hapless examples I have included in this article that have demonstrated what happens to people that are not spending enough time thinking.
“Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always been a real deep thinker and stuff” – Billy Ray Cyrus, country music singer.
I want to hear from you. What do you think about this idea? Note the addition of two comments sections below. The comments on the left are for longer comments. You can use the comments on the right to leave a shorter response.
I forgot that I wanted to give credit for some of the quotes to the folowing website :
QUOTES
In the mid 1990s my children were fascinated with a daily television program called Blue’s Clues. For those unfamiliar with the show, it features just two main characters. There was Blue, a cartoon animation of a blue colored dog, and then there was Steve, the “Human” host of the show. The show was about the adventures and misadventures of Blue. During the half-hour show Blue interacted in a variety of situations that provided learning opportunities for children. During each of the interactions Blue leaves “clues” in the form of paw prints on pieces of a puzzle. Throughout the show children are prompted to figure out the clue puzzles. At the end of the show the host, Steve collects all of the puzzles and puts them together and prompts the television audience to help him solve the puzzle. He does this while sitting in “The Thinking Chair.” This show was mind numbing for adults. The format of the show was very flat, dull, and deliberate. The show utilizes repetition and long pauses to the point where any adult would go screaming from the room, or at least find themselves screaming at Steve to “get on with it already!” But, the show worked for children. Observing any child under the age of five watching the show was amazing. The children interacted with the show and Steve in a way that was incredible. The show worked.
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
Last year I read Malcolm Gladwell’s “The Tipping Point.” There is a section of the book that brought back the whole memory of Blue’s Clues. Even though I painfully watched the show a number of times with my children, it was not until I read Gladwell’s book that I was struck by the way that Steve ended every show. I think that I was always just so happy to see it end that I missed it. The end of the show features the “Thinking Chair.”
The idea of having a thinking chair resonated with me because in my office I have a thinking chair. Not many people know that this is what I call it because I am frequently found sleeping in my thinking chair. I designated the chair my thinking chair because it is where I go when I want to just think. The chair is less than three feet away from my desk, but the fact that I go there to think helps me to change perspective.
It was James Allen a philosopher who wrote in “As a Man Thinketh” “Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions can never produce good results.” This simple statement points out a simple truth which is that the quality of our thinking impacts the quality of the results that we achieve. This causes us to understand that we need to examine our thinking. We need to constantly ask ourselves “what are we thinking?”
"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version," -- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
There are so many different kinds of thought that we can engage in throughout our day. Many of these happen without your urging and often go on without you noticing. Just the process of beginning your day required a number of thoughts and decisions. Some of those were conscious, yet many were below your conscious level. Sometimes the unconscious decisions that you made in the morning are the ones that you question later in the day. Questions like “what in the world made me wear this today?” are common examples of this. For most of us our real thinking time is not actually thinking, but rather it is time spent worrying. While worrying does involve thinking, I want to just remind you that worrying is just based on fear. Fear is: False Expectations Appearing Real. All of us are fairly accomplished at the worrying form of thinking. I would like to suggest to you that there are a variety of other forms of thinking that you can engage in. Here are just a few examples: reflective thinking, creative thinking, strategic thinking, focused thinking, and possibility thinking. Or, you can do what Donald Trump says “You have to think anyway, so why not think big?
We need to broaden our thinking. Thinking big is a great place to start. I am reminded of the “Peanuts” cartoon strip created by Charles Schultz. In one particular cartoon, Charlie Brown is holding up his hands and telling Lucy, “These are hands which may someday accomplish great things. These are hands which may someday do marvelous works! They may build mighty bridges, or heal the sick, or hit home runs, or write soul-stirring novels! These are the hands which may someday change the course of destiny!” Lucy looks at Charlie Brown’s hands and simply says, “They’ve got jelly on them.”
