My Thoughts on Blogging

1 – Blog daily and be brief (note to self to read this again)

2 – Tell the truth - Unless of course you write good fiction

3 – Do Not Steal. If you read something interesting or that you admire, don’t try to pass it off as yours, just link to the site and write about what you found interesting. The writer will love you for it

4 – Borrow html tags from other sites when you see something interesting or check out the following site for a good list of codes and tags html codes. Also see rule # 3 above

5 – If you need help, ask a blogger. Most people are more than willing to offer tips and advice

6 – Avoid profanity. It makes you look dull and uninteresting

7 – Let your mom read your blog. If she does not have a computer, then call her and read it to her. This really solves the problem of not calling your mother and she will delight in the knowledge that you can read and write. Also see rule # 6

8 – If you see something that makes you laugh or smile, blog it. There is too little joy in the world and sharing a smile will help someone. If what you see is an interesting blog, then leave a comment. Every blogger loves a compliment. Better still, leave a link to their site and become a Lovecat

9 – If you want traffic, do two things. First, write something interesting. Second, read other blogs and leave good comments. Traffic generators are generally a waste of your time.

10 – Never have the last word – That’s what comments are for. Now you can add to the list

No Mistakes Allowed

My idea of a bad day at the office would be receiving a telephone call from former President Clinton to tell me that I should look forward and learn from my mistakes, and recognize the opportunities that they provide.

Now maybe this is not exactly how the conversation went between former President Bill Clinton and Lawrence H. Summers, Harvard’s embattled president. Perhaps it was not a telephone call, but a face to face meeting over coffee. What ever the means was for delivering the message, I can only wonder how Lawrence Summers felt after receiving such advice from the former President.

I read an article this morning in the New York Times that suggests that Dr. Summers has been spending his days lately pondering his style. The writers opine that Summers, the 27th president of Harvard since its founding is “trying to become a new kind of man.” Of course Dr. Summers need for a makeover has come about not because of the latest trend in male cosmetic surgery, but rather because of a really stupid remark he made at a conference in January. The Times reporters tell us that Summers is surrounded by the best minds of Harvard and has turned to some of them for guidance. He has been counseled by the former President, is reading books about leadership, and he has recently taken his children to see the new Will Smith movie “Hitch.” For those that don’t know “Hitch” is a movie about a man who teaches other men to improve their skills at relating to women so that they can fall in love. One of the writers of the Times article actually asked Dr. Summers whether he could draw any parallels between the character played by Will Smith’s clients in the movie and himself. I guess that not only does Lawrence Summers make dumb statements, but the folks over at the Times can ask some stupid questions.

Everyone is talking about Dr. Summers remarks. There is an outcry for his resignation from Harvard. The school also appears likely to lose staff members over the remarks. But the really big question surrounding Dr. Summers is whether or not his continued leadership would hurt Harvard’s next big capital campaign which hopes to raise a record $4 billion. I just wonder if that issue is really the central issue for all of the good thinking people of Harvard. It seems to me that Dr. Summers is prone to remarks that suggest his views on discrimination do not agree with those of minorities and women in this country. I think that this time Dr. Summers simply spoke out a bit too candidly before a group that took him to task for his remarks. But I doubt seriously that these good people are shocked or surprised. They might however be fed up.

Will Dr. Summers resign as president of Harvard? Should he be forced to resign with a vote of no confidence next month? Will Dr. Summers be successful in his makeover attempts? I am sure that the answers to these questions will be played out in newspapers and television news over the next several weeks. My question is much more fundamental and simplistic. Are we all subject to losing our jobs if we hold opinions that do not agree with a particular segment of our society? I personally do not agree with Dr. Summers views on discrimination. I am unmoved by the feeble attempts to rephrase the content and context of his comments. Yet, I am also deeply troubled that we live in a society where we wait for evidence of mistakes (not crimes or moral misdeeds) of leaders and then call for their heads. Maybe Summers should resign. A great leader thinks first of their institution and their people. If Summers continued leadership is not in the best interest of Harvard then he should hand in his resignation. There must be one or two competent minds available to take his place (but can those minds raise the money). Let’s just see how he leads himself through this crisis. At the same time however let’s take a really close look at the screams and cries of the good people that want his head. Maybe there is something else at work here.

Maybe Lawrence Summers has a number of problems as the president of Harvard. Maybe he isn’t the right man for the job. But then again, maybe we have gone too far as a society where we seek out the flaws of anyone and everyone in high places and when found, it’s off with their heads. And we wonder why there are no real leaders anymore. I guess I could be wrong, but I can’t get fired for just a thought.

By the way, good luck with that makeover Larry.

A BLOG Book Report

Nearly two months ago I got into this business called blogging. To put it more correctly, I created my first Web Log back in the middle of January, but it really seems as though it has been much longer. I am not sure at this moment what led me to create a blog. But I can see that the process of writing every day and therefore thinking about things to write daily has generated a number of new ideas and a certain energy that I now feel about writing.

Thinking about the progress I have made with my personal projects by writing this blog has caused me to spend a lot of my time thinking about blogging and Web Logs in general. Sometimes when we focus our thoughts on a subject we become more aware of just how much that particular subject is evident in our daily life. The best example I can think of is what happens when you buy a new car. As soon as you buy the car you become aware of every other car just like yours. You observe the other people that drive your car, and you think about ways in which they are similar to or unlike you. And so, as I have been thinking more and more about blogging I have become aware of just how prevalent this phenomenon has become.

I have an inquiring mind and so it should come as no small surprise that I have spent time looking into this whole new world that I found. In this regard I consider myself like a Pilgrim that landed on Plymouth Rock. I have discovered a new world. Of course it does not matter to me that there had been “Indians” already blogging in this new world for years before I got here. For me like so many pilgrims, when I got here it was discovered and that is that. I can now only hope for fame and fortune and perhaps some day a state may be named after me. I think that “Harvana” has an interesting ring to it don’t you?

Late last night I finished reading the new book by Hugh Hewitt titled “BLOG - Understanding the Information Reformation That’s Changing Your World.” Hugh Hewitt is the host of a nationally syndicated radio show and law professor at Chapman University Law School. He is the author of the New York Times best-selling book If It’s Not Close, They Can’t Cheat. He has won three Emmy awards for his work on a PBS affiliate, and he is a blogger. You can read Hewitt’s blog at Hugh Hewitt.

I have no illusions that my mentioning of Hewitt on this page will make him any more famous than he already is. I also don’t think that he will honor my page by directing thousands of people my way, but I can dream can’t I? I mention his credentials because I think he has written a book that you must read and sometimes people will only read a book if they deem the author as important. Of course that is a whole other sad point for those of us that hope to some day move from the world of writers to the world of authors. But let’s get back to Hewitt. When I say you must read his book, exactly who am I talking about? The fact is that I am talking to everyone. If you need to get a message out, you should read BLOG. If you are the steward of a company or an institution, you should read BLOG. If you have something to sell, you should read BLOG. Finally, if you read or write blogs, then you should read BLOG. Look Hugh, four mentions in a row!

Hewitt likens the emergence of the blogosphere to the Protestant Reformation. This was for me the “Big Idea” in this book. Without going too long on this here, prior to the reformation the Roman Catholic Church held immense power and wealth in the Western world. The church controlled the very thoughts and ideas of the educated class. Additionally, the church controlled the sacred texts and limited access to those works to only the chosen few. This meant that the average citizen had no ability to challenge the established authorities. Hewitt, I think rightly, asserts that this control of information limited the freedom of the people of that time.

Since this is not intended to be a scholarly piece on the history of Western Civilization, let me fast forward. The reformation began when one man (Martin Luther) gathered his colleagues and began to challenge the teachings of the church. One such teaching was that absolution from sin could be purchased by paying for indulgences. Purchasers would be provided with letters that evidenced their absolution. Holders of these letters would produce them as evidence that they were in no further need of repentance. The time was the early 1500s and this idea did not resonate with Martin Luther. Luther responded in a fashion common to bloggers today. He got his pals together and wrote a blog. Well, he didn’t actually write a blog, but the 1517 equivalent was Luther’s Ninety-Five Theses. The process in those days was that if you wanted to talk about a matter, you posted it on the outside door of the church. Protocol of the time also required that you inform the local authority, in this case Albert, the Archbishop of Mainz. Luther’s actions are also an excellent lesson for modern bloggers. If your blog writes about the company you work for, then you might want to run your thoughts by the proper authorities before you push the “publish” button. If not, you could suffer the fate of those that opposed the church in the early 1500s, and frankly burning at the stake was not fun then and its 2005 equivalent is no fun today. .oO(I think I see the seeds of an article on blogging etiquette here).

