Can You Dance?

I grew up in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania during the 1960s. Of course this does not mean that I was born in the 60s. When I refer to growing up I am speaking of the age when I was more or less aware of what was going on in my world. The 60s were of course a time when history was being made. As a young child in the 60s I saw race riots, the deaths of John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr., Medger Evers, and Malcolm X. These events marked the time in a way that I can never forget. Then, there was another regular image in my youth. That was the image of American Bandstand with Dick Clark.

I wonder how many readers of this page actually know of Dick Clark as anything other than the timeless guy that until last year dropped the ball in Times Square on New Year’s Eve. I remember Dick Clark as the host of a daily show that we watched in my home. To me, Dick Clark was not an icon, but rather the man that ran the show that my Uncles wanted to get on so that they could be seen dancing on television. They never made it to the show, but we watched, and they hoped anyway.

Dancing was a big part of my youth. As a teen I remember that there was always a new dance to learn, and “steps”, as we called them that were a part of every dance. The music of the time was great and you could actually learn all of the words to the songs. And oh could you dance to the music. There were fast dances, slow dances, and even group dances done in a line. It seemed to me that everyone danced and dancing made you happy. You learned to dance in your living room then, usually in full view of one or more of your parents as you practiced the latest step. If you were lucky, as I was, you had an older sibling or a relative to teach you the latest steps. Every dance required steps and we learned them, in order.

As I have grown older I have watched the changes in dance and I too have often said, though I hate to admit it, that I don’t understand the dances that the kids do today. But, I still love music, and even some of the music that my children listen to will cause me to “bounce.”

Dancing is nothing more than simply following a routine. In fact years ago we called dancing “a dance routine.” As we get older most of us don’t think much about dancing. We still do it at the occasional wedding, or when we get a chance on a night out, but dancing is not an important part of adult life. Or is it? I would like to suggest that each of us dances every day. Perhaps your dance is what my friend John Alston talks about in his book “Stuff Happens (and then you fix it!).” He talks about “The Dance That Mom Taught Us.” That dance goes like this: get up, go to work, come home, and go to bed. John describes this as a simple four step routine. A routine that we do every day, day in and day out, until we wake up one day and find ourselves in a rut. Maybe your dance has five or six or twelve steps, but it is likely that you still do that same dance every day.

It seems to me that we have missed or perhaps forgotten the joy of dancing. When I danced in my teens I learned to put my own unique “twist” to every dance. I never did it the way that everyone else did, I wanted my “dance” to be unique. Yet, we are told as we get older to just “dance” like everyone else. Worse, even a unique dance can wear you down if you do the same dance every day. Make no mistake here, I am a huge fan of consistency, and established routines. In fact I live by them, swear by them, and teach them to anyone that will listen. But the essential point here is that the purpose of teaching the routine or of having a routine is to establish the pattern. Once you learn the pattern you should find ways to vary it and make it your own. Once the pattern is learned, change it often. It is like when some of us started to drive. It was all you could do to shift the gears (look I am no spring chicken OK?), release the clutch with your left foot, push the gas with your right foot, steer the manual steering, and accomplish all of this without having the car stall. But once you learned the pattern, mastered the dance, you could shift the gears, ease off of the clutch, press the gas, steer with one hand, listen to the radio, and still place your right hand on the thigh of that pretty young girl in the passenger seat. You had mastered the routine.

Routines can be your best friend when you find yourself in unfamiliar territory. They are the best way to learn something new. Yet, a routine can make life dull and boring if you stay at it too long. Change the dance. Add a spin, do a dip, or shake what your momma made you. Jump for a change, shout out loud, or raise your hands in the air like you just don’t care! Whatever you do, it is time to look at your routine. Make a change and watch how your blood flows differently. You will find new energy, joy, and if you are lucky, perhaps you will find a smile today. Get up right now wherever you read this and do a dance. No one is looking. Well, perhaps someone is looking, but you can explain later. Think about the guys in the Nextel commercial that are dancing in their office. They know how to take time to dance, and since you are taking a break to read this, you can dance too.