We all have a Lucy in our lives that can bring us back down to earth. But even our Lucy’s are important because they can add to what I think of as your “Google Group.” This is a group of people that you must have if you want to elevate your thinking. You should appoint to this group people that help you think differently. In my own life I have identified several people that I know think a certain way. I know that when I need to think strategically, I call my friend Dan. When thinking reflectively, I call my Mom. Critical thinking falls to Suman. The list goes on and some of the names would probably prefer not to be “outed”. Each of these people in their unique way helps me think.
"The word “genius” isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein," -- Joe Theisman, former NFL quarterback & sports analyst.
Thinking requires the proper environment and for most of us the proper time of day. I do my best thinking before 9:00 in the morning. Perhaps you think best at a different time. But it is important to keep in mind what John Maxwell says “Ideas have a short shelf life. We must act on them before they expire.” There is a valuable tool that I use to assist my thinking. Actually, the tool is more of a capture device. This is a simple leather bound book that I carry with me everywhere I go. In this book I write every idea, thought, number, reminder, or list. Some of these things get transferred to my calendar or contact system later in the day, but the ever present book is there to capture every thought that runs through my head. This book is with me when I read, when I listen to someone speak, and even when watching television. Thoughts and ideas come from everywhere around you and you don’t want to miss a chance to catch one. One clear benefit to all of this thinking is that you begin to collect ideas. These will spur other ideas and ultimately great thoughts. But it all starts with practice. Make time to think. Practice thinking regularly. I schedule one hour each day that is devoted to thinking and sometimes I make it through without falling asleep. I can’t say that as of yet I have had a thought that will change the world, but I believe that I will not end up like the hapless examples I have included in this article that have demonstrated what happens to people that are not spending enough time thinking.
“Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always been a real deep thinker and stuff” – Billy Ray Cyrus, country music singer.
I want to hear from you. What do you think about this idea? Note the addition of two comments sections below. The comments on the left are for longer comments. You can use the comments on the right to leave a shorter response.
I forgot that I wanted to give credit for some of the quotes to the folowing website :
QUOTES
Monday, February 21, 2005
Hey, How You Doin?
As a writer and speaker I am always encouraged when I receive positive comments to something that I have written, or when someone comes up to me after a presentation to tell me how much they enjoyed my talk. When I teach I readily handout feedback forms to my audience. I generally limit the request to answering specific questions about the content, amount of information provided, and their perception as to my grasp of the particular subject or the amount of information provided. I find this to be helpful as I continually develop my material, and if I have done a good job I get a bit of a boost from the comments I receive. As you might expect, not all of the comments are positive, and sometimes they are downright brutal. I am learning to look more closely at the negative comments as usually there is some ring of truth in them. I try not to dwell on the negative, but it is important for me to know that not everyone likes what I have to say.
It seems that in the world of seminar facilitation, and certain types of academic teaching that soliciting feedback is a common and accepted practice. Yet, in many other areas of our lives the solicitation of feedback is actually frowned upon. We tend to view a request for feedback as a shameless solicitation for praise. The result is that for the most part we receive very little feedback in most areas of our lives. This leaves us to make decisions based on our own internal feedback monitor, which without some fine tuning can often lead us in the wrong direction. I once read that a jet aircraft has a number of systems and controls that act as a constant feedback loop system. This is necessary because the aircraft is constantly off course. In order to arrive at the planned destination the pilot makes a number of minor course corrections every several seconds. These seemingly minor corrections keep the plane on course and are the result of constant feedback.
Ed Koch was Mayor of New York City for twelve consecutive years. He is responsible for a number of accomplishments of note. Not the least of which is that he was able to balance the budget for the city and introduced Generally Accepted Accounting Practices to the fiscal management system. Koch also built over one hundred and fifty thousand units of affordable housing during his tenure increasing a much needed resource in the city. He is a flamboyant political character, and remains active and relevant even today at the age of eighty. Koch believes in keeping at it. His most recent book title “I’m Not Done Yet!: Keeping at it, Remaining Relevant, and Having the Time of My Life” is a testament to his abiding philosophy. How does a character like Ed Koch remain relevant? It is hard for many of us to imagine today that a man born in 1924 could have much to say that anyone would care to listen to. Yet, Koch writes reviews for three New York newspapers, still has a regular radio program, speaks internationally, and writes opinion columns that appear across the country on an almost weekly basis. How does he do it? Koch uses a feedback loop system.