I know that anyone still reading this is probably confused or worse lost. Please be patient with me as I press on. Luther’s Theses was written in Latin. In the 1500s Latin was the language of the educated class and so we can assume that Luther intended what he wrote to only reach a limited audience (another lesson for bloggers today is that you can’t know who is going to read what you wrote. Keep that in mind). It seems that immediately after the Theses was posted, someone copied it and translated the Theses into German which was the common language. This translation of Luther’s Theses was known all over Germany within two weeks. Within a month it was known all over Europe. A message moving this quickly in the 1500s was unheard of. The key to this whole story is that at the time of Luther’s Theses, Johannes Gutenberg’s printing press was changing the speed and cost with which information could be provided to the masses in the Western world. The combination of these two seemingly unrelated events led to vast changes within the Vatican, and ushered in an era where the church no longer controlled vital religious texts and thereby brought us Jim and Tammy Faye Baker. Well, maybe we can blame someone else for that, but I think you get the picture.

Hewitt introduces a term in his book called the “Blog Swarm.” He suggests that a blog swarm was responsible for the fall of Dan Rather after the story about the falsified documents concerning Bush’s military service. He attributes the failure of the Kerry campaign, the decline of the New York Times and CNN, and knocking Trent Lott down a peg to the persistence of bloggers. He does not mention it in his book but I will bet you the whole Terrell Owens and Desperate Housewives thing was also caused by bloggers. Of course this is the opinion of a man that is convinced that Ben Roethlisberger hurt his thumb while blogging and thus cost the Steelers their chance at one for the thumb. Hewitt says that every institution, every company, every sports team, and every leader should have a blog and pay attention to blogs that write about their organization. He believes that everyone should have an in-house blogger paid to blog and monitor blogs (man do I see consulting possibilities in this game).

Hewitt makes his point in a very convincing fashion. Of course, he is preaching to a blogger, but I still believe him. His book lists a number of popular blog sites that receive thousands of hits each day. I have listed a number of them below, not because I need to do that to make this point, but a bit of sucking up to the big guys can’t hurt. There are over four million blogs in existence today. The number of blogs is expected to double within the next year. But it’s still early in the game and not too late for you to jump in.

If you read this page and don’t have a blog, then you should get one. Just go here Blogger, or you can go here Typepad, because I believe in equal opportunity. If by some chance you are not one of the ten people that read my page and you think I am right, why not hire the guy that brought this to your attention? My email address is listed in my profile, and since I am not at all famous I will do it for you wholesale. Show this article to your boss. Show it to your Pastor. Show it to your friends, and if you may be so bold link it to your site. Hey, I have little shame after I invested the time to read the book and then write about it. If you don’t do anything else I have said, then just get a copy of the book. I didn’t buy mine and I am not telling you to buy yours either (Hugh Hewitt is doing just fine with that from his own site). I got my copy at the local library, and I will be returning it tomorrow. The entire book is only two-hundred and twenty-five pages. If you took the time to read all of this, then you can read the book over the weekend.

Now this has been a very long book report and I apologize for taking up so much of your time that you would otherwise spend surfing the web or some other such productive thing. Of course, I am getting this out so late that if this is what you are doing on Friday night, then your life is about as interesting as mine. Welcome to the club.

Interesting Blog sites for you to review

Instapundit

Infinite Monkeys Blog

Lileks

Dogma off the Chain

I woke up early this morning to find out that the weather people got one right. “Big storm headed our way” were the dire warnings as I went to bed last night. One of our local television stations has what they call their “Severe Weather Center”. It is shown repeatedly throughout the day, and it does not matter if it is sunny and warm outside. We have this constant reminder that there could be severe weather at any moment. And what do we do? Of course we watch. There is something about seeing flooding in someone else’s basement that can keep us coming back for more. We had a tornado hit a neighborhood here about four years ago. The news still shows us flashes of that event. I guess that severe weather sells.

The big storm turned out to be about two inches in my neighborhood this morning. This is still enough snow to cause a two hour school delay. I never did understand these delays until this winter. It seems that the real purpose of a delay is to allow all of the parents enough time to call each other to determine if the school is really delayed or closed. If you call enough people then that can take about two hours in the morning. Of course, there are a few parents that actually get up fairly early, check to see if there is a delay, and then go back to sleep. When you call those parents they are pretty angry.

Whenever we have a delay I have a major decision to make. Which is better? Do you wake the boys up early to tell them that they can sleep in, or do you just let them sleep in and wander in later asking if there is a delay? Personally I like knowing that I just received a bonus. The opportunity to spend found time would seem to me to be the better choice. I have learned through negative feedback at my house that my family thinks differently. They prefer to sleep in and be surprised when they wake up with the light shining in their eyes. I am such a creature of habit that I just tend to get up at my regular time and go about my routine. Still, the delay does tend to throw off my finely tuned schedule, and it is absolutely unnerving for parents that still need to get to the office on time.

Today we had a dilemma because Thursday is “Chapel” day. Weekly chapel is a tradition at the school that my children attend. Chapel is a very well executed ecumenical tradition. Students of many faiths attend our school and so the ceremony primarily is an opportunity to allow for reflection and reinforcement of the values established within the school. I describe the service as the equivalent of “Dogma off the chain.” This tradition works and functions as a central part of the week for our children. During this roughly forty minute service students are recognized for achievements in both academics and character. Students and faculty alike participate in singing songs of hope and encouragement, and they begin to recognize the value in regularly taking time to reflect upon their individual faith.

Chapel begins at roughly 8:10 on Thursday morning. With today’s two-hour delay to the start of school we had a problem. You see attending chapel requires that the children dress in their school blazer, wear shoes instead of their normal sneakers, and put on a white shirt and tie (just imagine what your work place looked like twenty years ago and you get the picture). At the end of chapel of course all of the boys immediately strip off their ties, and promptly remove the dreaded leather shoes. In essence they return to the attire of children in school today.

This morning our telephone was buzzing as parents and children alike were completely confused about what to wear. The burning question of the morning was “will we have chapel today?” I first attempted to ward off this question with parental logic. I deduced that chapel was not necessarily a part of the educational requirements of a school day. As such, in a day shortened by two hours, chapel would be cancelled for this week. In the five years that our children have attended this school we have never had a reason to think about this as there has never been a school delay on Thursday. My parental logic was completely insufficient for my sons and so they decided that torturing their mother was the simplest recourse. Of course totally unaware of these events I went about the business of playing outside in the snow and pretending to clear the walkways.

When I returned to the house after getting wet enough outside I was informed of the issue of the day. Once again I tried to apply my parental logic but this time my sons would have none of it. They insisted that we had to talk with other parents and classmates. And it seems that in other households this same question was being pressed upon the parents.

I have written here before that my sons are twins. Contrary to what most people believe they are as different as night and day. Max was trying as hard as he might to exercise his considerable will on us to agree that he should dress in his chapel uniform. Alex is our free spirit. It was Alex that came up with the solution. Alex said that this decision is a decision in self-leadership. He said if Max wants to dress in his chapel uniform than he should do that. Alex went on to say that for him, he believed that this was a matter of personal choice. Since no rules had previously been established any choice you make can not be wrong and you can’t get into trouble. So, he was wearing his polo shirt, and school uniform trousers. I just stood back and experienced the feeling that you get when realize that your child really does get it.

Before the boys left for school today they asked me what I thought I was going to write about. They said “isn’t this the time that you usually spend brainstorming about what to write about?” Every day I try to look for examples of people, events and ideas around me that demonstrate the need for finding your V.O.I.C.E. I believe that exercising personal leadership is vitally important and have talked about it here The Leadership Compass.

Well Alex, I think you have your answer. I am not going to write about anything today. I am just going to report the story about why personal leadership is important in our life. Thank you for the demonstration.

Finding Your V.O.I.C.E. at the Top of a Mountain

Last night I had the opportunity to speak before a group of about seventy-five people. The occasion was a reception to celebrate the accomplishments of five members of a popular downtown private club. The five people being honored were recognized as “Champions” of the club in recognition of their accomplishments and achievements in fostering the growth and advancement of the club. I have learned that one who desires to advance their career in speaking and seminar facilitation should accept every opportunity to speak before a group. Even though I was offered only a small part in the evening’s festivities, I gladly accepted. I also accepted because I was being asked to be there to speak about and honor a friend and colleague.

The formal presentations of the evening consisted of having several persons, give a brief speech and introduction of an honoree. The speeches varied in length and level of interest to the diverse crowd. As often happens when I give a speech I don’t really recall much of what I actually said as compared to my prepared and well rehearsed remarks. Even small occasions such as these require preparation. I was told that I did well, and for this purpose that was sufficient. What I particularly recall was the introduction of one of the honorees. That was the introduction of a young man named Will Cross.

Will Cross was introduced by his proud father-in-law. He described Will as an adventurer. This description automatically peaked my interest, and I listened closely. Will Cross is an adventurer extrordinaire. He is presently engaged in an attempt to complete the “NovoLog Peaks and Poles Challenge”. This is a challenge to climb the highest mountains on each continent, and walk to each of the poles. Cross completed the first part of this adventure when he completed the nearly seven-hundred mile walk across Antarctica to the South Pole. He has already climbed Mount Kilimanjaro and Mt. Vinson. Last year Cross made his first attempt to climb to the summit of Mount Everest, and fell about one thousand feet short of his goal. A second attempt at reaching the top of that mountain is planned for this coming March.

