The Graceful Dead

Many years ago I read a book written by Max Lucado which is titled “In The Grip of Grace” This is a thoughtful and thought provoking book about the way in which we deal with grace at many levels in our lives. I was Reading a blog this past week that brought back one of the stories from the book. I have revised the story here in a number of ways, but I think that the essential message is worth telling and perhaps my revision will make the story palatable to a broader audience.

The house where Jonathan lived was the perfect place for a young boy. There was a small back yard and plenty of space to play. Jonathan enjoyed the yard when his friends came over to play, but the place that he enjoyed the most was the small pond that was just across the street from the house in a small park. Jonathan’s mother often took him there and he sometimes played just chasing the ducks in the pond. Over the years Jonathan grew to love the pond and he especially loved playing with the ducks. His sister Leslie enjoyed the park also, but being three years older most of the time just sat on the benches reading and enjoying the sunlight.

The street in front of their house was not a busy street. The park setting where the house was located included a number of homes of varying sizes that ringed the small pond. The homes formed a cul-de-sac with the street exclusively serving the residents of this small neighborhood. The infrequent traffic on this street consisted of the occasional package delivery van or the daily mail. Most of the other traffic was the coming and going of the neighbors. Still, being only six years old Jonathan was not permitted to cross the street to the pond alone. He longed for the day when he would be as old as his sister who sometimes was permitted to walk over to the small pond to sit on the benches and talk with her friends. For Jonathan that day arrived during the summer on his ninth birthday.

Jonathan’s birthday celebration was attended by friends and family alike. They played games in the park (extreme capture the flag was his favorite) and had pizza and birthday cake. Jonathan received presents from everyone in attendance and as was the family tradition, the opening of the presents waited until the guests were gone and the party was over. After a long day of running and playing with his friends a very tired Jonathan would go home and open the presents, enjoying his gifts and spending time with family members that remained after the party.

The gifts that Jonathan received included the usual pairs of jeans, sports related shirts, colored t-shirts and other clothing. He received a new video game, and a few gift cards to the local bookstore. Like most nine year old boys Jonathan opened each of these gifts, took one quick look and then moved on to the next package or envelope. After opening a number of packages Jonathan came across the last package, a gift from his uncle. Inside the package was a slingshot. Jon’s father frowned at his brother for buying this for the boy. But he knew that this is what his brother always did. Jon was advised by his parents that toys like this could be dangerous, and that he should only use it when he was away from people or buildings as he could easily hurt someone or possibly break a window. Then, they told him to look in the next room for the special gift that they had for him. Jonathan ran to the living room, and there in the middle of the floor was a brand new BMX bike. This was the kind that Jonathan had been wanting all year.

The following morning Jonathan woke up early. He was planning to ride his new bike around the pond which his parents had agreed he could do. But he also had been thinking about his new slingshot. He slipped the slingshot in his back pocket as he headed out to get his new bike. He thought that perhaps he could ride to the far side of the pond and give it a try. There, he certainly could not break any windows or hit anyone. When he got to the far side of the pond Jonathan looked for a stone that he could use to test out his new slingshot. He soon found one, and fired it into the air. The stone flew up and across the pond. Jonathan thought that was pretty cool. Next he looked for a flat stone to try. He thought that perhaps he could shoot one across the water and make it skip like he had done so many times over the past three years. He soon found one and once again loaded it into the slingshot. Taking careful aim Jonathan fired the flat stone towards the water. Just as he released the stone, a duck came into view. Before Jonathan could do anything about it the stone struck the duck, killing it instantly. Jonathan was distraught and tears immediately began to stream down his face. Frightened, he jumped on his bike and headed for home.

Jonathan reached his front door quickly only to see Leslie standing there. She said “I saw what you did and I am going to tell mom.” Jonathan was ashamed because of what he had done, but also feared being punished for killing the duck. He pleaded with his sister not to tell their mother. She agreed, but told him that he would be required to do the dishes for her that evening. Jonathan agreed.

Later that night, after Jonathan had finished the dishes for his sister, she called him into her room. She told him that for the coming week he would be required to do all of her chores in addition to his. Jonathan protested but she quickly reminded him that if he did not agree she was going to tell mom about the duck. Reluctantly, he once again agreed. Jonathan went through the week not only doing the things he was required to do, but also doing the dishes and other chores for his sister. Every day she also found more and more things that she required of Jonathan, all the while reminding him that if he refused she was going to tell mom about the duck. Each time Jonathan would agree.

After a week of tormenting Jonathan in every way she could, Leslie finally went too far. She had taken his bike out of the garage early one morning and informed Jonathan that she was planning to ride his bike for the rest of the weekend. Jonathan protested and once again she said, “You will let me have the bike or I am going to tell mom about the dead duck.” Jonathan decided at that moment that rather than give up his bike that he himself was going to tell mom about the dead duck. He ran into the house to see his mom who was standing in the kitchen. Hearing him rushing in she turned to him and could see tears streaming down his face. She held him as he sobbed and blurted out the words, “mom, last week at the pond I killed a duck with my slingshot.”

Mothers have a wonderful way with children. Jonathan’s mom bent down so that she could see him face to face. She wiped his tears and looked into his eyes and said “I already knew about the duck.” Jonathan was puzzled. He asked her whether Leslie had told her about the incident. She said no, Leslie did not tell me, I saw you riding over by the pond and I was thinking about how quickly you have grown. I was thinking about how much you enjoyed the pond and how much you loved the ducks and playing in the water. It was then that I saw you playing with the slingshot. I saw the duck fly into your path when you took your second shot, and I saw him sink into the water. I also saw the tears on your face and your hurt expression when you realized that the duck was dead. When I saw your pain I instantly forgave you for what you had done. Jonathan was puzzled. He asked her, if you saw me and you forgave me then why did you let me go all of this time without saying anything? She answered “because I also saw what your sister was doing to you.” I saw how she was using the dead duck to keep you doing what she wanted you to do. I saw that she was using your fear and pain to hold you back. I just wanted to see how long you were going to allow a dead duck to keep you from enjoying your summer.

Jonathan is a lot like many of us. We all have dead ducks in our lives that are keeping us from our ability to enjoy the grace of those that love us. Perhaps your dead duck is something that you failed to accomplish that has been holding you back. Maybe your dead duck is a broken relationship or someone that has hurt you in the past. Or maybe your dead duck is something that you would have, could have, or should have done a long time ago. Whatever it is, it is still a dead duck. Dead ducks can keep us in a place where we fear what might happen because of the dead duck. The potential for embarrassment, shame or recrimination is a big stumbling block. Our actions, our relationships, even our perspective is stuck in that place where the duck died. If we ever have any expectation of breaking through to new vistas in our lives, if we expect to find our V.O.I.C.E. we then must stop worrying about dead ducks and learn to accept grace and forgiveness.

Start by forgiving yourself for the dead ducks in your life. It is likely that everyone else already has.