One of the phrases that have made former Mayor Koch famous is “How Am I Doing?” This is Koch’s feedback loop system. When Koch was Mayor he was constantly seen asking the crowds at public gatherings “How Am I Doing?”. I am sure that in a city like New York where you can get an opinion by simply bumping against someone on a crowded subway (this would be negative feedback), Koch sometimes did not find himself in a position of receiving praise. Yet, to this day Koch has not stopped asking the question.
I think that it is time for more of us to take up Koch’s mantle and begin to ask the question “How Am I Doing?” We need to seek feedback both positive and negative in our lives. Generally the people around us don’t provide feedback unless we ask. My best test of this hypothesis is this blog where there are regular comments, but the ratio of those that comment to those that read is probably less than one commenter for every five readers. Perhaps that ratio is acceptable for a blog, but it is not acceptable for your life. You need regular feedback to let you know how you are doing. You need to have an instrument system that allows you to make course corrections when necessary. Not only do you need this, but those around you need it too. Feedback can come in the form of encouragement. Like when you congratulate a spouse or friend for keeping to their diet or exercise program. Maybe they have not yet reached their goal, but your feedback will resonate with them and provide encouragement that they are doing the right thing, and staying on course. You can even use your feedback loop system to provide negative feedback, but still leave a positive message. This can be done by talking about behavior you love to see, when perhaps the behavior being displayed is negative. Finally, use your feedback loop system to regularly seek comments and direction from those around you. Start asking “How Am I Doing?”
Why not make it a goal today to ask three people how you are doing. I recommend that you ask your spouse, ask your children, and ask a close friend. People that care about you will provide honest answers that may surprise you. Most of them will affirm that you are doing just fine. But make sure you listen to comments that don’t sing your praises. I am going to practice my feedback loop system today. I actually want the opinions of more than three people. You can start by commenting on this blog. So, what do you think? How Am I Doing?
It seems that in the world of seminar facilitation, and certain types of academic teaching that soliciting feedback is a common and accepted practice. Yet, in many other areas of our lives the solicitation of feedback is actually frowned upon. We tend to view a request for feedback as a shameless solicitation for praise. The result is that for the most part we receive very little feedback in most areas of our lives. This leaves us to make decisions based on our own internal feedback monitor, which without some fine tuning can often lead us in the wrong direction. I once read that a jet aircraft has a number of systems and controls that act as a constant feedback loop system. This is necessary because the aircraft is constantly off course. In order to arrive at the planned destination the pilot makes a number of minor course corrections every several seconds. These seemingly minor corrections keep the plane on course and are the result of constant feedback.
Ed Koch was Mayor of New York City for twelve consecutive years. He is responsible for a number of accomplishments of note. Not the least of which is that he was able to balance the budget for the city and introduced Generally Accepted Accounting Practices to the fiscal management system. Koch also built over one hundred and fifty thousand units of affordable housing during his tenure increasing a much needed resource in the city. He is a flamboyant political character, and remains active and relevant even today at the age of eighty. Koch believes in keeping at it. His most recent book title “I’m Not Done Yet!: Keeping at it, Remaining Relevant, and Having the Time of My Life” is a testament to his abiding philosophy. How does a character like Ed Koch remain relevant? It is hard for many of us to imagine today that a man born in 1924 could have much to say that anyone would care to listen to. Yet, Koch writes reviews for three New York newspapers, still has a regular radio program, speaks internationally, and writes opinion columns that appear across the country on an almost weekly basis. How does he do it? Koch uses a feedback loop system.