Mountain climbing lore details the feats of the people that have climbed the highest peaks in the world. Nearly one-thousand men and women have reached the summit of Mount Everest. Approximately one-hundred or so climbers reach the summit annually. Success on these trips requires a rare combination of personal fortitude, physical endurance and luck with uncontrollable factors such as the weather. Climbs can take as long as two to three months to complete from the start of the journey. During that time you are forced to test the limits of your body, mind and spirit. This is a severe test for everyone that attempts such a climb. For Will Cross, this was even more of a challenge.

Will Cross is a type one diabetic. People with type one diabetes cannot make insulin. Insulin is a hormone which carries glucose from the bloodstream to the body tissues where it is used to produce energy. This means that Will had to wrestle with all of the physical limitations of his climb, which includes dealing with severe temperatures (as low as 50 degrees below zero wind chill at night), oxygen deprivation at high altitude which leads to “hypoxia”, a condition which limits normal brain function, and consuming a specially designed diet. Yet, it was also necessary for Will to carefully manage his blood sugar levels with insulin throughout the entire trip.

Meeting and talking with Will only briefly made me an unabashed fan. Will Cross has found his V.O.I.C.E. Prior to beginning his adventures to climb mountains and walk to the poles, Will taught in a local school district. Even in this endeavor, Will was unique. He was the Principal of a specially formed unit within the school district that worked exclusively with troubled youth. Will displays the Value of helping others to improve their lives. Will’s first Objective was to walk across Antarctica. He was clear in that Objective, and without having ever done so before raised funds and sponsorship for the trek which he completed in January of 2003. Will demonstrates Integrity in that his commitment was to climb Mount Everest. He missed the summit by less than one-thousand feet. However, equipment failure and a healthy dose of prudence (Will is a husband and father of five children) caused him to abandon that attempt. Integrity is not reflected in “rodeo king” arrogance, and failures to follow pre-established rules and guidelines as has been fatally learned by other climbers on Mount Everest. Yet, Will plans to attempt to reach the summit of that mountain once again this March. The Choices Will has already made in his life reflect his understanding of the need to be a role model to others that are living with what many consider a debilitating disease. Finally, Will has E-cubed as his Emotional Energy and Edge come through in his warm smile, his gritty determination, and willingness to help others, yet still tackle incredible feats.

How might you react if someone told you that climbing the mountains necessary to reach your goals had about a one in six chance of success? What if you were told that nearly two hundred people before you had died trying to do what you set out to do? What might you be willing to risk if you knew that even if you succeed in reaching your personal summit you would only spend ten to fifteen minutes there? What excuses might you make if you had a disease that limits your energy? What would you do after you had a chance to meet someone that has reached their summits and yet still seeks to reach higher heights?

I have had a chance to meet such a man. That chance meeting has encouraged me to know that each of us can and must find our V.O.I.C.E. I look forward to learning more about Will Cross in the coming days. You can learn about him and his company by clicking on the following link Will Cross

“I have climbed my mountain, but I must still live my life.” – Tenzing Norgay

What Were They Thinking

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- Bill Clinton

In the mid 1990s my children were fascinated with a daily television program called Blue’s Clues. For those unfamiliar with the show, it features just two main characters. There was Blue, a cartoon animation of a blue colored dog, and then there was Steve, the “Human” host of the show. The show was about the adventures and misadventures of Blue. During the half-hour show Blue interacted in a variety of situations that provided learning opportunities for children. During each of the interactions Blue leaves “clues” in the form of paw prints on pieces of a puzzle. Throughout the show children are prompted to figure out the clue puzzles. At the end of the show the host, Steve collects all of the puzzles and puts them together and prompts the television audience to help him solve the puzzle. He does this while sitting in “The Thinking Chair.” This show was mind numbing for adults. The format of the show was very flat, dull, and deliberate. The show utilizes repetition and long pauses to the point where any adult would go screaming from the room, or at least find themselves screaming at Steve to “get on with it already!” But, the show worked for children. Observing any child under the age of five watching the show was amazing. The children interacted with the show and Steve in a way that was incredible. The show worked.

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

Last year I read Malcolm Gladwell’s “The Tipping Point.” There is a section of the book that brought back the whole memory of Blue’s Clues. Even though I painfully watched the show a number of times with my children, it was not until I read Gladwell’s book that I was struck by the way that Steve ended every show. I think that I was always just so happy to see it end that I missed it. The end of the show features the “Thinking Chair.”

The idea of having a thinking chair resonated with me because in my office I have a thinking chair. Not many people know that this is what I call it because I am frequently found sleeping in my thinking chair. I designated the chair my thinking chair because it is where I go when I want to just think. The chair is less than three feet away from my desk, but the fact that I go there to think helps me to change perspective.

It was James Allen a philosopher who wrote in “As a Man Thinketh” “Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions can never produce good results.” This simple statement points out a simple truth which is that the quality of our thinking impacts the quality of the results that we achieve. This causes us to understand that we need to examine our thinking. We need to constantly ask ourselves “what are we thinking?”

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version," -- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.

There are so many different kinds of thought that we can engage in throughout our day. Many of these happen without your urging and often go on without you noticing. Just the process of beginning your day required a number of thoughts and decisions. Some of those were conscious, yet many were below your conscious level. Sometimes the unconscious decisions that you made in the morning are the ones that you question later in the day. Questions like “what in the world made me wear this today?” are common examples of this. For most of us our real thinking time is not actually thinking, but rather it is time spent worrying. While worrying does involve thinking, I want to just remind you that worrying is just based on fear. Fear is: False Expectations Appearing Real. All of us are fairly accomplished at the worrying form of thinking. I would like to suggest to you that there are a variety of other forms of thinking that you can engage in. Here are just a few examples: reflective thinking, creative thinking, strategic thinking, focused thinking, and possibility thinking. Or, you can do what Donald Trump says “You have to think anyway, so why not think big?

We need to broaden our thinking. Thinking big is a great place to start. I am reminded of the “Peanuts” cartoon strip created by Charles Schultz. In one particular cartoon, Charlie Brown is holding up his hands and telling Lucy, “These are hands which may someday accomplish great things. These are hands which may someday do marvelous works! They may build mighty bridges, or heal the sick, or hit home runs, or write soul-stirring novels! These are the hands which may someday change the course of destiny!” Lucy looks at Charlie Brown’s hands and simply says, “They’ve got jelly on them.”

We all have a Lucy in our lives that can bring us back down to earth. But even our Lucy’s are important because they can add to what I think of as your “Google Group.” This is a group of people that you must have if you want to elevate your thinking. You should appoint to this group people that help you think differently. In my own life I have identified several people that I know think a certain way. I know that when I need to think strategically, I call my friend Dan. When thinking reflectively, I call my Mom. Critical thinking falls to Suman. The list goes on and some of the names would probably prefer not to be “outed”. Each of these people in their unique way helps me think.

"The word “genius” isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein," -- Joe Theisman, former NFL quarterback & sports analyst.

Thinking requires the proper environment and for most of us the proper time of day. I do my best thinking before 9:00 in the morning. Perhaps you think best at a different time. But it is important to keep in mind what John Maxwell says “Ideas have a short shelf life. We must act on them before they expire.” There is a valuable tool that I use to assist my thinking. Actually, the tool is more of a capture device. This is a simple leather bound book that I carry with me everywhere I go. In this book I write every idea, thought, number, reminder, or list. Some of these things get transferred to my calendar or contact system later in the day, but the ever present book is there to capture every thought that runs through my head. This book is with me when I read, when I listen to someone speak, and even when watching television. Thoughts and ideas come from everywhere around you and you don’t want to miss a chance to catch one. One clear benefit to all of this thinking is that you begin to collect ideas. These will spur other ideas and ultimately great thoughts. But it all starts with practice. Make time to think. Practice thinking regularly. I schedule one hour each day that is devoted to thinking and sometimes I make it through without falling asleep. I can’t say that as of yet I have had a thought that will change the world, but I believe that I will not end up like the hapless examples I have included in this article that have demonstrated what happens to people that are not spending enough time thinking.

“Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always been a real deep thinker and stuff” – Billy Ray Cyrus, country music singer.

I want to hear from you. What do you think about this idea? Note the addition of two comments sections below. The comments on the left are for longer comments. You can use the comments on the right to leave a shorter response.

I forgot that I wanted to give credit for some of the quotes to the folowing website :
QUOTES

Hey, How You Doin?

As a writer and speaker I am always encouraged when I receive positive comments to something that I have written, or when someone comes up to me after a presentation to tell me how much they enjoyed my talk. When I teach I readily handout feedback forms to my audience. I generally limit the request to answering specific questions about the content, amount of information provided, and their perception as to my grasp of the particular subject or the amount of information provided. I find this to be helpful as I continually develop my material, and if I have done a good job I get a bit of a boost from the comments I receive. As you might expect, not all of the comments are positive, and sometimes they are downright brutal. I am learning to look more closely at the negative comments as usually there is some ring of truth in them. I try not to dwell on the negative, but it is important for me to know that not everyone likes what I have to say.

It seems that in the world of seminar facilitation, and certain types of academic teaching that soliciting feedback is a common and accepted practice. Yet, in many other areas of our lives the solicitation of feedback is actually frowned upon. We tend to view a request for feedback as a shameless solicitation for praise. The result is that for the most part we receive very little feedback in most areas of our lives. This leaves us to make decisions based on our own internal feedback monitor, which without some fine tuning can often lead us in the wrong direction. I once read that a jet aircraft has a number of systems and controls that act as a constant feedback loop system. This is necessary because the aircraft is constantly off course. In order to arrive at the planned destination the pilot makes a number of minor course corrections every several seconds. These seemingly minor corrections keep the plane on course and are the result of constant feedback.

Ed Koch was Mayor of New York City for twelve consecutive years. He is responsible for a number of accomplishments of note. Not the least of which is that he was able to balance the budget for the city and introduced Generally Accepted Accounting Practices to the fiscal management system. Koch also built over one hundred and fifty thousand units of affordable housing during his tenure increasing a much needed resource in the city. He is a flamboyant political character, and remains active and relevant even today at the age of eighty. Koch believes in keeping at it. His most recent book title “I’m Not Done Yet!: Keeping at it, Remaining Relevant, and Having the Time of My Life” is a testament to his abiding philosophy. How does a character like Ed Koch remain relevant? It is hard for many of us to imagine today that a man born in 1924 could have much to say that anyone would care to listen to. Yet, Koch writes reviews for three New York newspapers, still has a regular radio program, speaks internationally, and writes opinion columns that appear across the country on an almost weekly basis. How does he do it? Koch uses a feedback loop system.

One of the phrases that have made former Mayor Koch famous is “How Am I Doing?” This is Koch’s feedback loop system. When Koch was Mayor he was constantly seen asking the crowds at public gatherings “How Am I Doing?”. I am sure that in a city like New York where you can get an opinion by simply bumping against someone on a crowded subway (this would be negative feedback), Koch sometimes did not find himself in a position of receiving praise. Yet, to this day Koch has not stopped asking the question.

I think that it is time for more of us to take up Koch’s mantle and begin to ask the question “How Am I Doing?” We need to seek feedback both positive and negative in our lives. Generally the people around us don’t provide feedback unless we ask. My best test of this hypothesis is this blog where there are regular comments, but the ratio of those that comment to those that read is probably less than one commenter for every five readers. Perhaps that ratio is acceptable for a blog, but it is not acceptable for your life. You need regular feedback to let you know how you are doing. You need to have an instrument system that allows you to make course corrections when necessary. Not only do you need this, but those around you need it too. Feedback can come in the form of encouragement. Like when you congratulate a spouse or friend for keeping to their diet or exercise program. Maybe they have not yet reached their goal, but your feedback will resonate with them and provide encouragement that they are doing the right thing, and staying on course. You can even use your feedback loop system to provide negative feedback, but still leave a positive message. This can be done by talking about behavior you love to see, when perhaps the behavior being displayed is negative. Finally, use your feedback loop system to regularly seek comments and direction from those around you. Start asking “How Am I Doing?”

Why not make it a goal today to ask three people how you are doing. I recommend that you ask your spouse, ask your children, and ask a close friend. People that care about you will provide honest answers that may surprise you. Most of them will affirm that you are doing just fine. But make sure you listen to comments that don’t sing your praises. I am going to practice my feedback loop system today. I actually want the opinions of more than three people. You can start by commenting on this blog. So, what do you think? How Am I Doing?

Who Are These People?

Walking through our neighborhood recently on an unusually warm winter day I happened to notice that a new shop seems to have opened over the winter. This new shop is an antique store of sorts. Walking in to browse around the store I noticed that it was run by two older women who welcomed me in. They seemed to be comfortably sitting on old chairs that I guessed were for sale. I am not sure if all of the items in the store are antiques, but certainly many of the dishes, pots, and odd knick knacks seemed to my eye at least to be old enough to be antiques. But then again, I don’t know much about antiques. What caught my eye in one small section of the store was a case of sorts that was divided into a number of small boxes. There could have been as many as thirty or forty of these boxes, and in many ways it looked like the boxes once used in old hotels to hold the collection of room keys and assorted mail for guests. I examined the case closely and I imagined that this case would be even more interesting if you could put small models of people in each box. These people would represent the many people we meet in our lives and you could fill a room with many of these boxes.

I don’t know much about antiques, but I am a very experienced collector. My collection is not your typical collection and because of the nature of my collection I have no real means of putting it on display. Except for my imaginings of the case in that antique store, I don’t think I ever would have given my collection much thought for you see what I collect are people. Thinking back to that box I was imagining all of the people that I have had the privilege to know in my life time. I am not talking about the people I know of, but rather I am speaking of the people that I have known, and that also knew me. I imagine them as part of an interesting collection. Not necessarily a collection that fits together because of similarities, but more like a disparate group that helps to mark the times, places, and seasons of my life. This is a collection that perhaps has no value to my heirs, but means the world to me.

I wonder why it is at times that we feel such a need to categorize the people in our lives. We call people associates, acquaintances, neighbors, friends or family. Then there are all of the formal names like boss, teacher, pastor, mailman or barber. We know all of these people. Sometimes people cross categories such as when my barber also became a friend. Many years later, that same friend became a member of extended family through marriage, do you then call them a “family friend?” Of course in this case when I lost my hair my friend was clearly no longer my barber or “stylist” as I no longer have anything to style. I just wonder do all of these categories suggest some level or degree of relationships that makes one more or less significant than another.

Someone once told me that a real friend would lend you their dog if you were sick. Now, I have a dog and the last thing that I would do is lend him to someone that was sick. I mean the idea at first blush sounds gracious. However, I know that my dog requires to be let out at least three times every day and tries to consume half of everything I eat. How would that help a sick friend? No, I don’t think this is a good definition of friendship. Then I was thinking that a friend is someone that you can drop in on at any time without notice. Perhaps we could figure out who all of the people are that we would not mind seeing naked, unshaven, or half-dressed, who have not had their coffee yet. If we could create a list of these people then perhaps we could know who our real friends are.

Are our friends the people that we touch base with on a regular basis? I have a client or two that I call routinely. My purpose in making those calls is really to look for work. Still, I do call them often and I try my best to be cordial and not sound solicitous during the call. Are these my friends? What about the people that for their own reasons regularly call me or stop by. These are the people that make a feigned effort to ask about my life but then quickly jump into the real purpose of the call which is to tell me all about their lives. Since they can at times call almost daily, then surely these must be the people that I can consider my friends. Then again there is a religious group that comes by my house every Saturday, and I know that I am not friends with them.

Now, technology has brought a host of new people into my life. There are the people that I meet on eBay exchanging goods. The transactions where I am the seller tend to generate a number of email messages that are urgent and require response. These people even leave feedback for me (which is generally positive) and so if you regularly get messages from a person, and they are kind enough to give you positive feedback, then is this person a friend or family member? The newest experience with the people I meet through technology in my life is this blog. Here there are both passersby as well as loyal readers. There are also a small circle of people that take the time to read what I write and provide comments, offer encouragement, and relate stories. In a short time I have come to look forward to my daily and often times more frequent encounters with these people that I am coming to know. But the question remains, what box do I place these people in?

It seems to me now that perhaps the whole idea of having boxes and categories no longer works. I have heard the analogies of people seeing their world as a village. The little sayings like it takes a village to raise a child come to mind and on their face sound like the right message. I have never in my life spent even an hour in a village. I know nothing of what that would be like. I have enjoyed warm, loving and caring relationships with people that have arrived in my life though many a different station. I have called many of these people friends and later learned that they were not. I have also found myself in need whether it be in need of encouragement, good wishes, money, or just a place to hang out while I got my bearings during difficult periods in life. The people that have come to my aid during these times have been the most surprising. Sometimes family members are there. At other times people that I have known to be a friend have shown up to help see me through. Then there have been those loose acquaintances that have shown up at those critical times and displayed the compassion and kindness that would rival that of any family member or friend.

I guess that in the end I am blessed to have many people in my life. They come from many places, and they wear many different faces in my life. Yet, there are people in every category that have taught me that friendship is really not a label that you hang around the neck of someone. Friendship is a feeling that you experience with people. In some cases you know the faces of the people with whom you share friendship. Other times you experience this gift from people that remain unknown and faceless. Friends are sometimes near and often times far away. At this point in my life a few friends have even passed on. But the feeling that you experienced really never leaves you. You know your friends and they know you. Each of our friends touches our lives in a different way but you know their touch and you are always glad to have experienced their presence.