One of the phrases that have made former Mayor Koch famous is “How Am I Doing?” This is Koch’s feedback loop system. When Koch was Mayor he was constantly seen asking the crowds at public gatherings “How Am I Doing?”. I am sure that in a city like New York where you can get an opinion by simply bumping against someone on a crowded subway (this would be negative feedback), Koch sometimes did not find himself in a position of receiving praise. Yet, to this day Koch has not stopped asking the question.
I think that it is time for more of us to take up Koch’s mantle and begin to ask the question “How Am I Doing?” We need to seek feedback both positive and negative in our lives. Generally the people around us don’t provide feedback unless we ask. My best test of this hypothesis is this blog where there are regular comments, but the ratio of those that comment to those that read is probably less than one commenter for every five readers. Perhaps that ratio is acceptable for a blog, but it is not acceptable for your life. You need regular feedback to let you know how you are doing. You need to have an instrument system that allows you to make course corrections when necessary. Not only do you need this, but those around you need it too. Feedback can come in the form of encouragement. Like when you congratulate a spouse or friend for keeping to their diet or exercise program. Maybe they have not yet reached their goal, but your feedback will resonate with them and provide encouragement that they are doing the right thing, and staying on course. You can even use your feedback loop system to provide negative feedback, but still leave a positive message. This can be done by talking about behavior you love to see, when perhaps the behavior being displayed is negative. Finally, use your feedback loop system to regularly seek comments and direction from those around you. Start asking “How Am I Doing?”
Why not make it a goal today to ask three people how you are doing. I recommend that you ask your spouse, ask your children, and ask a close friend. People that care about you will provide honest answers that may surprise you. Most of them will affirm that you are doing just fine. But make sure you listen to comments that don’t sing your praises. I am going to practice my feedback loop system today. I actually want the opinions of more than three people. You can start by commenting on this blog. So, what do you think? How Am I Doing?
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Who Are These People?
Walking through our neighborhood recently on an unusually warm winter day I happened to notice that a new shop seems to have opened over the winter. This new shop is an antique store of sorts. Walking in to browse around the store I noticed that it was run by two older women who welcomed me in. They seemed to be comfortably sitting on old chairs that I guessed were for sale. I am not sure if all of the items in the store are antiques, but certainly many of the dishes, pots, and odd knick knacks seemed to my eye at least to be old enough to be antiques. But then again, I don’t know much about antiques. What caught my eye in one small section of the store was a case of sorts that was divided into a number of small boxes. There could have been as many as thirty or forty of these boxes, and in many ways it looked like the boxes once used in old hotels to hold the collection of room keys and assorted mail for guests. I examined the case closely and I imagined that this case would be even more interesting if you could put small models of people in each box. These people would represent the many people we meet in our lives and you could fill a room with many of these boxes.
I don’t know much about antiques, but I am a very experienced collector. My collection is not your typical collection and because of the nature of my collection I have no real means of putting it on display. Except for my imaginings of the case in that antique store, I don’t think I ever would have given my collection much thought for you see what I collect are people. Thinking back to that box I was imagining all of the people that I have had the privilege to know in my life time. I am not talking about the people I know of, but rather I am speaking of the people that I have known, and that also knew me. I imagine them as part of an interesting collection. Not necessarily a collection that fits together because of similarities, but more like a disparate group that helps to mark the times, places, and seasons of my life. This is a collection that perhaps has no value to my heirs, but means the world to me.
I wonder why it is at times that we feel such a need to categorize the people in our lives. We call people associates, acquaintances, neighbors, friends or family. Then there are all of the formal names like boss, teacher, pastor, mailman or barber. We know all of these people. Sometimes people cross categories such as when my barber also became a friend. Many years later, that same friend became a member of extended family through marriage, do you then call them a “family friend?” Of course in this case when I lost my hair my friend was clearly no longer my barber or “stylist” as I no longer have anything to style. I just wonder do all of these categories suggest some level or degree of relationships that makes one more or less significant than another.