If you are reading this and find that perhaps I have touched your life in some way, would you leave a comment? Even if you do not, I know you have been here, and I thank you for being a part of my collection.

Fantastic Voyage

Years ago I had a favorite T-shirt that had the following words printed on the front “sixty hours till Monday, thirty-eight dollars and change.” This cryptic message comes back to me from time to time and reminds me of the many different ways I have spent my weekends over the past twenty-five years. A lot has changed in those twenty-five years but I do still love the T-shirt.

Most weekends in our house are centered on activities that allow us to wind down from the week. We often have our extended family members visit on Friday night so sometimes the wind down period is actually quite hectic. Members of my wife’s family will come to visit bringing along their children and our house is filled with the sounds and dietary demands of children ranging in age from six-months to nine and a half years old. Last night, with the addition of my wife’s mother, the age range in our house was six-months to seventy-nine years old. Our boys played games with their grandmother (electronic Battleship and Dominoes), the younger children seemed to play with something different every five minutes or otherwise follow the older children, and the infant child just watched in amazement as all of the activity buzzed about. I would join the scene for brief moments to get something from the kitchen or to eat dinner, but for me quieter pursuits bring me more pleasure on a Friday night. Besides, I had a book that I was determined to finish.

After I finished reading my book I was really too tired to do much more. It had been a long week. Retreating to my office in our home (this really is just a space where I both work and relax) I found that it was far enough from the activity to give me peace, and yet close enough that I could still check in from time to time. I decided that I was not going to do anything that resembled work this evening, no writing, no thinking, not even checking email (I did check before going to bed).

I have a small television in my office, just a thirteen inch model that gets basic cable. This means that I can watch the “lower” range of stations on cable, most of which include such channels as the local television stations, ESPN and American Movie Classics or Turner Classic Television. These channels tend to show the old movies and I enjoy watching them when I have the time. Last night the classic movie that was on one of the channels was “Fantastic Voyage.” Fantastic Voyage was filmed in 1966 and while thought to be based on the novel by Isaac Asimov, was actually written by Jerome Bixby. I will come back to Asimov a bit later.

Fantastic Voyage is a movie that I enjoyed as a young child. The premise of the movie is best described by one of the tag lines from the movie “A Fantastic and Spectacular Voyage...Through The Human Body...Into The Brain.” In truth the movie is neither fantastic nor spectacular. One of the stars of the movie is Raquel Welch, and there are a couple of fantastic shots of her in the movie, but that is not relevant to this story.

While I was watching the movie I was joined by my son, Max. Since I was sitting in my favorite chair, Max took a seat at my desk. I have this tendency to multi-task so while watching the movie I was reading yet another book. There are so many commercial breaks in old movies that I can get a fair amount of reading in. Max was multi-tasking also. He sat at my desk and was writing a story (observe how what we do influences our children) about how his cousin (a six year old girl who at that moment was down stairs screaming in the kitchen) sometimes annoys him. He said, “I really like seeing her but sometimes she gets on my nerves.” I suggested that he should write his story about that while trying to find the humor in the situation. I don’t think that he actually finished his story last night, but then we all know how that works. During one point when both Max and I were watching the movie I was reminiscing about how I had watched the movie when I was about his age. Max’s response was “you mean they had televisions back then?”

When my children ask me questions about the past sometimes it reminds me of how old I really am. But Max’s question sparked a flood of memories about life back in the sixties that I remember fondly. Yes, we did have television then. We also had something else, the Drive In Theater. Back when I was a child our Friday nights were spent at the Drive In Theater. Drive Ins had everything a young kid could want on a Friday night. We would all climb into our family station wagon and head there as soon as my stepfather came home from work. In the summer, that meant that we would arrive early enough to enjoy the playground, play catch, and my sisters would jump rope. Our family would always bring food from home because it was far too expensive to eat the food from the snack bar. Still, mom would allow us to get a treat from the snack bar during the intermission. There was an intermission because usually there were two or three movies playing every night. The progression as I can recall it was a kid friendly movie first, then ending with something that the adults would enjoy watching when the kids would finally fall asleep. I remember that I first saw “Blazing Saddles” at the Drive In. The cost was sometimes just one dollar per carload. We would go to the theater with as many as eight people in our car. We could do that then because there were no car seats, and seat belt use was not then the law of the land.

Cars were really big in the sixties. Of course by today’s standards of the SUV that my family drives perhaps this is not so different. Back then we fed our gas guzzler with “Hi-Test” which only cost nineteen point nine cents per gallon. I still can’t figure out how they worked the point nine part since you always paid with cash. How exactly would you have covered the point nine tenths of a cent if you filled up at that precise point? I am going to have to research that one. Any way, the car had roll-up windows. Not the electric one touch type my kids have come to expect. We also had just an AM radio. Except for the advent of radio Disney, it is likely that my children would even know about AM or FM radio.

During our summer vacations in the sixties our family could not afford to go away for any length of time. So, our summers included “day trips.” That was a trip where you would leave in the morning and return to your home at some point within the next eighteen hours, and usually included a stretch were my dad would fall asleep in the car. Growing up in Philadelphia, this meant that we could travel to New York City, Washington D.C., Harrisburg Pennsylvania, and the New Jersey shore. We liked the shore the best. One of our favorite destination was Atlantic City long before casino gambling. We would pack up the car and our bathing suits and head for the beach. The favorite all day beach was Wild Wood, New Jersey. There the beach included a day in the sand and then off to the board walk at night. Our family car was the central rendezvous location. During the day we would go back to the car to get more food, change clothes (you just lived with the sand in your underpants) and even have a nap as the day wore on. The night was filled with riding the rides on the board walk and eating waffles and ice cream, corn dogs, and lemonade. By the end of the day we were always sick from a toxic combination of food, an excess of sun, sand, and sugar.

As Max and I sat in our respective places multi-tasking I could not help but have the flood of memories from my youth. The sixties have marked my life and my point of view in so many ways. Some of those memories are profound, some sad, but most were of happy times just being a ten year old and playing whenever I could.

Before I forget let’s get back to Isaac Asimov. My son Max really enjoyed the recent movie I-Robot starring Will Smith. This movie is based on the Science Fiction novel that unlike Fantastic Voyage was actually written by Isaac Asimov. This morning I found it pretty amazing how I could be sitting in my chair in 2005 with a child born in the nineties (my own son), and could be linked to the memories of a child born in the fifties while watching together a movie from the sixties. After all of these years I do still enjoy my Friday nights. No period of my life has been better, and Friday is still my favorite day of the week this has really been a fantastic voyage.

I Think I May have Caught a Virus

I should have recognized it last night when I went to bed, but I was so tired I attributed the feeling to exhaustion. It woke me up during the night, and I recognized it instantly. Despite everything I have done this winter to ward it off, it had finally caught up to me. But this feels so different from what everyone else has described as their symptoms.

It started in my head. I had that full feeling that I sometimes get. I felt like my head was going to explode. I could not handle another single thought. When it woke me up last night I was convinced that this was going to be awful. I tried to remain optimistic, tried to engage in positive thinking telling myself over and over that I can not succumb to this. But then when I thought about it more, I realized that this was inevitable. Almost everyone around me already had it, and the kids were telling me about some of their friends that had it too. My experience has been that whenever they get anything at school, whether my kids get it or not, sooner or later, I am going to come down with it too.

Sometimes you think back over the past couple of days and then you can remember exactly how it happened. For me, I think that it started with one of the guys I had lunch with earlier in the week. He had it and I can recall thinking about it right after I shook his hand. I had already been to the restroom prior to his arrival, and I felt oddly about going off again. I did not want it to appear that I had some sort of compulsion or something. Then again, it could have been that guy in the bookstore the other day. He didn’t look too good either. Of course another possibility could be the drastic swing in the weather this week. On Tuesday it was over fifty-five degrees and sunny. I did go out on my bike for a ride. The weather changed drastically since then. Last night it was cold and snowy and perhaps that is how I got it. With everything that is going around sometimes you just can’t know for sure where it came from. The good news for me at least is that I am going to try hard not to pass it on. The weather is not that great today and maybe just staying home is the best thing that I can do.

The last time I had it I called my friend Jonathan to talk with him about it. He is a Doctor in North Carolina. Despite the distance, I find that he can usually diagnose my problem over the telephone. The last time this happened to me I called him and sure enough he knew exactly what I had and was able to suggest a simple remedy. He is such a concerned physician that he also thought that maybe he needed to see me. I thought about it for a moment but realized that this was just something simple and that I would be alright in a couple of days. What he suggested then actually worked for me.

It is frustrating for me to think that I could catch this. I really try hard to get the proper rest, I exercise regularly, and for the most part I eat well (I don’t think that potato chips with lunch made this happen). Once before when I had this a friend told me that it is just a virus. When you are exposed to it there is little or nothing you can do. He said despite all of the advances in modern medicine there really is no cure. You just treat the symptoms.