Someone once told me that a real friend would lend you their dog if you were sick. Now, I have a dog and the last thing that I would do is lend him to someone that was sick. I mean the idea at first blush sounds gracious. However, I know that my dog requires to be let out at least three times every day and tries to consume half of everything I eat. How would that help a sick friend? No, I don’t think this is a good definition of friendship. Then I was thinking that a friend is someone that you can drop in on at any time without notice. Perhaps we could figure out who all of the people are that we would not mind seeing naked, unshaven, or half-dressed, who have not had their coffee yet. If we could create a list of these people then perhaps we could know who our real friends are.
Are our friends the people that we touch base with on a regular basis? I have a client or two that I call routinely. My purpose in making those calls is really to look for work. Still, I do call them often and I try my best to be cordial and not sound solicitous during the call. Are these my friends? What about the people that for their own reasons regularly call me or stop by. These are the people that make a feigned effort to ask about my life but then quickly jump into the real purpose of the call which is to tell me all about their lives. Since they can at times call almost daily, then surely these must be the people that I can consider my friends. Then again there is a religious group that comes by my house every Saturday, and I know that I am not friends with them.
Now, technology has brought a host of new people into my life. There are the people that I meet on eBay exchanging goods. The transactions where I am the seller tend to generate a number of email messages that are urgent and require response. These people even leave feedback for me (which is generally positive) and so if you regularly get messages from a person, and they are kind enough to give you positive feedback, then is this person a friend or family member? The newest experience with the people I meet through technology in my life is this blog. Here there are both passersby as well as loyal readers. There are also a small circle of people that take the time to read what I write and provide comments, offer encouragement, and relate stories. In a short time I have come to look forward to my daily and often times more frequent encounters with these people that I am coming to know. But the question remains, what box do I place these people in?
It seems to me now that perhaps the whole idea of having boxes and categories no longer works. I have heard the analogies of people seeing their world as a village. The little sayings like it takes a village to raise a child come to mind and on their face sound like the right message. I have never in my life spent even an hour in a village. I know nothing of what that would be like. I have enjoyed warm, loving and caring relationships with people that have arrived in my life though many a different station. I have called many of these people friends and later learned that they were not. I have also found myself in need whether it be in need of encouragement, good wishes, money, or just a place to hang out while I got my bearings during difficult periods in life. The people that have come to my aid during these times have been the most surprising. Sometimes family members are there. At other times people that I have known to be a friend have shown up to help see me through. Then there have been those loose acquaintances that have shown up at those critical times and displayed the compassion and kindness that would rival that of any family member or friend.
I guess that in the end I am blessed to have many people in my life. They come from many places, and they wear many different faces in my life. Yet, there are people in every category that have taught me that friendship is really not a label that you hang around the neck of someone. Friendship is a feeling that you experience with people. In some cases you know the faces of the people with whom you share friendship. Other times you experience this gift from people that remain unknown and faceless. Friends are sometimes near and often times far away. At this point in my life a few friends have even passed on. But the feeling that you experienced really never leaves you. You know your friends and they know you. Each of our friends touches our lives in a different way but you know their touch and you are always glad to have experienced their presence.
If you are reading this and find that perhaps I have touched your life in some way, would you leave a comment? Even if you do not, I know you have been here, and I thank you for being a part of my collection.
I don’t know much about antiques, but I am a very experienced collector. My collection is not your typical collection and because of the nature of my collection I have no real means of putting it on display. Except for my imaginings of the case in that antique store, I don’t think I ever would have given my collection much thought for you see what I collect are people. Thinking back to that box I was imagining all of the people that I have had the privilege to know in my life time. I am not talking about the people I know of, but rather I am speaking of the people that I have known, and that also knew me. I imagine them as part of an interesting collection. Not necessarily a collection that fits together because of similarities, but more like a disparate group that helps to mark the times, places, and seasons of my life. This is a collection that perhaps has no value to my heirs, but means the world to me.