I am firmly convinced now that it did start with that guy at lunch. He had such a negative attitude. His entire discussion during our business meeting was all about himself. Most of the time he did all of the talking and never really listened to anything that anyone else had to say. He was practically spewing in my face about how he deserved so much more than anyone else, and thinking back now I should not have exposed myself to his selfish thinking. Then again, that guy in the bookstore did not help much either. I remember when I asked him to help me find the book I was looking for he just stared at me like I had just arrived from another planet. When he finally did speak his response of “What do you want?” should have tipped me off to the fact that this guy was toxic. I forced him to help me find the book just because I was being stubborn. I probably should have walked away before his attitude got all over me.

Riding the bike this week actually helped I think. It was good to get some fresh air and I enjoy the convenience and ease of parking in the city when I only need a small space. Maybe I should have stayed out longer on that day to let the positive effect fill my body and my mind, sort of like storing up the positive energy for the latter part of the week. I have to remember to do that next time.

I spoke to a friend this morning who gave me some excellent advice. She said, why not just let go today and do something crazy. Play the music really loud, and just dance. Just the image of me dancing in the kitchen made me smile. I think I am going to try that. In fact when I finish writing this I am going to turn up the music really loud, and get my dance on. I know that will work to adjust my attitude. I am not going to chase any business today. That can wait until next week. No conversations today about who I owe, or who owes me. I will avoid the doubters, negative thinkers, and self absorbed people who really just take away my energy and don’t add anything positive. I already know who they are, and that is the real beauty of Caller ID.

I don’t know what your kind of week you have had. Maybe you too have been exposed to some of the same people I ran into earlier this week. I would not be surprised because they are everywhere. It could be you caught it from work, your boss, or associates. Sometimes you can just catch it doing life. It’s a virus so you can’t do anything other than treat the symptoms. If you are lacking energy, lost your creativity, your head is full with worry or doubt then those are the most common symptoms. Today is the start of a long weekend. Nothing gets the blood flowing, and heart pumping like some good old fashioned music. You know what you like. Go ahead, turn it up. Pump up the volume and dance.

Prologue: I tried it already. I turned up the music in my office. The effect is already starting to ward off the symptoms. I am going to call my friend with the music playing in the background. The cure works! My attitude is already improving, my smile is back. I changed my mind about avoiding people today. I am going to spread some of this joy around. I know a few people that can use it.

The Graceful Dead

Many years ago I read a book written by Max Lucado which is titled “In The Grip of Grace” This is a thoughtful and thought provoking book about the way in which we deal with grace at many levels in our lives. I was Reading a blog this past week that brought back one of the stories from the book. I have revised the story here in a number of ways, but I think that the essential message is worth telling and perhaps my revision will make the story palatable to a broader audience.

The house where Jonathan lived was the perfect place for a young boy. There was a small back yard and plenty of space to play. Jonathan enjoyed the yard when his friends came over to play, but the place that he enjoyed the most was the small pond that was just across the street from the house in a small park. Jonathan’s mother often took him there and he sometimes played just chasing the ducks in the pond. Over the years Jonathan grew to love the pond and he especially loved playing with the ducks. His sister Leslie enjoyed the park also, but being three years older most of the time just sat on the benches reading and enjoying the sunlight.

The street in front of their house was not a busy street. The park setting where the house was located included a number of homes of varying sizes that ringed the small pond. The homes formed a cul-de-sac with the street exclusively serving the residents of this small neighborhood. The infrequent traffic on this street consisted of the occasional package delivery van or the daily mail. Most of the other traffic was the coming and going of the neighbors. Still, being only six years old Jonathan was not permitted to cross the street to the pond alone. He longed for the day when he would be as old as his sister who sometimes was permitted to walk over to the small pond to sit on the benches and talk with her friends. For Jonathan that day arrived during the summer on his ninth birthday.

Jonathan’s birthday celebration was attended by friends and family alike. They played games in the park (extreme capture the flag was his favorite) and had pizza and birthday cake. Jonathan received presents from everyone in attendance and as was the family tradition, the opening of the presents waited until the guests were gone and the party was over. After a long day of running and playing with his friends a very tired Jonathan would go home and open the presents, enjoying his gifts and spending time with family members that remained after the party.

The gifts that Jonathan received included the usual pairs of jeans, sports related shirts, colored t-shirts and other clothing. He received a new video game, and a few gift cards to the local bookstore. Like most nine year old boys Jonathan opened each of these gifts, took one quick look and then moved on to the next package or envelope. After opening a number of packages Jonathan came across the last package, a gift from his uncle. Inside the package was a slingshot. Jon’s father frowned at his brother for buying this for the boy. But he knew that this is what his brother always did. Jon was advised by his parents that toys like this could be dangerous, and that he should only use it when he was away from people or buildings as he could easily hurt someone or possibly break a window. Then, they told him to look in the next room for the special gift that they had for him. Jonathan ran to the living room, and there in the middle of the floor was a brand new BMX bike. This was the kind that Jonathan had been wanting all year.

The following morning Jonathan woke up early. He was planning to ride his new bike around the pond which his parents had agreed he could do. But he also had been thinking about his new slingshot. He slipped the slingshot in his back pocket as he headed out to get his new bike. He thought that perhaps he could ride to the far side of the pond and give it a try. There, he certainly could not break any windows or hit anyone. When he got to the far side of the pond Jonathan looked for a stone that he could use to test out his new slingshot. He soon found one, and fired it into the air. The stone flew up and across the pond. Jonathan thought that was pretty cool. Next he looked for a flat stone to try. He thought that perhaps he could shoot one across the water and make it skip like he had done so many times over the past three years. He soon found one and once again loaded it into the slingshot. Taking careful aim Jonathan fired the flat stone towards the water. Just as he released the stone, a duck came into view. Before Jonathan could do anything about it the stone struck the duck, killing it instantly. Jonathan was distraught and tears immediately began to stream down his face. Frightened, he jumped on his bike and headed for home.

Jonathan reached his front door quickly only to see Leslie standing there. She said “I saw what you did and I am going to tell mom.” Jonathan was ashamed because of what he had done, but also feared being punished for killing the duck. He pleaded with his sister not to tell their mother. She agreed, but told him that he would be required to do the dishes for her that evening. Jonathan agreed.

Later that night, after Jonathan had finished the dishes for his sister, she called him into her room. She told him that for the coming week he would be required to do all of her chores in addition to his. Jonathan protested but she quickly reminded him that if he did not agree she was going to tell mom about the duck. Reluctantly, he once again agreed. Jonathan went through the week not only doing the things he was required to do, but also doing the dishes and other chores for his sister. Every day she also found more and more things that she required of Jonathan, all the while reminding him that if he refused she was going to tell mom about the duck. Each time Jonathan would agree.

After a week of tormenting Jonathan in every way she could, Leslie finally went too far. She had taken his bike out of the garage early one morning and informed Jonathan that she was planning to ride his bike for the rest of the weekend. Jonathan protested and once again she said, “You will let me have the bike or I am going to tell mom about the dead duck.” Jonathan decided at that moment that rather than give up his bike that he himself was going to tell mom about the dead duck. He ran into the house to see his mom who was standing in the kitchen. Hearing him rushing in she turned to him and could see tears streaming down his face. She held him as he sobbed and blurted out the words, “mom, last week at the pond I killed a duck with my slingshot.”

Mothers have a wonderful way with children. Jonathan’s mom bent down so that she could see him face to face. She wiped his tears and looked into his eyes and said “I already knew about the duck.” Jonathan was puzzled. He asked her whether Leslie had told her about the incident. She said no, Leslie did not tell me, I saw you riding over by the pond and I was thinking about how quickly you have grown. I was thinking about how much you enjoyed the pond and how much you loved the ducks and playing in the water. It was then that I saw you playing with the slingshot. I saw the duck fly into your path when you took your second shot, and I saw him sink into the water. I also saw the tears on your face and your hurt expression when you realized that the duck was dead. When I saw your pain I instantly forgave you for what you had done. Jonathan was puzzled. He asked her, if you saw me and you forgave me then why did you let me go all of this time without saying anything? She answered “because I also saw what your sister was doing to you.” I saw how she was using the dead duck to keep you doing what she wanted you to do. I saw that she was using your fear and pain to hold you back. I just wanted to see how long you were going to allow a dead duck to keep you from enjoying your summer.

Jonathan is a lot like many of us. We all have dead ducks in our lives that are keeping us from our ability to enjoy the grace of those that love us. Perhaps your dead duck is something that you failed to accomplish that has been holding you back. Maybe your dead duck is a broken relationship or someone that has hurt you in the past. Or maybe your dead duck is something that you would have, could have, or should have done a long time ago. Whatever it is, it is still a dead duck. Dead ducks can keep us in a place where we fear what might happen because of the dead duck. The potential for embarrassment, shame or recrimination is a big stumbling block. Our actions, our relationships, even our perspective is stuck in that place where the duck died. If we ever have any expectation of breaking through to new vistas in our lives, if we expect to find our V.O.I.C.E. we then must stop worrying about dead ducks and learn to accept grace and forgiveness.

Start by forgiving yourself for the dead ducks in your life. It is likely that everyone else already has.

I Am Losing My Marbles

The following takes place between 12:00 and 1:00. This is the opening line for the fast paced weekly drama “24.” For the past month I have been hooked on the show after seeing the new season special on a Sunday night after football. This week I finally figured out that now they are just stringing me along. On this show nothing ever gets done in the hour. Most of the time either something new is starting, or they keep showing me clips of the events that started earlier. And honestly, there is just a running body count that is far too much for me to keep up with. This week I realized that I no longer cared for the show when I found myself preferring to talk to a friend while the show was running. That’s it, obsession over. I now have my sixty minutes of uninterrupted time back on Monday nights at 9:00 (that is until football season begins again).

I try to be fairly efficient with my time. In fact, I think that sometimes I am too obsessed with time. Looking around my small home office, there is all sorts of evidence of my time obsession. There are two large black and white radio clocks on the wall that keep precise time down to one millionth of a second. These are placed so that I can see the time from any vantage point in my office. My PDA and Outlook on my computer are constantly keeping time for me ringing out things I have scheduled or reminding me of an upcoming appointment or telephone call. My cell phone sits to my left with a large time display, and of course the system tray on the computer has the time neatly displayed to the right of the screen. I am not yet wearing my watch as I write this, but that is only because I forgot to put it on this morning when I started my day.

You would think that with this keen sense of the clock that I would always be on time for everything that I do. Instead, the opposite is true. I often find myself running late. While I am generally on-time for appointments (usually within 5 minutes or less), I normally need to break land speed records, find some crazy shortcut, or just plain run to arrive on time. I have existed in a state of frustration and usually panic over this until recently. As always, it takes the external observations of your friends to help you understand what is really going on. The diagnosis of my problem is that I tend to multi-task. I have been known to even read and write email messages while driving (please don't try this at home).

I entered the professional work world in the 70’s. I have pictures of me with my three-piece suit on sitting proudly behind my desk to prove it. I will not provide details here, but suffice it to say that the pictures depict colors, patterns, and fabrics that would be considered hazardous today. Back then we learned to manage in a minute. I even mastered the one minute reprimand as a young manager. In the early days of multi-tasking we learned to sign letters while talking on the telephone, and read your mail. This was particularly useful when talking with business associates or when you were included on those awful conference calls that pre-dated the internet.

Fast forward about thirty years. Today we live in a world where the constant beeping, chirping, ringing, buzzing, or digital ring tones are going off constantly. If these were not distracting enough, how many times have you had to listen to one side of a cell phone conversation in a public place? Somehow, we would be less distracted if both the people were there arguing together than we are when we hear the pleas of only half the conversation. We have all of these conveniences or devices because they will “save us time.” So, my question is “what are you doing with all of your new found time?”

I was reading this morning about a guy who keeps a small digital camera clipped to his belt. If a person can go to that extreme I can only guess that clipped to the same belt is a cell phone/email device. Before the new airline regulations came about I would bet you that this guy also carried a Swiss Army knife in his pocket, and likely has a Palm Pilot or some other device in his briefcase. Yet, with all of these time saving devices, I bet that just like me he still has to run to make his flight.

During a recent lunch meeting which lasted a little more than an hour, I watched as my two lunch mates checked their telephones/email devices multiple times. One of my companions actually answered the telephone, albeit to only say “I will call you right back” while he was actually talking. I have been guilty of these transgressions too. But now I have been cured. I turn off my telephone every day during the time that I spend doing research or writing. I have advanced to a level where I no longer even put my phone on vibrate during meetings. I have moved up to silent mode. I check email periodically (ok it is still about 15 times each day, but it is still periodically). I am giving real effort to this sense of unplugging.

I had a dream not long ago about a place where time was the coin of the realm. Everyone was paid with time. The wealthy lived forever because they could buy as much time as they wanted, and the poor died young because they had so little time. Still, in this world people grew old and suffered illness, but to die you had to give away all of your time. Your heirs would inherit your time and invest it to gain even more time. Bums on the street were begging by asking people “can you spare some time?” That concept frightened me.

Each of us really has the same amount of time every day. I once read a story about a man that kept a large jar full of marbles in his office. When asked about the jar he said this was his “time jar.” Every day he would remove a marble and throw it away as a symbolic gesture that another day had passed. The other day I completed a computer survey that said based on my lifestyle and other factors I would live for about 82 years. That means that I once had about thirty thousand marbles. If someone had placed marbles in my jar at my birth and removed one every day, today my jar would be two thirds empty. I have about eleven thousand marbles left. Today I will lose one of those marbles.

I can only wonder how I will spend the remaining eleven thousand marbles of my life. I know that back when I had some thirty thousand I wasted many of them. Yet, even then I thought that there just was not enough time to do what I wanted to do. I only wish that I had found my V.O.I.C.E. back when I had a lot more marbles. Still, eleven thousand marbles is quite a handful. I still have more than enough time to do all of the things I would like to do with my life. I wonder if you have been keeping track of your marbles. How many do you have left? You still have plenty of time to do what you want to do if you just begin today.

I have only just one minute, only sixty seconds in it.
Forced upon me, can’t refuse it.
Didn’t seek it, didn’t choose it, but it’s up to me to use it.
I must suffer if I lose it, give account if I abuse it.
Just a tiny little minute, but an eternity is in it.
-Dr. Benjamin Mays

What Happens When You Find Your V.O.I.C.E.

They were a group of friends, just a small circle of people. Not much is known of the members but we know that they were there. Perhaps they shared something in common, or maybe they lived within the confines of a small community. We may never really know for they played only a small part. Their mention is brief in the recorded history. In fact, if you read their story most people skip right past the part that they played. Most teachers on the subject tend to focus on the actions of the central character in this story. They see the intrigue, the unanswered questions, and the scheming of his enemies. The central character in this story does what he always does. He faces his critics, maintains his focus, and continues to carry out his mission.

This is a story about a few men and the actions they took on one critical day in history. They were ordinary men whose names have never been told. They received only brief recognition for their efforts that day. No awards were handed out, no citations were read, and no bonuses were paid. These men spent the remainder of their lives in obscurity. Their moment of fame was so brief that even historians fail to speak of their actions beyond recounting their story. These men did what they had to do when a friend was in need. What we know of them we learn only by trying to analyze their story. We are left to imagine what their motivation might have been. How could these otherwise ordinary men act in a coordinated fashion to accomplish something so extraordinary? We may never know the rest of their story, but we can guess that these were men that had found their V.O.I.C.E.

The story begins more than two thousand years ago. The world was a different place then. All that we learned we learned from people who went from town to town telling stories. We trusted differently then. We determined the character of a man or woman by the way they lived their lives. We had ideas about fate and the future that we would laugh at today. Most people of the time lived their entire lives never leaving the town of their birth. People were born into a variety of circumstances, and rarely did anyone rise above them. In fact the common belief at the time was that your circumstances were a function of your own past. Perhaps you had committed some wrong years ago. If not your own mistakes, then the mistakes of your parents were the reason for your troubles. In those days if you obeyed the law, worked at your craft, and paid your taxes you were considered an outstanding citizen. Perhaps the world we live in today is not all that different.

But, let us go back to our small group of friends. It is likely that they lived in their town, carried out their work, obeyed the law, and paid their taxes. There is no mention in history of this but we can imagine that they were pretty much like everyone else. In their midst the men apparently had a friend. It seems from reading the story that their friend was different. Based on what we know of the time their friend must have come from the wrong family. Maybe he had not followed the law or committed some other transgression. While we do not know what caused his life to go astray, we know from the story that something in his history left this man unable to walk. We know that his past did this to him because everyone at the time believed that your parents, or your background, or your circumstances dictated what your life was going to be. This man clearly came from the wrong side of the tracks and we know this because he could not walk. There was nothing to be done about this. The common expectation was that this man would and rightly should accept his fate. Perhaps he served as an example for everyone else. Obey the law, go to work, and hope for a proper birthright. Do these things and you will not end up like this man unable to walk and forced to live a miserable life.

We don’t often think that the opportunity for our personal greatness will come in the form of making the life of someone else better. That would be the view of people that have not yet found their V.O.I.C.E. A life without V.O.I.C.E. is lived without making an impact on your surroundings. A life without V.O.I.C.E. conforms to conventional measures of success and happiness. A life without V.O.I.C.E. tells us to seek wealth, beat the competition, avoid the less fortunate, put on the accepted face, and get what you can for you and your family. Our obscure heroes found their V.O.I.C.E. They knew that the life of their friend could be changed by their efforts. Because they had found their V.O.I.C.E. they believed that they could do something that had little benefit for them, but would yield great things for their suffering friend.