I wonder why it is at times that we feel such a need to categorize the people in our lives. We call people associates, acquaintances, neighbors, friends or family. Then there are all of the formal names like boss, teacher, pastor, mailman or barber. We know all of these people. Sometimes people cross categories such as when my barber also became a friend. Many years later, that same friend became a member of extended family through marriage, do you then call them a “family friend?” Of course in this case when I lost my hair my friend was clearly no longer my barber or “stylist” as I no longer have anything to style. I just wonder do all of these categories suggest some level or degree of relationships that makes one more or less significant than another.
Someone once told me that a real friend would lend you their dog if you were sick. Now, I have a dog and the last thing that I would do is lend him to someone that was sick. I mean the idea at first blush sounds gracious. However, I know that my dog requires to be let out at least three times every day and tries to consume half of everything I eat. How would that help a sick friend? No, I don’t think this is a good definition of friendship. Then I was thinking that a friend is someone that you can drop in on at any time without notice. Perhaps we could figure out who all of the people are that we would not mind seeing naked, unshaven, or half-dressed, who have not had their coffee yet. If we could create a list of these people then perhaps we could know who our real friends are.
Are our friends the people that we touch base with on a regular basis? I have a client or two that I call routinely. My purpose in making those calls is really to look for work. Still, I do call them often and I try my best to be cordial and not sound solicitous during the call. Are these my friends? What about the people that for their own reasons regularly call me or stop by. These are the people that make a feigned effort to ask about my life but then quickly jump into the real purpose of the call which is to tell me all about their lives. Since they can at times call almost daily, then surely these must be the people that I can consider my friends. Then again there is a religious group that comes by my house every Saturday, and I know that I am not friends with them.
Now, technology has brought a host of new people into my life. There are the people that I meet on eBay exchanging goods. The transactions where I am the seller tend to generate a number of email messages that are urgent and require response. These people even leave feedback for me (which is generally positive) and so if you regularly get messages from a person, and they are kind enough to give you positive feedback, then is this person a friend or family member? The newest experience with the people I meet through technology in my life is this blog. Here there are both passersby as well as loyal readers. There are also a small circle of people that take the time to read what I write and provide comments, offer encouragement, and relate stories. In a short time I have come to look forward to my daily and often times more frequent encounters with these people that I am coming to know. But the question remains, what box do I place these people in?
It seems to me now that perhaps the whole idea of having boxes and categories no longer works. I have heard the analogies of people seeing their world as a village. The little sayings like it takes a village to raise a child come to mind and on their face sound like the right message. I have never in my life spent even an hour in a village. I know nothing of what that would be like. I have enjoyed warm, loving and caring relationships with people that have arrived in my life though many a different station. I have called many of these people friends and later learned that they were not. I have also found myself in need whether it be in need of encouragement, good wishes, money, or just a place to hang out while I got my bearings during difficult periods in life. The people that have come to my aid during these times have been the most surprising. Sometimes family members are there. At other times people that I have known to be a friend have shown up to help see me through. Then there have been those loose acquaintances that have shown up at those critical times and displayed the compassion and kindness that would rival that of any family member or friend.
I guess that in the end I am blessed to have many people in my life. They come from many places, and they wear many different faces in my life. Yet, there are people in every category that have taught me that friendship is really not a label that you hang around the neck of someone. Friendship is a feeling that you experience with people. In some cases you know the faces of the people with whom you share friendship. Other times you experience this gift from people that remain unknown and faceless. Friends are sometimes near and often times far away. At this point in my life a few friends have even passed on. But the feeling that you experienced really never leaves you. You know your friends and they know you. Each of our friends touches our lives in a different way but you know their touch and you are always glad to have experienced their presence.
If you are reading this and find that perhaps I have touched your life in some way, would you leave a comment? Even if you do not, I know you have been here, and I thank you for being a part of my collection.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