I imagine that the plan of our small circle of friends was simple in its beginning. We take our friend to the man that we heard could cure his disease. We take him there, we see the man, he cures our friend, and perhaps later on we can all go out to dinner together. Little did these friends know that in this simple act they would find their V.O.I.C.E.

The plan was going smoothly when the friends set out to see the man that could cure their friend. Because he could not walk the friends placed him on a mat and decided that four of them would carry him. We don’t know how many members of the group went on that fateful day. Perhaps there were eight of them and they took turns carrying the mat. Maybe there were just six men shifting regularly so that two men could always lead the way and rest as they made their journey. As we have said, history does not record much about them on that day.

The friends make their way to the place where the man was rumored to be. When they arrive they learn that they are too late. A huge crowd has gathered blocking their way. There is no way that they will ever get their friend close enough to the man to tell him of his troubles. Everyone in the crowd has a need and a desire to see this man. Everyone viewed their need as greater than his. To the crowd, this man had no greater right to see the man than they did. And remember that conventional wisdom of the day suggested that perhaps he had less need as his condition suggested that he had done wrong somewhere in his past. He did not deserve to be cured. And so, the men and their friend found themselves on the edge of the crowd defeated and unable to do what they set out to do.

If you read the story it seems to me that it was at this precise moment that the men found their V.O.I.C.E. We don’t know whether it was just one of the members of the group, or whether the seeds of an idea germinated among the group. The history does not tell us that they held a meeting or even took a vote. We don’t see the emergence of a heroic leader that inspires the men with a speech. We don’t really know how it happened. What we do know if we read the story is that the men found their V.O.I.C.E.

At the start of this journey we know that these men had compassion for their friend. They had a shared set of Values. Perhaps their value was compassion for their fellow man, or maybe their Value was teamwork. We may never know, but we know from their story that these men were motivated by their Values. These men also had a clear and compelling Objective. The Objective was to get their friend to the man that could cure him. It is unlikely that this was a written Objective, but the Objective was communicated clearly among the group and understood by everyone. These men had Integrity. That was clear in a number of ways. First, when the men arrived and encountered the obstacle of the crowd, the story tells us they did not just give up and head for home. We also know that the men were committed to doing what they said they would do which was to take their friend to be cured. They understood Choices. At the moment when it seemed to these men that they would not complete their objective, they made a Choice. Perhaps they understood the consequences of their Choice. But it is clear that they did not blame the crowd. They made a Choice to take action. Finally, these men displayed their E-cubed, Emotional Energy and Edge. After a long trip carrying their crippled friend, we can assume that the men were tired. It would have been much easier to accept defeat. After all, they had done all that they could do. They had the best of intentions, but it just did not work out as they planned. That is not what happened with our heroes. They had Emotional Energy and Edge. They made a bold choice. They decided that they would break with conventional wisdom and practice. They were going to accomplish their objective, and they were going to see to it that their friend made it to the man that could cure him. Values, clear Objectives, Integrity, Choices, Emotional Energy and Edge. Our heroes in that instant found their V.O.I.C.E.

The story of our heroes is recounted in the book of Mark in the second chapter beginning at the third verse. It is so short that I will tell it here:

Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven”. Later in the story, after confronting the critics in the crowd, Jesus said further to the paralyzed man “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all.

The story ends here. We never again here from the paralyzed man, and there is no celebration for his friends. Because they found their V.O.I.C.E. the world was changed. A man that was paralyzed walked again. Our heroes did not accept convention. They demonstrated Emotional Energy and Edge when they cut a whole in the roof of a building to accomplish their Objective. They were guided by their Values, and Integrity caused them to do what they said they would do.

Why must we find our V.O.I.C.E.? We must do so because each of us has within us the capacity to change our world. Maybe finding your V.O.I.C.E. will cause a great piece of literature to be created that will expand the imagination or lift spirits. Perhaps your V.O.I.C.E. is expressed in poetry. For some, their V.O.I.C.E. will only be clear within the walls of their home as they parent a child who may some day go on to greatness. Maybe your V.O.I.C.E. is to mentor those less fortunate or to teach. Or just perhaps, yours will be the V.O.I.C.E. of a leader. You may lead just one person, a group of six, hundreds, or thousands of people. Having leaders that find their V.O.I.C.E. can have the greatest impact on our world. Whatever your reason, you owe it to yourself and those you lead to find your V.O.I.C.E.

Looking Backwards to Move Forward

Today I want to go back to my favorite analogy for leading and living a balanced life. That is the analogy of seeing our lives as though we are at the center of a compass. Today I want to talk about what it takes to get a true reading of your direction.

I have held a license to drive in the state of Pennsylvania for more than 34 years. In that time despite years of practice, I have finally come to realize that I am not a good driver. This has been pointed out to me many times but I have always turned a deaf ear to the complainer. Like Rain Main, I continue to repeat over and over “I am an excellent driver”. Of course, in that movie Rain Main was only driving in a circle. I think that I can do circles just fine, but I have trouble with the whole left turn, right turn, stay in your lane and don’t get too close thing. I have never once hit a pedestrian or animal, and never in my experience has a passenger in my vehicle been hurt. But I have put fear in the hearts of many. I choose not recount my total driving record here, but suffice it to say that in a one year period I had three accidents in a parking lot. This was the exact same parking lot in which I parked daily for three years. Fortunately, only during one of those accidents were there passengers in the car. Lately, I have been limited to principally driving my Vespa, and it seems for now at least that may be the safest thing that I can do.

I have determined in my infinite wisdom that the problem for me is not that I have a particular difficulty or lack of ability that affects my driving. Rather, my problem is that I am frequently looking backwards when moving forward. Further complicating my problems is that I am often thinking about where I want to go, and not focusing on where I am and how I am going to get there. I have reasoned that these are terrible attributes when it comes to driving and thus my conclusion that I am not a good driver. However, these are most worthy attributes when it comes to viewing our life direction and personal goals.

When I was thinking about this topic I was directed back to the book of Numbers in the Bible. This is a book that I have always had difficulty reading because of the extensive and often times tedious lists that it contains. I struggle my way through this book often times unable to pronounce the myriad names, terms, and places mentioned. Today I took time to read the 33rd chapter which chronicles the stages of Israel’s journey to get to the Promised Land. In this chapter Moses, who for the more visual among us looks exactly like Charlton Heston, is commanded by God to record the stages in their journey. Charlton Heston, I mean Moses, dutifully and copiously records every stage of the Israelites journey. The list of names and places is fairly long, and for me the gymnastics required of my tongue is exhausting. Reading this list a pattern appears. That is that each time a place is named as a stage in the journey, Moses repeats the name of that place as he lists the next destination. This suggest to me that every time the Israelites wanted to move forward towards their goal of reaching the Promised Land, they always first looked backwards.

Often times I find that we live our lives with varying degrees of focus on our goals and desires. Those considered more successful among us are said to have had a keen focus on their goals. We often hear of such people with statements like “she really knows what she wants.” Perhaps this is true when the goals we seek are material. I for one no longer view success by measuring the things we have. In fact, I believe that most of us view real success not by what we have, but by what we want to do or what we want to be. We need only to look back at our list of New Year resolutions to find that this is true. As we mature, who we are or what we do becomes our measure of success.

As we seek to live more balanced or principle centered lives, lives with V.O.I.C.E. we must determine our place in the world. We must take the time to determine where we want to go, and what we want to become. There is a process of looking back that I try to practice weekly. In order to do this you must find quiet time for reflection. This is the equivalent of standing still with your compass to get a true reading. During this time, you must think first about the following: Your passion, focus, perspective, balance, choices and potential for growth.

In thinking about your passion, ask yourself what your heart, mind and spirit tell you that you want to create, develop, preserve or support. Your focus, is where you review the goals you have established for yourself and your life. Next you will think about your perspective. Look at the big picture, not just the pressing emergencies that are clanging for your attention. Here you will determine your schedule for the coming week. When thinking of balance, think about the people and things that are important to you. Are you spending time with all of these people and doing all of these things? What adjustments do you need to make. Review your choices. Have you made decisions that reflect your integrity to do what you said you would do? Have you kept your promises and your commitments? The final area for your quiet review is the potential for growth. Looking back at the past week, you must honestly evaluate where you have been. Perhaps it is time to realign to make sure you are staying on course. Did you accomplish what you set out to do last week? Was what you set out to do realistic? What patterns are you seeing that keep you from achieving your goals? Are there people or other distractions that hinder your progress? Where do these people fit in your life?

Looking backwards to move forward will act as a touchstone for your life. You can through this process determine that your goals are genuine and meaningful. This will force you to quiet your mind and your environment. You must be honest with yourself. Admit where you may be missing the mark. Make course corrections. Find a guide if you are lost. Look backwards weekly and you will move forward daily.

Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe